


If you're that way inclined

by Porcelainmunchkin



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-03-16 08:32:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 49,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3481382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Porcelainmunchkin/pseuds/Porcelainmunchkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After breaking up with Blaine Kurt needs to get his life back together. For him it also means stop being dependant on his dad financially so he finds a job that will help him with that. And he's not really proud of it but also not ashamed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Astraplain (http://astraplain.tumblr.com) for help with betaing. I'll try to post as regularly as possible as I have some chunks of the fic written already.
> 
> Title is a quote from "Killer Queen" by Queen.
> 
> This fic will cover the events of canon storylines with exception specifically mentioned in the plot. So it started after The Break Up and will continue through season 4.

Breaking up with Blaine wasn't easy. But then again being cheated on didn't feel easy either, and now Kurt was just used to "not easy" in his life.   
No one knew where he currently was, and they didn't because Kurt made sure it stayed that way. When he broke up with Blaine, at first he mourned. The life he was going to have was slipping away and he needed to get over it. It took him months to completely recover and he still wasn't sure it their relationship was completely over. But he had other problems to take care of soon enough. 

Kurt's dad was perfectly fine with paying all his bills but that wasn't what Kurt wanted. That was more Rachel's style. Not that there was anything wrong with Rachel, she was his best friend, Kurt loved her, he did. He just didn't share her views on dealing with life. He would never be comfortable with having to ask his dad for money all the time. Depending on Burt was never an option. Kurt didn't want to depend on this dad for money, Burt was working hard enough for both garage and congress and putting more stress on his father wasn't an option. 

It's what got Kurt here. It wasn't easy to get a job in New York. Not the job that would pay the bills, not the one flexible enough to fit in his very few free hours between Vogue.com office hours. He heard about this job opportunity and came. It was a stupid idea, Kurt knew that. He knew his dad would prefer him not to work at all over this. But his dad wasn't there and he didn't know how humiliating it was to ask for money when some emergency happened. After yet another phone call made because he ran out of money too soon Kurt decided he’d had enough.

Kurt closed his eyes and covered his face with a forearm. He'd managed to detach himself from what was happening and not panic. The whole time spent on training he was taught by Jake how not to panic, what to expect from the clients. They never had sex with each other, it wasn't a brothel where people could be treated without any respect. Kurt heard horror stories about trainings in those, where people were left with no choice what they were doing during the training, where there was no way back, where they had to have sex with their co-workers before they were allowed to work. Escort agency Kurt snorted and shook his head. It sounded so fancy and it was, sometimes. Sometimes clients didn't even want anything remotely sexual, sometimes they felt lonely. But most of the time? It ended here, in a hotel room, paid by their clients, people who basically expected to hook up and move on with their life and didn't want to risk anything. Escorts were clean, well mannered, discreet people. Heaven for some more or less desperate guys looking for easy meaningless sex.  
   
Kurt sat up and winced. He was sore, which made him chuckle bitterly. Not that Jason, if he remembered that guy's name correctly, was rough but it had been a little too long for Kurt to be comfortable immediately afterwards. Kurt stood up and grabbed his underwear from the floor before going to shower. He needed to freshen up before getting back downstairs. Or going home. Kurt sighed and grabbed a towel from the cabinet in the bathroom and turned on the water, making it quite warm but not scalding. He threw the towel carelessly towards the sink and got under the spray of water. The first few drops made him relax and then he remembered.  

Kurt leaned against the shower wall and closed his eyes. He just had sex. He just had sex for money. He got paid for spending an hour on a diner and then an hour in a hotel room alone with a stranger. Kurt felt his throat tighten as the sob ripped through his body and he hit his head against the wall. He was doing it for himself. Certainly not for his father who'd be ashamed if he knew. Not for Rachel, who didn't care how Kurt paid his share of the rent as long as it was paid. Not for anyone else. He was doing it for himself. Because he’d had enough of struggling. It was his own choice so why now he was crying? Why did it feel like something very important was slipping away, like he was losing something? Kurt bit his lip as he sobbed, remembering his dad’s words. He did matter, he knew that. What he did physically wasn’t ruining his life, wasn’t destroying everything. He had sex for money but it was completely physical, it was not going to influence the rest of his life.

Kurt took a deep breath and tried to calm down. It took a few minutes, tears coming back over and over again until he finally felt a little better. He shampooed his hair and soaped his body before rinsing and getting out of the shower. He dried himself with a towel and went back to the bedroom with it wrapped around his hips. Kurt sighed and collected his clothes from the floor. He wrinkled his nose at the state of his shirt before putting it on. He just wanted to go home, he could take a few wrinkles on his shirt for that long. 

Kurt left the room, making sure to take the key card and went to the elevators. Seeing how two were currently both taken and on far floors, he looked around and a staircase caught his eye. A good jog, he decided, would be nice as he started getting down the stairs. One floor, two, three, four, after five he stopped counting until he was downstairs. He knew he was going to regret that in the morning but some physical exercise was needed. Especially now, Kurt thought as he made a mental note to look up gym membership in the neighbourhood. He never wanted to make it yet another expense but now he could afford it. And it’d make him look better for his clients and do his job better so it was worth it.

He went to the main hall and sat on the couch, clutching his key card in a hand as he waited for his boss to approach him. Of course hotel staff knew what was happening there. They actually gained from this little business going on in there because the agency made sure all their guests paid for the night, no matter what service they were provided with, as the part of a payment for services. And escorts weren't exactly visible for anyone who didn't want to see them. They weren't disrupting the peace, so no one expected them to be anything more than guests. Everyone was happy.

Kurt smiled as Andrew sat by him.

"So, you got your payment?" the man asked Kurt quietly, putting a paper coffee cup in front of him. Kurt smiled gratefully and nodded.

"I'm about to check out with the reception." he replied calmly.

"Good, kid. Let me know if you want to get into it for good, as we discussed. We'll sign the official contract for the open for public service but as we discussed..."

"It's not exactly that, I know. It's clear. I'll give you a call." Kurt said quietly and stood up, Andrew following him and offering his hand. 

"I'm sure you did good job today." he said casually as he shook Kurt's hand, making him snort. "You will get used to it. If you want to." Andrew patted Kurt's back and went to the free couch a few feet away, leaving Kurt alone.

Kurt went to a reception, handing them the key. He smiled politely at the receptionist, knowing very well she was aware of what just happened in that room and trying not to look her directly in the eyes. Kurt left the hotel as soon as she said they were done.

The cab ride home, and he could easily spend some money on it thanks to the amount he had earned in the hotel he left just a minute ago, was a pleasant experience after the daily struggle in the subway. He simply didn’t have any energy left for the public transport. Kurt sighed as the cabby drove through the city. He closed his eyes and breathed slowly.

Kurt smiled at the cabby and paid him when they were in Bushwick, not getting a smile back but it's not like he expected one. It couldn't have been a great job in New York, full of angry people and lost tourists. Kurt shut the car door and looked around. The street was dark, already due to the broken lamp by their apartment. He chuckled dryly, good thing to accompany his not so perfect mood. 

He opened the door and got into the building, once again choosing the stairs over an elevator, which he regretted halfway through the trip up the stairs as he felt his body ache. Adrenaline wearing off made him finally feel how sore he really is so reaching the top of the stairs was a relief. Kurt opened the door and sighed as he saw Brody and Rachel eating pizza again. He wondered if they were using it as a courtship device.

"Hey, Kurt." Brody smiled and stood up, offering his hand, which Kurt shook and nodded as Rachel squealed and got up, hugging him. 

"How was your very first night at work?!" she asked, still having a piece of pizza in her hand.

"Rachel, ew, don't stain my shirt," Kurt smiled tiredly. "It was not actually my first day of work in my life, you know? It's just a part time job." 

"I know, buzzkill." she rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand, leading him to a table in the middle of a room. "But it's something new, right? Exciting!" 

"It is." Kurt nodded absently. "It was good, more physical than office job at vogue.com, obviously. But it's nice to have something new to do."

"Yeah, I believe you, come on, we have pizza and some NYADA gossip."

Kurt wrinkled his nose and shook his head. He wasn't expecting her to treat him gently because of his own failure but sometimes it felt like he could have come to New York alone and would, at least, meet new people instead of feeling stuck with his best friend who had no time or didn't feel like talking about anything else than her school, the one that hadn't accepted Kurt. He winced quietly, he didn't mean to be bitter over NYADA of all things. It felt a little silly for him not to be able to move on.

"I think I'm going to turn in. I could steal one piece first though, if it's okay?" he looked at Brody with a smile, pretty sure Rachel didn't pay for the food.  
   
"Sure, dude. Take two, even, we have too much anyway." Brody shrugged and sat down.

"Are you seriously not going to stay with us? We could have a nice evening; pop open that wine Brody bought earlier?" Rachel looked at Kurt with a smile. She was in a good mood, which was great but it also meant she was going to be very chatty and ask too many questions. And Kurt definitely wasn't up for it, thank you very much.  
   
"Rachel, I love you. But I worked two jobs tonight, I'm really tired. And you two?" he pointed at Rachel and Brody. "Please keep it quiet." 

Kurt disappeared behind the curtains with his pizza before they could protest. He knew asking them wouldn't do any good and decided to take the earbuds out of a bedside drawer before changing into comfortable clothes, the tee shirt and comfy sweat pants he would never let anyone see him in outside but that were the best for a cold night in New York. 

Kurt looked in a mirror and touched his stomach and then let his hand creep on a thigh, pinching it slightly. Someone else had seen him that night, naked. Someone he hoped to never meet again had sex with him. Kurt laughed dryly and shook his head. Not as prudish as people thought he was.

Or was he really? He'd only had one partner in his life. So little experience, so few nights spent in bed with another person. And that evening? It didn't count. Maybe physically, maybe in some weird, twisted "how many guys have I slept with" way, but definitely didn't count as an actual experience anyone would appreciate. 

Kurt closed his eyes as he moved his hand to touch the back of a thigh and then a little higher, more hesitantly to touch his asscheek. He bit his lip as he thought about the guy from earlier. His client. 

It didn't matter. It was just act, it was just physical. _It couldn't hurt him._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for explicit sex scene between a prostitute and his client.

Eight days later Kurt finally called Andrew. He ran out of money earned the first night pretty quickly, life in New York was more expensive than he’d ever thought, and he knew he either had to call his dad again or make up his mind about the agency. Planning monthly expenses beforehand never worked for him. There was always something like the broken refrigerator two days after his first night with a client and asking Burt for help was humiliating to Kurt.

He thought about the long hours in Vogue.com. He had no chance to get an office job and despite what he had told Rachel, a physical job even as simple as a waiter would be exhausting. Night shifts in some diner after full day at Vogue weren’t an option.

The decision to finally call wasn’t as easy as he thought. The first time didn’t make him feel comfortable with the work he had to do. It didn’t seem less dirty, it didn’t feel any less bad than the first day after he’d made a decision. Shame was still there, fear of what was going to come, he was terrified someone would find out or that he was going to get hurt. But this… This felt worth it. Shame over having to prostitute himself wasn’t worse than the feeling when he had to once again ask his dad for help. No one was going to know about this, no one but Kurt but if he had to ask for money again, it’d influence his father, Carole, Finn because he was living off their money. So it trumped the feeling of shame, he decided as he took his phone and dialled Andrew’s number.

"Hi, Kurt." Andrew picked up the phone after the second signal.

"Hey, I made my mind…" Kurt sat on the couch and curled his legs under himself.

"Took you long enough." Andrew replied, no sign of anger in his voice.

"I’m sorry, it’s not… It wasn’t an easy decision." Kurt explained quietly and bit his lip. So he lost his chance, didn’t he. Too long to call back and the job wasn’t waiting for him anymore.

"Understandable. So you decided you wanted to continue working with us?"

"Yeah, I… Yeah." Kurt rolled his eyes at his own lack of words.

"Okay. We’ll put you on a website, we’ll need your picture but without face and we’ll make it unrecognisable as per contract which we’ll sign as soon as possible. You’ll get a pager and we’ll decide on schedule but the schedule is just an idea, pager will be more important. If you get a call and can’t make it then you just let us know."

"Wouldn’t it be more handy to use the phone like right now?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Do you want to have your phone flooded with texts and calls from the agency?" Andrew asked, Kurt could hear his voice laced with some humour. Kurt winced and shook his head.

"Okay, you’re right. I didn’t think. Pager sounds right for this." he said quietly.

"Thought so." Andrew replied with a chuckle.

"Where should I show up to sign the contact? I’m free every evening so it’s whenever it’s good for you."

"Tomorrow at the hotel, 8 pm?"

"Sounds good."

"See you there."

~*~

It took a month before Kurt finally entered the hotel room and didn’t feel any shame about what was going to happen. He didn’t feel scared, he wasn’t ashamed. He knew no one was going to find out or hurt him. This was safe and it wasn’t going to hurt him. Maybe make him less emotional about Blaine and the failed relationship but since when it was a bad thing?

"It was a nice evening." the dark-haired guy said. Paul. Kurt smiled and stepped close, wrapping arms around Paul’s waist.

"It was nice, I really liked the restaurant, thank you."

He was playing Carl, a shy boy taken on a date and then coerced into bed by the older, handsome gentleman. That was his client’s fantasy and he had to go with it.

"You’re welcome, sweetheart. I’m glad you let me bring you here." Paul rubbed Kurt’s back and took a step towards the bed.

"Paul, do you…" he frowned. Shy, innocent boy. He had to remember and play his part. The money he was offered was really good and the role was easy.

"Do I what, honey?" Paul let his hand slide down Kurt’s thigh and pulled him closer. Kurt gasped and stepped back.

"I’m not sure… I don’t know…" Kurt shook his head and went back two more steps.

"Come on, I’m not going to hurt you…"

"I know but I’m not sure, you know…" he looked down on the floor and bit his lip, trying to remember how it felt for him long months ago, when he was as innocent as Carl was.

"I’ll make you feel good. It’ll make you feel good. Nice end to the nice date, isn’t it a good idea?" Paul smiled and kissed Kurt’s neck, a light touch of his lips, gentle hands on the hips.

Kurt bit his lip and shuddered.

"Okay…" he whispered and immediately felt Paul’s hand move to his ass and squeeze.

"Okay. You’ve had some experience, right?"

"Not really." Kurt looked down again. "Not much?"

"That’s even better." Paul smirked and kissed Kurt’s neck again before pushing him lightly on a bed. "I’ll go slowly."

Kurt sat on the bed and then lay down and closed his eyes as Paul kissed him and unzipped his pants.

"It’s gonna hurt, right?" he whispered in a shaking voice.

"I’m going to try make it not to." Paul stroked Kurt’s thigh and then slowly peeled off his pants before taking off his own along with his underwear. Kurt bit his lip and looked unsurely at Paul and then at his crotch.

"You’re big." he whispered with wide eyes.

"That I am." Paul chuckled and kissed Kurt, claiming his lips aggressively and sucking on his bottom lip. "You’re gonna love it."

Kurt nodded and opened his legs slowly, letting Paul fit between them. It was starting to feel like a routine by now and yet this one was different. He had to school his features, make sure his acting was on point every second and pretend he didn’t do it with other clients before. And he hasn’t that much, it was only a few times in the past months. But it already felt like routine and of course Kurt was hoping one day it wouldn’t, with someone he’d want to be but for now it was safe, it kept him from overthinking and it helped to escape. He gave Paul a small smile as his boxer briefs were taken off and whimpered when he was touched.

"It’s okay, you’re in good hands."

"Please be gentle?" Kurt whispered in a small voice and arched his back when Paul wrapped his hand around his cock.

"I will. I’ll make you feel good." he replied surely and then lined his cock up after lubing it up. Despite the whole innocent act he really did not want to have to bother with prepping so Kurt has done it, briefly, before coming to the hotel. Even so, when Paul pushed in he hissed because of pain. It was just a faint burn but it was enough to get a reaction out of him. It also fit his act as he looked down and closed his eyes, showing shyness.

"It hurts…" he whispered, not looking at Paul.

"It’ll go away in a second, sweetheart."

Kurt winced at the more brutal thrust. He was slowly adjusting but he still had to stay in a role even though it didn’t really hurt much anymore. Paul grunted and angled his hips making Kurt moan as his body spasmed after the cock inside hit his prostate. He looked up at Paul with wide eyes.

"What…?"

"It felt good, didn’t it?" Paul smiled and kissed Kurt, gently nudging his lip and a tongue, making Kurt open his mouth wider. He placed his hand on the back of Kurt’s neck and pulled him closer.

Kurt nodded and tried to reach his own cock, wanting the release to come already but Paul grabbed his hand gently and pinned it to the bed above Kurt’s head.

"No, I’ll take care of you." Paul whispered as Kurt moaned, sparks sent through his body with a change of an angle. And he did as he promised, reaching to stroke Kurt’s cock and making him whimper, his toes curling into the sheets. Paul grunted and thrust his hips faster one, two, three times and then he was coming, his hand on Kurt’s dick letting go. Kurt groaned and let his head fall on a pillows. He had to keep up his act and he couldn’t just finish by himself unless Paul decided to help him up with it. Which didn’t seem so.

Kurt closed his eyes and rolled on the bed, facing away from Paul, his waistcoat a little uncomfortable on his body even though his shirt was very soft. He hid his face in a pillow and bit his lip. Innocent, shy, tense.

"Carl…?" Paul touched his hip lightly.

"I’m okay…" Kurt whispered and closed his eyes. "I’m just a little sore."

"That’s normal, sweetheart." Paul kissed the back of his neck and then sat up. "And I really need to get going, it took us longer than I planned so… "

Kurt nodded and sat up slowly, stretching lazily as Paul got up and put on his pants and underwear back. It didn’t surprise him anymore when clients left in a hurry.

Paul took out his wallet and placed a few bills on the nightstand before leaving for the bathroom. Kurt rolled towards it and counted quickly and frowned. He put on his underwear and stood up.

"Hey, you are supposed to pay six hundred not five." he said to Paul dryly.

"Well, you didn’t come on time so I’m not really convinced by the young boy act. And you seemed a little scared, you, not the act."

Kurt rolled his eyes and leaned on a doorframe, his arms crossed at his chest. “It was an act. The one you’re supposed to pay six hundred for. And I’m not sure you’d want me to report you to my boss.”

Paul turned around from the mirror and stopped fixing his hair.

"Are you threatening me?" he asked in a low voice.

"I’m just saying. I work, you pay. And unless you can actually tell my supervisor that something went wrong, other than this poor excuse, then you need to pay the full sum."

"You little…" Paul took three steps toward Kurt but he was faster and pulled a pager out of his waistcoat pocket.

"This has an emergency option. If I push the button you’ll have around thirty seconds before someone gets here and you’re completely erased from the clients list. So, one hundred more by the time I have my pants back on or we’re done here. Completely done."

Kurt came back to the room and picked up his pants from the floor before putting them on quickly. He fixed his hair by the mirror in a dresser and made sure his outfit was wrinkles-less. By the time he was tightening his belt Paul was back in the room. He put one hundred dollar bill on the bed before leaving quickly. Kurt chuckled dryly and rolled his eyes. It wasn’t the first time it happened and it was hard to scare him really, by now. Clients didn’t want to risk being banned from the agency, only new ones even tried to threaten workers. The agency always had at least one bodyguard checked in on the floor and they would respond to the page immediately so there was no real danger. Kurt picked up the missing bill from the bed and left the room, taking an elevator downstairs. He checked out with the reception and left the hotel.

There weren’t any more clients to work with, there was nothing left so it was much earlier than usually when he left the place.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional warnings for discussion about cancer.  
> Aaaand first Blaine's appearance but definitely not the last one.

"Hey, dad."

"Hey, buddy, I can’t really talk for long right now."

"It’s okay. I just wanted to ask you to transfer only half of the money for rent, okay? I managed to save the other half, maybe next month I’ll pay the whole month by myself."

"Kurt, you really don’t have to…"

"I know. But I want to. I don’t want to keep you away from work, I’ll call tomorrow? Love you."

"Love ya."

Kurt disconnected and breathed out, relieved. He didn’t have time to explain, there was no time for Burt to start worrying. No overthinking and questions was really good. Kurt smiled and stood up from the couch, he was going to make a good dinner for himself and Rachel.

~*~

"Are you sure you don’t want to go to Lima? I think you could easily buy last-minute ticket with all the money you’ve been making lately." Rachel asked before she closed her suitcase.

"I’m good. I told you, they’re going to visit Carole’s family and I wanted to pay my half of the rent by myself. It’s Christmas, so good time to save money. No big deal, you go to your cruise, don’t worry." Kurt smiled and closed the oven. He was preparing chicken for his evening dinner so he could Skype with his family. They decided to show each others’ presents and then send them, just so, in some way, the tradition could be kept as Kurt got to buying presents too late to send them on time.

"I just don’t know why you wouldn’t go with me…" Rachel sighed and sat on the couch.

"Because I’m sure I’ll enjoy quiet time more. It’s nothing, don’t worry." Also the time between Christmas and New York was usually pretty busy for everyone staying in the city because of others taking break for vacation. Apparently clients didn’t really take those. But Kurt definitely couldn’t say that.  

Rachel nodded and went to open the door after someone knocked. Kurt sat down on the couch and pulled his legs under himself, closing his eyes. He had a few quiet days before there would be work every night and helping Isabelle during the day. A minute later, though, he was forced to look up as someone threw themselves at him, pushing him further into a couch.

"Wha…" he opened his eyes and saw black hair, little frame and, oh god, a bowtie somewhere in the mess of limbs. "Blaine, what are you doing here?" he frowned.

"I missed you and your dad said you’re not coming home. We decided to come here!" Blaine answered enthusiastically.

Kurt groaned and tried to move away from Blaine. “You? As two people?”

"Your dad and I. It was actually his idea to do this. Come on, say hello!" Blaine stood up and finally stopped crushing  Kurt. He bounced back to the door and helped Burt get the tree inside. Kurt rolled his eyes again and got up from the couch. He glanced at Rachel and frowned. "Did you know about it?" he asked quietly when walking past her.

"Not really." she whispered and smiled. She and Blaine took the tree from Burt as Kurt went to hug him.

"Hi, dad." he said quietly and leaned against him. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too buddy. And you didn’t seem to be in a hurry to visit home. So I decided to bring myself to you." Burt rubbed Kurt’s back.

"I’m glad…"

~*~

They were sitting in a diner down the street from a theatre. It was a little uncomfortable through the whole play, at least for Kurt, as Blaine kept trying to hold his hand and getting a little too close over and over again. But they were sitting on both sides of Burt and Kurt felt remotely safe for the first time in the evening. He was relieved and smiled at Burt.

"Kurt, this is actually why we came here. There’s something I have to tell you and figured it’d work better if I did it face to face." Burt started. Kurt dropped his fry and looked at him with worried expression.

"I really don’t like where this is going." he said quietly.

"I know. And you’re not going to like what I’ll tell you. I have prostate cancer."

Kurt felt like his life was ending. His dad was sick, his dad could die and there was nothing he could do to change it. He could lose his dad, his only parent and it felt like everything was about to end.

"Dad…" Kurt whispered in a weak voice.

"No, none of that. We caught it early, there is no spreading, I’m going to be fine. It has one hundred percent cure rate and I’m going to be completely fine once I go through chemo and radiation." Burt said firmly and reached for Kurt’s hand.

"You’re not a completely healthy person, you’ve had a heart attack, how many cancer patients went through that…"

"A heart attack requires check ups through the year but my heart is okay right now and I’m going to be just fine, I don’t need you to worry about me."

Kurt shook his head and inhaled deeply. “I just… I’m finally here, I’m finally where I want to be and I’m just… I want you to come to my graduation. I’m terrified you won’t be here…” his voice trembled.

"I’m going to be there, I will be there for you. Don’t worry, don’t worry about me, I promise I’ll be okay." Burt smiled and squeezed Kurt’s hand.

"How can you know that? I mean, I hope for the best but I’m terrified."

"I know, son. I understand that. I know you’re worried but I’m going to be okay." Burt said softly. Blaine hopped off the stool and came closer to Kurt.

"Hey, I’m going to help as much as I can, I promise to take care of Burt." he stood by Kurt and rubbed his shoulders.

"No, no!" Kurt stood up suddenly. "Don’t touch me, I don’t want you here!" he blurted out and took the step back.

"Kurt, what…?" Burt frowned at him.

"No, no. I just… What is he doing here?" Kurt asked in a shaky voice.

"I invited him. I thought it’d help with the news, you know, keeping someone you love close to you."

"I… Dad…" Kurt sighed heavily and shook his head.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, it’s okay, it’s okay." Kurt smiled and then looked at Blaine. "It’s just, I was confused. I just…"

"You’re shocked, right?" Blaine prompted with a small smile.

"Yeah, yeah, that, it’s been a long day, you know? I didn’t expect anyone here and this news…"

"It’s a lot to take, I know." Burt sighed and stood up to hug Kurt. "But I’ll be okay. Let’s get out of here. We can make some hot chocolate at your place."

~*~

Kurt took his time in the bathroom.  He had to prepare for work the next day, which he still didn’t know how to break down to his dad. He was working on Christmas evening, how does one explain it to the parent that came only to see them?

So he took his time, scrubbing and shaving, trying to focus on the task in hand and not Blaine waiting for him in bed. Because apparently sharing a bed was what normal ex-boyfriends do.

Kurt sighed frustratedly as he got out of the shower and dried himself with a towel. He didn’t have it in himself to tell his dad what happened with Blaine. He couldn’t just tell him that he still didn’t even forgive Blaine. It’d be too much stress so he had to pull through it. Pretend that they were fine and Blaine’s presence didn’t make him feel uncomfortable in his own apartment.

After putting on pyjamas Kurt left the bathroom quietly and went back to his room, hoping Blaine would be asleep by then. But he wasn’t and Kurt almost stepped back when he saw Blaine sitting on the bed and reading a book.

“Hey there.” the boy smiled.

“I thought you were asleep.” Kurt hummed and got under the covers after hanging a towel on the chair in the corner.

“Well, you were in the bathroom for so long I thought, too. But I wanted to talk about us.”

"There’s no us." Kurt replied dryly and turned off the bedside lamp.

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked in a hurt voice. "You said on Thanksgiving we’d talk about this."

"We will talk about it. But not about us, because we don’t have anything in common but the past anymore. So we can talk and we will talk, when we have some time. But there’s no us. And there won’t be any us anymore, I don’t want to be with you. I love you, god knows how much I do. I love you so much and I want to get over you. Because you hurt me and I don’t think you even realise how much." Kurt sighed and opened his eyes. "I don’t want to be with you."

"Kurt…" Blaine looked at him with a sad expression on his face.

"No, there’s no Kurting here, there’s no…" Kurt shook his head. "Not now. Maybe one day, maybe I’ll just manage to forgive you but for now I’m not there. I told you that on Thanksgiving."

"I know, I just thought… We were getting better."

"We are. I’m closer to forgiving than I was then. I work on it every single day." Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Then what’s the problem?" Blaine groaned and fell hard on the pillows.

"The problem is that I’m wasting energy on trying not to think about this, on trying to forgive you, I’m still wasting my energy on you and I don’t have a lot of energy, I don’t want to think about you every single day."

"We could just be together." Blaine murmured impatiently.

"But I don’t want that either, why don’t you get it?” Kurt sighed and closed his eyes. "I don’t want to be with you and I don’t want to waste my energy on you, I just want to close this chapter of my life and it feels like it’s not possible no matter how much I try. And I’m tired. I’m exhausted." he sat up and threw the covers off himself. "I’m going to sleep on a couch, okay? I need my mind clear."

Blaine groaned and shrugged. “If you need to then go ahead.”

"Okay." Kurt got up from the bed and left the room. He didn’t want to make Blaine sleep on the less than comfortable couch so he had to take it himself. Kurt went to the kitchen with a sigh and grabbed some juice from the fridge before getting on the couch and lying on his back. He stared at the ceiling with a sigh. Blaine came to get back together. Burt had cancer and all Blaine wanted from Kurt was a relationship. Forgiveness. His personal anchor back.

He wasn’t going to be one for Kurt, that was for sure. Because for someone to be a real support Kurt would have to trust them. And he still did not trust Blaine. He wanted to but it felt impossible. Especially now. So Kurt tried to think about good moments in their relationship to prepare himself for the conversation. He wanted to be more open for them both. Because he was going to need support in the next few months and maybe having Blaine on his side would be easier.

He sighed and rolled to his side. Why was forgiveness so difficult in this situation? Usually Kurt had no problems with granting it but being cheated on… It did feel worse than most of what people have done to him. And even months later it still hurt a lot.

Kurt closed his eyes and breathed slowly. He didn’t think falling asleep was possible when this upset without some help. Kurt tried to calm down for a few minutes but then he stood up and went to the bathroom quietly. He took the Ambien bottle from bathroom cabinet and popped one pill into his mouth, swallowing it dry before he went back to the bed and wrapped himself in a blanket, drifting off quickly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for Kurt's company to go home.

He was woken up by loud voices around him. He groaned and moved, not opening his eyes.

"I need some more sleep." he murmured quietly and covered his face with a pillow.

"Kurt, come on. We have so much to do today." Burt said cheerfully and tried to grab the pillow from Kurt.

"Dad, I’m tired…" he said softly and peeked from behind the pillow. "Please…"

"Buddy, we don’t have a lot of time." Burt sat on the chair by the couch.

"I know, it’s just…" Kurt put the pillow on the side and sat up with a whine. His head hurt and it felt like a bad morning already because of that. But he had to pull through it so he looked at Burt with a small smile.

"I know it’s difficult. It’s going to be a long day because what I told you is not easy but we have time together while I’m in New York and I really want to spend it with you."

"I know." Kurt stood up and stretched his back. "And I’m busy this evening so we should start on the day."

"You’re busy?" Burt looked disappointed.

"I know, dad. But I have work and I can’t cancel right now, I’m sorry." he headed to the bathroom to avoid seeing Burt disappointed. If he could have predicted that, he’d have taken the evening off.

He got in the shower quickly and relaxed under the spray of water. Lately it felt like only in the shower he was safe, otherwise there was always someone, something bothering him. Kurt groaned and leaned on the wall. His dad wasn’t a bother, he wasn’t a problem, it was ridiculous to think that.

Kurt turned off the tap and got out of the bathtub, rubbed his skin with a towel a little too harshly. He wasn’t angry, maybe a little disappointed with himself for an unnecessary thought.

He took his time pulling on clothes and fixing his hair before facing Burt and Blaine who were waiting by the table, eating breakfast.

"Here, join us." Blaine smiled and motioned around.

"In a minute, I need to grab something from my room." Kurt smiled and went to his bedroom. He needed to hide his pager and cash he kept on himself to avoid questions in case Blaine went through his stuff while he was absent. He put them in the handbag on his desk and went back to the common areas. He sat by the table and put some eggs on his plate. "So what’s the plan for today?"

"We’re going to a quick trip around the city and then grab some dinner before you head to work." Burt smiled ad Blaine bounced excitedly in his seat.

"Can I choose the place? For dinner, that is." Kurt asked after he swallowed.

"I made a reservation already. You’re gonna like it." Blaine said with a smile. Kurt winced and reached for a piece of bread.

"Okay, I’m just going to eat something light. I can’t get stuffed before work." he already made a note to get to a pharmacy. If he was going to eat right before work he had to make sure to take care of cleaning beforehand.

"Kurt, honey, you don’t need to diet." Blaine frowned and reached for Kurt’s hand which Kurt avoided by reaching for the juice box.

"I know that." he said with a smile and poured some into his glass. "But I don’t like to feel full at work, I’m moving around a lot and it’s really not comfortable."

"You do have a point." Burt admitted. "But make sure to take care of yourself, buddy."

"I do. I promise." Kurt said surely and finished his breakfast. "And I really need some coffee." he stood up and shook his head when Blaine tried to do the same. He could take care of his own coffee.

~*~

A few hours later after a long day of avoiding Blaine’s touch Kurt approached Andrew in a hotel lobby as he arrived for work.

"Hey." he mouthed and waited for Andrew to finish his phone call.

"Evening, Kurt. Is there anything you need?"

"Actually, yeah." he sat down on a couch. "I’m busy in half an hour I was just wondering, because my work is a short time one but…" he sighed and almost stood up. His request was ridiculous.

"Is it a problem? Do you want to switch, you said you wanted a lighter work today."

"I still do, I was just wondering if I could spend the rest of the night in the room." Kurt asked quietly.

Andrew raised his eyebrows.  ”You know the rules.”

"I do, I do…" Kurt stood up. "It was stupid to ask, I just figured since that room is paid for anyway I could try. I’m just going to get myself a room to move afterwards."

"Wait, you’re staying in a hotel?" Andrew raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, can’t go back to my place." Kurt took out his debit card, a new one, and went towards reception.

Andrew sighed and shook his head. Liking this kid was going to be the end of him. “Okay, stay in the room after work. But check out in the morning or you will pay. And next client will be for free.”

Kurt bit his lip and nodded, trying to hold in his smile.

"Now, go to work." Andrew said sternly and moved to the other side of the lobby as Kurt sat comfortably on the armchair by the assigned table.

~*~

Kurt sneaked into the apartment at 7 am before his dad and Blaine were up. He hopped into a shower and then went to his room and barely managed to stop the groan that threatened to slip itself out of his throat. Blaine didn’t get the idea and slept in Kurt’s bed which meant Kurt couldn’t get back there and hide for the rest of the day.

He rolled his eyes and looked back at the couch before deciding it wasn’t worth the back pain he’d feel in a few hours and quietly slipped into a bed, lying on the far end of it away from Blaine. He looked at his ex’s peaceful frame and sighed.

There was a time when they were in love and he did miss it on some days. But on other hand he just felt the pain from betrayal and the hurt coming with the break up. Blaine’s presence despite what he had thought when promising spending time on Christmas together only brought the second.

Kurt slowly fell asleep after turning his back to Blaine. He needed at least an hour or two more to feel more human when he was going to face a day.

~*~

“I saw you two slept together last night.”

“Yeah, I don’t know when he came back but when I woke up he was in bed.”

“So it’s going well, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

Kurt woke up to the conversation in the distance and winced. Good freaking morning. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. It was almost noon. He gasped and scrambled to get out of the bed almost falling as a result. He padded to the kitchen where Burt and Blaine were making what he suspected to be a lunch.

“I… Slept a lot.” he murmured instead of good morning. He needed coffee and to wake up to avoid headache and grumpiness for the rest of the day. It’s not like he didn’t like sleep and it’s not like it wasn’t needed sometimes but his body seemed to unable to take any more than six or seven hours tops without consequences. Ten was definitely  too much, he had to start the day immediately.

"You had a night shift it’s understandable." Blaine said with a smile. Kurt hummed and poured himself coffee.

"How was the match last night?" he asked politely and turned around with a smile.

"It was great, we had a lot of fun." Burt answered with a chuckle. "No one to read vogue not so secretly though. How was work?"

Kurt hummed and looked at his coffee for a few seconds, thinking of an answer and trying not to remember his last client. That would certainly make him blush in front of his dad. “It was busy but then we only had a few clients during the night so I rested some.”

"That’s good, buddy. Our plane back is in the evening so do you have to do anything before that?"

"Not really, do you?" Kurt smiled and sat down by the table.

"We could hang out in the loft if that’s okay? Spend time together in peace before we had back to Ohio." Burt proposed.

"That sounds good. Can I have some food?" Kurt replied and reached for the plate sitting by the end of the table and putting some salad on it.

"Don’t you want some breakfast food first?" Blaine asked with a smile.

"No, I’m good with lunch.” Kurt started eating while humming a song that has been in his head for hours.

"S&M, seriously? Rihanna?" Blaine chuckled into his cup of coffee. Kurt winced and stopped humming and ate in silence, avoiding Blaine and his dad’s eyes carefully.

~*~

Kurt drove them to an airport with the rental car his dad had gotten on the first day. He sent Burt inside while going to park a car. He had to talk to Blaine before they separated so as soon as the door was closed he looked at the mirror and sighed.

"I need you to stop pressuring me." he said firmly.

"I’m not trying to…" Blaine protested.

"I know or I try to know you’re not trying to do that. But I feel pressured and I’m tired of it, you know? I’m juggling work and an internship and I’m starting school in a few weeks I need my mind clear, I need focus and you’re not helping me." Kurt explained calmly as he got into the parking lot.

"You don’t want me to talk to you? Again?" Blaine frowned and looked at Kurt.

"I don’t want you to keep initiating contact. I’m not saying I want talk to you but I’m saying if I do it’ll be on my rules."

"This is unfair." he protested.

"Maybe. But those are my rules and if you don’t agree with me then maybe we should stop talking to each other at all." Kurt said firmly and parked the car. "Because if I see you again like this… I don’t know if I can handle this."

He got out of the car and started taking suitcases out of the trunk. Blaine joined him after a few seconds.

"Don’t lift this, it’s very heavy." he grabbed his own bag.

"I can handle heavy. I can handle a lot, I just don’t wish to handle some of it."

"Like me?" Blaine murmured sadly.

"Like you. Until I want to. Until I know I can do it. And then I’ll call you." Kurt closed the trunk and smiled sadly.

"Okay. That’s… It’s not going to be easy but I don’t have a choice, do I?"

"Not really, no." Kurt started rolling the suitcase behind him as he went into the airport. They found Burt quickly.

"No problems?" his dad asked

"Not at all. I’m gonna bring the car to the rental office after you go." Kurt promised and smiled as they walked to a check in. Blaine and Burt’s bags got weighed and checked in and they proceeded to the security line. "So this is it…" Kurt murmured sadly and bit his lip.

"This isn’t it. You have to visit more often. And there’s Shuester’s wedding soon, isn’t there?" Burt hugged Kurt tightly.

"There is. And I’m coming." Kurt said with a smile.

"I’ll book you a place ticket soon and send you the deeds.” Burt rubbed Kurt’s back.

Kurt shook his head and stepped back. “I’ll buy my own ticket, okay? I’m good with it.”

"Kurt, you don’t need too…" Burt protested quickly.

"But I want to." Kurt said firmly.

"I know you think we need help and we can’t handle it but Kurt, those times are over, we have two salaries from me and one from Carole. I know you don’t want to be a burden but you’re not one." Burt kissed Kurt’s forehead.

Kurt bit his lip and looked down. He knew they could handle it but he didn’t want them to have to. That’s why he got that job, that’s why in the nights he kept selling his body. He didn’t want Burt to have to worry about one more thing. Especially now that there were going to be bills from cancer treatment and his dad had to take more free time for it, as well. Adding extra stress from having to pay Kurt’s bills and buying everything he needed wasn’t going to help for sure. So Kurt had to continue working and therefore he could handle his own plane tickets.

"Let’s split then?" Kurt smiled.

"That we can do. Let me know when you’re booking it so I’ll send you money, okay?"

Kurt nodded and hugged Burt tightly. “I love you, dad.”

"I love you, too, son." Burt rubbed Kurt’s back and went to the security check, leaving the boys alone to talk.

"So… I’ll call you. I’ll remember to call you when I have time, I promise." Kurt said with a small smile.

"I’m sorry you’re still angry." Blaine said quietly.

"I know you are. And it may be unfair to still be so I’m sorry for that."

Blaine smiled sadly and took Kurt’s hand and squeezed it. “I can wait.”

"Don’t wait for me. Please, don’t do that at all. You can move on from me, I’m not everything. You can have everything you need and you don’t have to wait for me. You’re a great person." Kurt stroke Blaine’s hand with his thumb and smiled. "I want you to be happy."

"I want you to be happy, too." Blaine said in a shaky voice and pulled Kurt close, hugging him tightly. "You deserve to be happy."

Kurt smiled and stepped bad, kissing Blaine’s cheek. “Go, tiger, get through your security check before your plane leaves without you on board.”

Blaine nodded and then looked at Kurt before leaning close and kissing him gently. Kurt gasped and then was left alone when  Blaine went to security line. He stood there with wide eyes, breathing quickly. Blaine kissed him. Right after Kurt said he needed his space, he finally decided to speak up and that’s what happened. He shook his head and turned around, going to the exit before he broke into a run in a parking lot. He needed to get out, he had to leave. It was too hot and too dark he had to leave the airport. Kurt got into a car and drove out of the parking lot. He’d pay a little more for rental car but he had to do something before going back to the apartment and calm down. He drove to a high way and spent almost an hour driving around. Only then he felt calm enough to go to the rental office. Kurt parked by it and got out, taking all his belongings with him. It was a few blocks away from his apartment so he could just walk home.

He handed the keys back and paid for an extra hour before getting out and walking slowly home. He entered the empty apartment and sighed with a relief at the emptiness of it. No one to talk to, no one to have to explain that he had to work or didn’t have to work and why. He could just spend a silent evening with himself and maybe netflix. Or maybe just music and a glass of wine and, oh, maybe something to occupy himself with. Kurt smiled to his own mirror reflection.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of Adam in this chapter, I'm really excited about that!

It was a rush decision to invite Adam for a drink. Rachel was of course bugging him to do it daily but maybe he should have thought about it more. Dating when he was still working felt a little risky. All clients of a company were supposed to be clean, of course, but there was always a risk. And even the idea of having to tell someone felt scary. There was no chance he was going to date a guy without being honest but admitting he worked as a prostitute to someone he just met?

He sighed when putting on underwear after a shower. He looked at his body in a mirror and sighed again. He still had a faint bruise on his hip from one client squeezing it too hard. But there was no chance for Adam to see it after the date anyway, Kurt definitely was not going to sleep with Adam after a first date. Not that he wasn't attracted, there definitely was an attraction but he wanted more first. For them to get to know each other and for this to have a shot as a relationship not just a fling. 

Adam seemed like a great guy and the attraction was right there. So Kurt was going to take his time and slowly get to know Adam before he even thought about having sex. And he had to be honest. He would not expose someone he had a chance with to the danger of getting anything without even him knowing.  

Kurt touched his hip again. It didn't hurt anymore which made it slightly easier to walk and enjoy himself in the skinny jeans he put on. They were his favourite. Red and bright, making people pay attention and look at him even check out his ass sometimes. Not that he wanted Adam to check out his ass. Or maybe he did. Kurt chuckled to himself and shook his head. Being seen as a hot man was something completely new to him but very enjoyable. He touched his stomach next, touching his abs with his fingertips. Even having abs was a new thing, he used to be ashamed of his body but now it was toned and slim.

Kurt put on a white shirt and buttoned it slowly, not turning his eyes away from the mirror the whole time. He slipped the shirttail into the pants and smoothed the rest of shirt, making it look nice and presentable before he decided to add a black vest. It had a very nice, intense colour that worked well with the rest of an outfit. The contrast was really good, making his hips look slightly more prominent. 

"You can do this, Hummel." Kurt said to his own reflection and once again fixed his hair. He reached for the coat and carefully put it on, trying to avoid any wrinkles and then wrapped a nice red scarf against his neck that matched the pants before deciding that he was ready.

The trip to the cafe he and Adam chose was pretty short, at least compared to getting anywhere else. Half an hour wasn't that long anymore. In Lima that long commute used to feel like hell. In New York it was just a minor inconvenience by now. 

He almost missed his stop but by the time he was out and waiting Kurt realised that he was much too early. Fifteen minutes seemed slightly desperate, didn't it? Kurt cursed under his breath and shook his head at himself before entering the cafe. Since he was already the desperate child he could be one inside. Warm and safe.

Kurt raised eyebrows at the sight of Adam inside and smiled. So he wasn't the only one too early and too enthusiastic. Seeing as Adam already had a cup of coffee in front of him Kurt went to the counter.

"Hello, what can I get you?" the young barista asked with a wide smile.

"Hi, I'd like a non-fat mocha. Grande. Take away." Kurt replied in a slightly shaky voice. 

The barista charged him and went to prepare his coffee immediately. Kurt put the wallet back in his bag and went to pick up his coffee before slowly approaching Adam's table.

"Hello there." he said with a smile and sat down, startling Adam a little. 

"You're here already. I'm sorry, I didn't see you coming in." Adam smiled and put a book he was reading in his bag. 

“I figured since you had coffee already I’d get my own first.” Kurt smiled.

“Tea. And I arrived much too early to just sit around without nothing. Your paper cup... Are we going anywhere?” Adam asked.

“No, I’m just… I’m used to it, I didn’t even think about it." Kurt frowned and looked down at his coffee. It was a habit of his ever since McKinley times that he always took paper cups instead of regular mugs.

"Next time we'll have you try a normal cup. It's much more comfortable and very cozy if you ask me." Adam explained and pointed at his mug. 

Kurt chuckled and looked at him. 

"Tell me how you came up with an idea for Adam's Apples?" he asked.

"Oh, starting very dark." Adam joked and sat more comfortably. "Well, NYADA is really a lot like high school. Only people can be much more ignorant. I've been friends with a few of the current members and I'm privileged because I am doing acting as a major with musical theatre as a minor but they're not. They're all kind of backstage workers who enjoy what they're doing but who get either ignored or ridiculed. So I wasn't as shunned as they are but I wasn't the most popular kid either. I'm not stereotypical Broadway actor, really. So I had a group of "weird" friends and I felt slightly alienated and together we liked to hang out and sing and goof around. It was right there I just had to give it a name and meeting time. Which I did. And well the name is a joke and the time is whenever we can manage to reserve the auditorium first. But it is fun." Adam explained enthusiastically which made Kurt smile. He was always so full of energy and positive that it just felt good to be around him. It was refreshing. 

"I really like the group." Kurt admitted with a smile. "It's very... Different from what high school glee club was. But it's nice to be a part of something and surrounded by all this positive energy you have, it really makes my day."

"Your high school glee club wasn't like that?" Adam cocked his head to the side and watched Kurt curiously.

"It's complicated." Kurt laughed quietly and leaned against the table, his eyes squinting as he thought about New Directions. "They were cool but there was always some drama. There were fights, people being hurt and everything was just taken so seriously sometimes you just want something to be easy and fun and that was not always the case with them." 

"But you did like it?"

"I did, I met most of my friends there." Kurt bit his lip and looked down at his lap. That was where he also met Blaine. Maybe not exactly but if not New Directions he'd have never gone to Dalton. 

"Bad memories?" Adam asked gently. 

"It's complicated." Kurt said simply and looked up at Adam. "But it's the past. It's a story I may have to tell you some day. Not today though." 

"I will gladly listen to your story whenever you're ready." Adam assured Kurt. Then they changed the topic and chatted for some time until their drinks was finished and Kurt went for the refill. They stayed for some time more and then decided to go for a walk. 

For the first time in a few weeks Kurt felt carefree, he laughed a lot and simply enjoyed himself and the time spent with Adam. 

"So that's me." Adam smiled when they reached his block. It was across the street from NYADA campus. Kurt raised his eyebrows. 

"When you said it's a little way from the cafe I hoped for a longer walk." Kurt chuckled.

"Well, it's pretty close to the campus, it's a good location." Adam smiled sheepishly.

"You're a one lucky student." he smiled warmly and looked at their school building.

"That I am. It's very handy when I have break between classes. And you're invited any time. It's a popular Apples hangout spot."

"So your apartment isn't only your own. Tell me about it." Kurt chuckled bitterly.

"I can't say I do not enjoy it." Adam said softly. "Something tells me you don't like that kind of thing in your own place."

"I like my peace, not going to lie." he admitted.

Adam hummed and reached out, rubbing Kurt's shoulder. He reached out on instinct, without thinking, wanting to comfort someone he cared about, not thinking about anything more but he quickly realised when Kurt took a step away that maybe he crossed some boundaries. 

"I'm sorry." he said quickly. 

"It's... It's okay, I'm just not..." Kurt cleared his throat. "Can we..." he frowned.

Adam waited for Kurt to say what he wanted clearly, not putting any pressure on him. He already knew enough to realise there were some issues from the past and that pushing Kurt may ruin everything if he wasn't careful and delicate. And it was okay because he remembered himself after the big heartbreak and how careful and terrified he was.

Kurt bit his lip and looked up at the block and then at Adam and then across the street. 

"Could we find a place to talk?" he asked finally and blushed. Adam wanted to chuckle but he knew it could be taken as making fun of Kurt and he really did not wish that.

"Sure, we can come inside, if you want? There're probably tons of people making dinner at this time of a day but I have a separate room and we could have privacy." Adam motioned towards the building and smiled friendly. "We won't be alone so you don't have to be afraid but we will have an opportunity to talk." 

Kurt blushed and looked down. "I'm not afraid of you." he murmured.

"I know. Or at least I hope so. But it's okay to have doubts and it's okay to want to meet on a safe ground and ones apartment isn't usually that much of a neutral space. Except I can promise you mine is." 

"Okay, let's... Yeah, we can do that." Kurt took a deep calming breath and smiled shyly. "I'm sorry you must think I'm crazy." 

"I think you're a human." Adam replied without hesitation and opened the door, holding it for Kurt. "And we tend to scar after being hurt. It's nothing bad, it's normal to be cautious. It's normal when everything's okay. Even more when you're hurt. And definitely expected. Don't beat yourself up over it." 

They got into an elevator and Kurt stood in a corner, shielding himself with a handbag. Adam smiled and chose the right button, letting the door close. He was not going to invade Kurt's personal space more than he had to while they were stuck in a tiny space. 

They got into Adam's apartment in silence but as soon as they entered it they were surrounded by the mix of voices more and less enthusiastic, discussing something Kurt couldn't care about at the current moment. He smiled at the sight six or seven people who were squished in a tiny kitchen. 

"Hey guys." Adam said loudly to get their attention and immediately had a handful of a tiny girl in colourful dress.

He chuckled and smiled at Kurt who shrugged and went to say his hellos. They had time and the moment of intense insecurity passed. He could hang out with people who've been supporting him even since he came to NYADA. By the time they managed to escape the crowd and hide in Adam's room he’d found out there was a huge pot of pasta in the making, they were planning their new number and there was some new drama on the campus. When they went to Adam's room, they were followed by whistles and catcalls that weren't even stopped by Adam's glare.

"Sorry for them." Adam chuckled and closed the door behind them. 

"It's okay." Kurt smiled warmly. "They're very friendly, I'm sure it was no more than that." 

"It's wasn't."

"See, no harm." 

Adam smiled and motioned around. "So this is my room." 

"It's nice." Kurt said happily. The room was bright and tidy. The walls were full of pictures and Broadway posters nicely composed. All the books were in their what Kurt suspected were their places. The bed was made, covered with a nice black throw in. Even the desk was clean and that seemed to be unreachable for most of students Kurt had ever met, apart from him of course.

"I'm glad you like it." Adam took the hoodie that was thrown over the chair by a desk. "Here, you can sit." he said to Kurt with a smile.

"Oh, not letting me onto your bed?" Kurt joked. 

"Not until you want it." Adam replied smoothly and sat on the bed. "Oh, I'm a bad host, I didn't offer you any drink." He stood up suddenly.

"No, no, I'm good. We drank a lot already today already." Kurt protested softly.

"Are you sure? I've heard my tea is amazing." 

"I'm good." he assured and leaned against the chair. "I just wanted to talk." 

"So, let's talk." Adam sat back and smiled warmly.

Kurt inhaled and then looked up at Adam. He started playing with the edge of his sleeve. "I'm not sure if I want to be in a serious relationship right now." he admitted finally. "My past... My past wasn't much fun. I don't want to complain, I'm not really complaining, please don't think I am. But things that have happened in my life left me... I feel damaged. I know you're going to say I'm not but I feel broken. And I'm not really sure if this would be the right choice for me at this moment." 

"That's okay. If you don't want to do anything right now it's your choice and I won't question it." Adam replied politely. He wanted to try dating Kurt, really did. Ever since the Winter Showcase he was charmed. It was rare that newcomers in NYADA were this interesting. Not that freshmen were bad. It wasn't like Adam didn't like them, more of them didn't like him but he was used to it. It was that Kurt was simply interesting. His personality was striking and his talent was uncommon. The way he killed it when he was surprised by a performance he had to give. 

"It's not that I don't want to do anything." Kurt explained softly. "It's... I like you." 

"Glad, I like you, too." Adam said softly. 

"Then we agree on that." Kurt chuckled and rubbed his knee. "It's that... I want to give us a chance, I want to try and see how it goes if it's possible." 

"So you're not ready but you want to try." Adam said carefully.

"Could we try something more casual?" Kurt asked shyly and drew the knees to his chest. 

Adam looked at Kurt with raised eyebrows and then laughed. He actually laughed, not in a malignant way, not cruelly but he laughed and Kurt frowned and hugged his knees.

"I'm so sorry, I'm very sorry, Kurt. I'm not laughing at you, I promise." Adam explained when he calmed down. "It's just... I don't want to jump into engagement or marriage. I'm not going to ask you to move in immediately, I don't want to get you in bed." 

"Oh..." Kurt hid his face in his knees. "You must think I'm a freak." 

"No, I don't. I hope to find out who made you feel like this. One day. When you trust me enough." 

"I don't think... I don't think it's his fault, it can't be his fault, it's just how I am now." 

"Somehow I don't believe it." Adam replied softly. "It wouldn't be anything wrong if it was truth but I think you're more than just insecure."

Kurt sighed heavily and closed his eyes, his head still buried in his knees. "I have history, I do." 

"I know. Me too. We all do." Adam said surely.

"You seem like such a nice person." Kurt looked up and smiled at Adam shyly. "And I feel damaged." 

"You're not. You're having a hard time but you're not damaged." 

Kurt hummed and cocked his head to the side. "Did someone tell you that you're the nicest person in New York City?" 

"I'm sure that's not truth. But it's nice to hear anyway." Adam smiled. "So what's the plan for us? If there's any plan. Or any us."

"I want there to be us. I'm just not sure yet that I want to be us too seriously. Or exclusively." 

Adam hummed and leaned against the wall. "This makes sense. If that's what you want." 

"That's what I want." Kurt said firmly.

"Then that's what we can do exactly." 

"Okay then." Adam smiled warmly at Kurt.

"Are you okay with this?" Kurt asked unsurely and bit his lip.

"I'm okay with this."

"I just, I'm not sure I want to talk about boundaries right now, it's already a very serious and weird conversation."

"It's not a weird conversation. It's a normal conversation when you're starting a new relationship." Adam replied calmly. 

Kurt bit his lip and stood up. He slowly approached the bed and sat on the edge. "Is this okay?" 

"It's okay." Adam smiled warmly and reached for Kurt's hand, squeezing it. Kurt looked at their joint hands. "Is it okay for you?"

"Yes, it is. I'm sorry I freaked out downstairs."

"Don't apologise." Adam said quickly and squeezed Kurt's hand again. "There's nothing to apologise for." 

"Were have you been all my life?" Kurt asked and chuckled.

"Probably in England. Come on." Adam stood up and pulled Kurt gently to his feet. "We have pasta to steal."


	6. Chapter 6

It was their fifth date. Adam took Kurt to a restaurant for lunch after they were done with morning classes and were miraculously free for the rest of the day. It was rarely the case, usually their dates were a few hours squeezed into schedules between classes and work and everything that was happening all the time. But on Friday they managed to have the whole afternoon free to spend together. Adam waited for Kurt after dance class with coffee in his hand.

“Oh god, you’re a life saver.” Kurt said happily and kissed Adam’s cheek when stepping out of the door. “This was hell.” he whispered, well aware that Cassandra was close behind him. Adam chuckled and cooed with a smile.

“I survived I’m sure you’re going to survive the rest of the course. You’re better in dancing than me.” he said with a smile.

“I’m not, I really am not a good dancer.”

Adam hummed and nodded. “Do you want me to try this one again?”

Kurt shook his head with a smile. “Okay. Thank you.” he took the offered coffee and took a sip, moaning with pleasure at the milky, chocolate sweet taste of it. “It’s mocha, that’s amazing.”

“Fat though.“ Adam warned. "I know you like to get some chocolate after physical exercise. I figured you could use a sweet coffee instead. Healthier than chocolate. And better choice before lunch.”

Kurt hummed and smiled warmly. “That’s actually perfect. I never thought about it.”

“That’s why you have me here.”

Kurt smiled and took Adam’s hand, leading him out of the building. They held hands and they hugged, even cuddled each other but there was no actual kissing so far. It was not like Kurt didn’t want to but he wasn’t sure he was ready to make first step himself.

When they stepped outside Adam took a lead and led Kurt to a nice diner down the street. They entered it and only then separated their hands when they sat in a booth on two sides of the table. They ordered some water and garlic bread while they were looking through menu.

“I’m going to have a salad, number fifteen from the menu, please.” Kurt smiled at the waitress warmly when she came back to them.

“I’ll have cheese fries, thank you. Please make it double.” Adam smiled when the waitress nodded and left.

“Only fries?” Kurt raised his eyebrows.

“Only salad?” Adam mimicked his voice. Kurt blushed and looked down at his glass.

“I do like good salad.”

“I’m not hungry.” Adam said with a smile.

“Then we could have just grabbed coffee.” Kurt said quietly.

“Yeah but we had plans for lunch and fries are actually excellent here.” Adam chuckled. “Stop worrying, Kurt.” he said gently.

“Okay.” Kurt nodded and squeezed Adam’s hand.

“So, what was hell in class?”

“Oh, yeah. Cassie keeps calling me a skinny twink and suggesting I have some problem with eating. Which is fine, doesn’t she bully everyone?”

“Yeah, she called me an English muffin top.” Adam rolled his eyes with a smile. “Good times.”

“Yeah, so that’s, I guess it’s not that bad if she does it to everyone. But I am actually not a great dancer. I can follow routine very well but I can’t improvise. I’m not exactly… I look ridiculous if I try. So every time I try she makes fun of me. And since I’m already a class failure because I had been rejected once, well, you know, it’s not very common to be rejected so I’m an easy target.”

Adam winced and squeezed Kurt’s hand. "They have no right to judge.” he said quietly.

Kurt shrugged. “I’m not sure. You know, I did fail to get in. And they got in on their first try.”

“But they failed a class here. That’s why they’re repeating it.”

“Well, yeah. After getting in.” Kurt supplied bitterly.

“And then they got lazy and failed. Bigger shame in my opinion.”

Kurt smiled and bit his lip. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome. That’s just what I think.”

“Well, my point is, they don’t think that so they’re rude and they’re happy every time I fail. And since it’s Cassie she makes a big deal out of every single failure.”

Adam hummed and nodded.

“That’s NYADA for you. Crushing everyone else to feel better about themselves.” he said bitterly.

Kurt looked at Adam curiously. “You seem really unhappy about it.”

“I was treated badly and I admit, I may be a little bitter.” he replied.

“That’s okay. To be bitter.” Kurt moved his hand away from Adam’s when the waiter came back with their food. They thanked her and Kurt played with his salad, eating slowly.

“You do seem to have a lot of it in your life.” Adam said quietly.

“Sometimes it feels like I’m always expecting disappointment.” Kurt admitted quietly and popped a tomato into his mouth.

“I hope you soon won’t.”

Kurt smiled sadly and nodded. Maybe one day he’d be able to stop but it really didn’t seem like that. Every time something good happened bad news followed it immediately and crushed his spirit. He honestly was so tired of it. He wanted to be happy for a few uninterrupted minutes but apparently it wasn’t for him.

“Can we… Maybe talk about something less depressing?” he asked quietly.

Adam squinted his eyes, thinking about something obviously.

“Did I tell you about the new idea for a song for Apples?” he asked with a smile.

“I don’t think so? Nothing after Sondheim mash up, I believe.”

“There’s Valentine’s Day coming and we have a performance booked an evening before it. We make a rule of not spending it together and ditching out dates. But one of the bars in the neighbourhood wanted someone to help with entertainment for the evening.”

Kurt’s hand froze midway towards her mouth and his eyes widened.

“V-Valentine’s Day?” he stuttered out a question.

“Yes.” Adam replied calmly and smiled. “You know I don’t expect anything for it, right?”

“I… I actually.” Kurt closed his eyes and spoke in a trembling voice. “I planned to invite you for a trip to Lima. My old glee teacher is getting married and I wanted you to go with me.”

“Kurt, it’s in two weeks.” Adam frowned and sighed. “You… You didn’t say anything up until now and I already have plans.”

Kurt frowned and leaned against the booth wall. “I’m so stupid.” he murmured angrily. He didn’t even think of talking to Adam first because they weren’t really dating first and then when they finally started they were taking their time and setting boundaries. And now he was too late.

“You’re not stupid. You didn’t think it through and I wasn’t expecting anything… Well, I had some ideas but here and I’m not sure I can leave with you for the weekend.” Adam said calmly and reached for Kurt’s hand. He squeezed it and smiled warmly.

“I don’t know why I didn’t tell you earlier.” Kurt looked down. “I’m thoughtless sometimes.”

“Happens to the best of us.” Adam replied and stood up only to move to sit beside Kurt. “I’m sorry, I didn’t expect this and I’ll try to change plans.”

“No, no, I can face a wedding by myself, I was just thinking it’d be good time to introduce you to my friends from home, maybe. But I’m sure there’re going to be a lot of other occasions, you know?”

Adam frowned and wrapped an arm around Kurt’s back. They were supposed to move slowly but Kurt wanted to take him to Lima. If anyone asked Adam would admit it was a little bit confusing. But they could talk about that later, when they went home so he let it go for now.

“There will be a lot of opportunities, don’t worry.” Adam kissed Kurt’s temple while watching him carefully the whole time. He didn’t want to scare Kurt, again but Kurt leaned against Adam’s side.

“I’m thoughtless. And I probably ruined your plans.” Kurt murmured.

“No, it is okay.” Adam told him quickly. “We’ll manage to alter the performance if we can’t use your voice. It’s all okay.”

Kurt sighed and nodded, going silent for a few minutes while Adam watched him.   
“Are you okay?” he asked finally with a small smile.

“I’m thinking how stupid I was.” Kurt said quietly and shook his head when Adam opened his mouth. “No, I was being stupid thinking I can just tell you a week before the wedding.”

Adam sighed and slumped on his seat. “Okay, you’re right, it was a little naive of you.”

Kurt hummed and nodded. The thought of facing everyone again in Lima, alone, it was scary. He knew everyone in McKinley still believed in Kurt and Blaine being one and he still wasn’t ready to forgive. He just wished the rest of his friends understood it.

“Hey, let’s take it home.” Adam stood up and called the waitress that was serving them the whole time. “Can we have it packed for take away?”

“Sure, I’ll bring containers and the bill.” she smiled friendly and left their table.   
Kurt sighed sadly.

“I’m sorry, I’m such a buzzkill.”

“It’s okay.” Adam rubbed his back gently and smiled at the waitress when she came back. She packed their food and Adam paid the bill, ignoring Kurt’s quiet protest.

“Let’s go.” Adam smiled when he was handed bags with their food. He put them on the table and helped Kurt into a coat.

“Can we get some coffee?” Kurt asked quietly.

“I have a better idea. I’ll make you some in my apartment.” Adam smiled and took Kurt’s hand.

“Better idea?” Kurt raised his eyebrows and led them out of the diner.

“Mhm.” Adam smiled and let them upstairs when they reached his building. “So, you relax on the couch and I’ll go with my better idea, how is this?”

“Good, it’s good.” Kurt replied quietly. Being alone with Adam in the apartment, he felt a little unsure. What if they did move too fast after all? What if one of them regretted it and that was their last day tomorrow. Kurt snorted and shook his head. He was getting too dramatic.

After taking off his coat Kurt marched to the couch in the living room. He slumped on it and hugged a pillow to his chest. The date didn’t go as planned and it was his fault. Screwing up so early in a relationship, that wasn’t even that yet, was unacceptable. He sighed and then smiled when Adam brought two mugs with tea to the table.

“I do like this idea.” he said quietly and grabbed one of them when offered.

“I’m glad.” Adam hummed and sat down, keeping some distance from Kurt.

They spent the rest of the day making plans for before Kurt’s time in Lima and chatting about NYADA, drinking more tea and watching movies.

~*~

Kurt stirred awake and looked around, frowning before he realised where he was.

Right, in Adam’s apartment, they fell asleep cuddling while watching a movie and Adam invited Kurt to stay for the night when he woke up around midnight. They felt like making a big deal out of sleeping arrangement would be ridiculous after Kurt slept cuddled by Adam for four hours and slept together.

Kurt looked around and smiled at the sight of Adam. He was sleeping peacefully, even then smiling. His hair got a little messy overnight and he had to get too warm because covers were kicked to Kurt’s side. Which worked for Kurt as well. He kissed Adam’s forehead and stood up, padding to the bathroom. He had no shower supplies but he brushed his teeth and put the pants he wore last night back on. He definitely had some walk of shame to do to get back home, even though he didn’t drink anything, nor had sex with Adam the previous night.

Kurt frowned at the sight of his image in a mirror, with hair a little flat and wrinkled shirt. Definitely not Kurt Hummel anyone got to know. He reached to the shelf by the sink and found Adam’s shirt which he put on instead of his. It was a little too big but he tucked it into his pants and put on a vest he wore last night, happy with the effect. At least it looked better than the wrinkled outfit.

Kurt reached to the hair gel tube sitting by a sink and coiffed his hair, working on it until he was happy with an effect. Only then he went back to Adam’s room, smiling when he saw the other man awake.

“Hey.”

“Hello there.” Adam replied in a little raspy voice. “I see I let a thief into my house.” he joked.

“Oh, yeah…” Kurt blushed and looked down at his shirt. “I hope it’s okay? I’m not sure I can handle walking home in a shirt that looks wrinkled, I’d rather wear a shirt that looks stolen from someone bigger and hotter than me.”

Adam raised his eyebrows. “I’d like to meet that man.”

Kurt rolled his eyes and sat up on Adam’s desk, putting his sockless legs on the chair in front of him. “Well, you are in bed with him right now so I’m going to risk saying you know him pretty well.”

Adam chuckled and sat up, stretching his arms above the head. “Anywhere you have to be today?”

“Anywhere I don’t?” Kurt sighed tiredly. “I promised to help Isabelle with a photoshoot today and then I have to get to work for the night.”

“Awww, poor you.” cooed and Adam stood up. “I’m gonna go brush my teeth and then make your breakfast, okay?”

“I don’t think I have time for food.” Kurt replied sadly. He really wanted to stay with Adam for a few more hours but he was going to be busy the whole day and it’d be good to take care of himself first.

Adam yawned and nodded. “Well, I’ll just brush my teeth and walk you to the door. And you promise me to eat something on your way home?”

“I will.” Kurt chuckled and nodded. “Go ahead, cowboy.”

Adam smiled and went to the bathroom. Kurt hummed and looked around. Adam’s room was nice, it was always good when they stayed there alone. Apples were great to be around but peace was more needed lately. Kurt hopped off the desk and patted to the kitchen. He boiled some water and made Adam tea while waiting and smiled when the man found him there.

“Awww, you made tea.” Adam smiled and looked gratefully at Kurt.

“Only for you, mister. I’ve got to go.” Kurt replied smoothly and went to collect his bag, putting his socks on the way from there. In the hallway before Adam joined him he slipped his feet into shoes and put on a coat. Only then Adam came to the kitchen, carrying a travel mug.

“I’m going to lend it to you. Thought you could use some warm drink on the way to your flat.” Adam said with a smile. “It’s coffee. I know you prefer coffee in the mornings.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows and smiled. “You do know how to make man happy.”

“I try.” Adam chuckled and handed coffee to Kurt. “Promise me to take care of yourself today?”

“I will.” Kurt answered quietly and looked up at Adam. “I really have to go but I’ll call you before work, okay?”

“I’ll be waiting.” Adam promised and looked at Kurt, who stepped out of the apartment already. Only then he made a decision and leaned in, kissing Kurt chastely on the lips.

Kurt’s breath hitched at the touch that barely lasted a second and stopped himself from reaching for Adam when he stepped back. He touched his lips, letting himself linger by the doorway a minute longer and watch Adam go back into the apartment.

“I’ll see you soon, Kurt.”

~*~

“He kissed me!”

That was the first thing Kurt blurted out upon entering his flat. Rachel, who was sitting by the table and writing something in her notepad squealed and jumped up, throwing herself in Kurt’s arms while Santana rolled her eyes and went back to working on her nails.

“How was it?” Rachel asked excitedly.

“Good, good.” Kurt chuckled at her enthusiasm and took off his coat. “Too quick, maybe? Really innocent but it felt nice, you know? I was scared the whole I’d feel terrible kissing someone new after Blaine and that I’d not feel anything but it was just… It did feel right.”

“Hummel, you can’t be serious.” Santana said dryly and put the nail file on the table. “I mean, please tell me you’re not because I may actually consider moving out just so I can live with normal people.”

“What’s your problem, Santana?” Kurt asked sharply and crossed his arms on the chest.

“My problem is that once you were done with prince I’m-a-boring-nerd I thought you were going to live a little. A kiss? You’re dating a guy and you’re excited about a kiss?”

“We’re taking it slow.” Kurt said defensively.

“Oh, like, the slowest creatures in the world? I mean, you’ve been seeing that guy for a month.”

“Three weeks.”

“Whatever! I can’t believe you’re excited about a kiss, I mean, was that all you’ve ever done with the hobbit?” Santana rolled her eyes again.

“Not all but at first, yeah?”

“Wait, what?”

“We didn’t immediately go to bed. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Okay, not immediately but after a month? Two? You were probably already there with Blaine by a month.”

“A year more like it. And again, none of your business.” Kurt rolled his eyes back and started walking towards his room when Santana started laughing loudly.   
“What?” he snapped and turned around before going behind the privacy curtain.

“You’re not serious, right?”

Kurt hummed noncommittally, deciding it wasn’t worth discussing anymore. Santana didn’t treat him seriously no matter what he’d done. He closed the curtains and put his bag on the table by the wall before lying in bed. He never considered that maybe a month was indeed a long time. Or three weeks. The relationship with Blaine started from a kiss so Kurt had no idea how the timeline for relationship worked. Or if there was any but it seemed so since Santana was still laughing back in the living room.

Kurt closed his eyes and thought back about the kiss. It was barely there, the touch so light that Santana would probably refrain from even calling it a kiss. But Adam did kiss him and Kurt felt good about it.

After all the clients kisses he had thought that maybe kissing had lost any meaning but no, it was different with Adam. It was different than kissing people in work but also kissing Blaine. They never did this light, blink and you miss it touch. It was always bold gestures, heavy making out, kissing with or without a purpose but always less gently. And Kurt decided that he could get used to it. And it was a nice thought.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, life's gotten complicated. And Kurt's life is about to get really complicated, too...
> 
> This is the part I'm really excited about! Let me know what you think :)

Not saying anything when Brody moved in was hard enough. Kurt wasn’t ready to share an apartment with Rachel’s boyfriend but he decided maybe it was going to help her get back on her feet and he’d survive. That changed finally.

Kurt was cranky from not enough sleep and all he dreamt of was some coffee but they ran out and apparently no one thought to buy more so he settled with cereal for quick breakfast before going to school.

Halfway through his less than ideal meal Brody entered the room. Kurt looked up to say hello and his eyes widened. Brody was naked. And not naked by Rachel standards - in underwear or a towel - he was completely naked penis-in-front-of-Kurt’s-eyes nude.

“What?” Kurt looked at him. “You’re not serious.”

Brody raised his eyebrows. “Hello to you, too.”

“I’m so not saying hello to you until you put something on your ass.” Kurt moved the milk bottle on the table so it at least covered Brody. Partially.

“Well then you won’t say hello to me in the whole upcoming week.” Brody poured some milk into his bowl and put cereal in it.

“You’re not staying without clothes for a week. Not here. Not on my chairs.” Kurt snapped.

Brody sighed and rolled his eyes.

“I’m supporting Rachel. She made her choice and all I’m doing is showing her there’s nothing wrong with it.”

“What choice?” Kurt frowned and took a spoonful of his cereal.

“She wants to do a topless scene in one of senior’s projects.” Brody replied calmly. Kurt spit his cereal over the table.

“She what?”

“Dude, that’s gross.” Brody moved his bowl away from Kurt.

“She wants to do what?”

“She’s taking part in a senior project. It involves doing a topless scene and I’m being supportive.”

“You support this? For real?” Kurt dropped his spoon into the bowl with a loud bang.

“Don’t wake her up.” Brody hissed. “Yes. She wants this and I don’t want to discourage her.”

“You don’t think this is a bad idea? She wants to strip for a bad student’s movie.”

“I know, it’s risky. But who am I to judge her?” Brody shrugged.

“I’m not saying judge her but talking her out of this would be a great idea.” Kurt suggested gently.

“Okay, can we cut the crap here, Kurt? You have no place to talk here.”

“What do you… What?”

“Do you think I don’t know? You strip in front of strangers.”

“Shhhhh.” Kurt looked in Rachel’s room direction in panic. “You… What? What are you talking about?”

“Your work.” Brody answered simply. Kurt inhaled sharply and looked at him with wide eyes. This was not happening. Brody shouldn’t know, no one should know. And if he did everyone was going to find out and Kurt couldn’t have it. He couldn’t have his career ruined by something he did before it even started. He couldn’t take a shame of everyone knowing he was getting paid for sex. This just couldn’t happen to him. Kurt realised Brody was talking and looked at him.

“What?”

“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” Brody asked with a lopsided smile.

“I don’t care, you have no right. You can’t tell anyone.” Kurt murmured angrily. He was both mad and scared.

“Calm down, I’m not telling anyone.” Brody said calmly.

“How am I supposed to be sure of that?” Kurt rolled his eyes and stood up. He dropped the bowl into the sink.

“I haven’t told anyone, have I? That should be enough of a proof.”

“How long have you known then?” Kurt spun around and looked at Brody. He leaned on a counter and crossed his arms on his chest.

“Almost from the very beginning. Kurt…” Brody sighed and made a move to stand up.

“No, no, no, no, you don’t stand up, no more cock sighting for me.” Kurt protested with hands raised.

Brody chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Okay, I’m sitting. Let me get this straight. You can hide from everyone in the world but you cannot hide from your coworkers.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows. “You…?”

“Yeah, I do. And I won’t tell anyone.”

“You’re… Does Rachel know? Wait, of course she doesn’t because then I would know.” Kurt narrowed his eyes.

“She doesn’t. I will tell her but I’m not ready. And before you say anything? You didn’t tell Adam either, did you?”

Kurt groaned and closed his eyes. “This is unfair, I’m Rachel’s friend.”

“But you can’t tell her anything unless you want me to tell Adam.”

Kurt gasped and looked at him with wide eyes. “You wouldn’t.”

“I will. Unless you keep your mouth shut the way I do. Deal?”

Kurt sighed and slumped against the counter. He closed his eyes and shook his head. “God, this is mess, we’re a mess.”

“Welcome in New York.” Brody chuckled and nodded. “But my point here is, I don’t feel like I should judge her for her choice, you know? I’m doing something so much more intimate with strangers. She will just be topless in front of camera. So who am I to try talking her out of it?”

Kurt hummed and nodded slowly. “You do have a point. But I’m still worried about her. This may end badly and it may end badly soon. If faculty at NYADA don’t like the movie? If students make fun of her? She won’t take it lightly.”He hopped up on a counter. "I think I may have an idea though.”

“What is it?” Brody looked up and moved on a chair making Kurt groan.

“I’m going to call in some favours. And you are going to put on some pants.” he took the phone out of his pocket and texted Santana and Quinn. He needed some help and he needed it now.

~*~

The whole week after that was uneventful but busy for Kurt and before he could even think about what happened with Adam he was already on the plane to Lima.

Of course they’d met - there was an Apples rehearsal and one quick coffee date between classes but no kisses happened and Kurt felt like maybe Adam was regretting that already.

He only let himself think about it on a plane. It was almost two hours of nothing else to do so by the time they landed he felt like every single second was overanalysed in his mind and he’d decided that maybe a quick date between classes wasn’t a friendly enough environmental for a kiss and that’s why it didn’t happen.

With that in mind Kurt stood up as soon as they were allowed and reached for his overhead luggage, thanking himself quietly for an idea to sit on the back in an isle row. It meant no views but it also meant no waiting. And it wasn’t like Kurt was a big fan of heights. He smiled at the flight attendant, said goodbye to them and left the plane, quickly moving to collect his luggage. Flying wasn’t that bad but time spent after it on the airport while waiting for baggage was annoying.

After collecting his suitcase and putting laptop bag over it Kurt finally entered the waiting area. His face lit up at the sight of Burt as he rushed to him and immediately went for a hug.

“Dad…” he whispered and closed his eyes, letting himself lean on his dad completely for a second.

“Hey, son.” Burt wrapped his arms around Kurt in a hug and held him close. “How are you? How was your flight?”

“It was good.” Kurt replied distractedly as he stepped back to reach for his suitcase handle. “But more importantly how are you?”

“I’m good. And I’m a parent here.” he chuckled and led Kurt out of the airport. “There’s a surprise waiting for you in a car.”

Kurt quirked his eyebrow and looked curiously at Burt. “Is there?”

“Yeah. I think you’ll like it.”

They got into a car pretty quickly and Kurt had to stop for a second.

“You brought Blaine here?” he asked quietly and winced at disappointment in his voice. He didn’t need to worry his dad about this. Kurt and Blaine’s problems shouldn’t be a bother for Burt, especially not now.

“Yeah, I figured out it’d be a good welcome home present. Even though you’re staying only for a few days.”

Kurt smiled unsurely and nodded as Blaine got out of the car.

“Surprise!” he said happily.

Kurt stepped forward without any hesitation and hugged Blaine tightly.

“I’m glad you’re here.” he said loudly enough for Burt to hear and tried not to stare.

Blaine wasn’t the part of a plan. Spending time with him was not what Kurt wanted when he came home for a visit and to spend time with his dad. Of course he had known Blaine was unavoidable, they had mutual friends but for Burt to bring him again as a surprise. That Kurt didn’t expect.

“You don’t have school today?” he inquired and picked up his suitcase to put it in the trunk.

“I don’t. I mean, I finished for today already and glee rehearsal is canceled because mister Shue has something to finish.” Blaine answered smoothly and hopped towards the back door, opening it for Kurt.

“I’ll ride at the front.” Kurt said quickly and shrugged apologetically, expecting Blaine’s disappointment but instead he saw his face light up. “You know I hate riding in the back because it makes me sick.”

Kurt climbed on the passenger seat and frowned when he saw Burt getting in the back. He turned around, purposefully ignoring Blaine who got behind the wheel.

“Dad?”

Burt sighed and looked at Kurt as he turned around. “I’ve just got my most recent chemo dose, I wasn’t up for driving so far, I had to ask Blaine for help.”

Kurt frowned and undid his already fastened belt.

“I’ll sit with you then.” he awkwardly climbed through the middle of the car and fell on backseat beside his dad, ignoring Blaine’s disappointment. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have rented a car or asked Finn, or anyone, really.”

Kurt fastened his belt on the back as Blaine started the car.

“I don’t want you to worry, Kurt, it’s normal to feel weaker and sick after chemotherapy.” Burt smiled reassuringly.

“I know, I read that but just… You didn’t have to come, dad.” Kurt whispered.

“I wanted to. I missed you, you don’t come here often.”

“I know. I try to but school is very demanding. I barely have any free time.” Kurt closed his eyes and ignored Blaine’s humming. He just had to get through this car ride and they could separate again. Easy and simple.   
~*~

It’s not like Kurt hated Blaine. Or even disliked him. But it felt like he was trying to move on and the whole world was telling him not to. So that was probably why after the wedding and seeing Mister Mrs Shuester off to the airport he agreed to go to Scandals with Blaine.

Burt felt good despite treatment and he almost pushed Kurt out of the door to go have fun. So he did. Which was why he was dancing with Blaine, bodies close and touching, rubbing against each other.

It started innocently, one dance, then another and now they were pressed against each other, almost no room to breathe. But Kurt made it clear, even though his mind didn’t feel quite so, that this was nothing, this was just harmless fun. And for some reason he felt like repeating it as soon as Blaine’s lips touched is neck.

“This is just… We’re not together, remember?” he murmured and tried to look at Blaine.

“I know, it’s just for fun.” Blaine said quickly and suddenly there were lips on Kurt’s and he hummed happily and pulled Blaine closer by his hips, rocking against them.

“We should go to your place.” Kurt whispered into Blaine’s ear. Burt and Carole were at home so his own was out of question and Blaine’s parents usually gave them just enough privacy.

“Do you want to?” Blaine kissed his neck then sucked on it, knowing it was going to drive Kurt crazy.

“I want to. But you have to drive because I think I’m not… Yeah, you drive.” Kurt mumbled. He tried to focus but Blaine’s touch was driving him crazy and he felt too good to think. The nice buzz caused by the mix of alcohol and arousal was something he hadn’t known he’d missed but once it was back he didn’t want it to stop.

“Okay.” Blaine chuckled at happy happy sound Kurt made and took his hand, leading him out of the bar. Which turned out to be more problematic than he’d expected as Kurt was less steady on his feet than either of them had thought. Blaine wrapped an arm around Kurt’s waist once they passed the bouncer on their way out.

“I’m good, I’m okay.” Kurt mumbled and chuckled as he stumbled slightly.

“Sure, you are.” Blaine shook his head and led Kurt to the car, opening the passenger door for him. “I’m glad you warned me about your plans to drink so we don’t have to stay the night here.”

“I’m a responsible…” Kurt frowned at the slightly slurred word. “Yeah, I’m a grown up now. I had to tell.”

Blaine chuckled and kissed Kurt’s temple, helping him inside. He closed the door and got in on driver’s side. Kurt was humming happily and looking around.

“I hope you’re not going to puke.” Blaine murmured.

“No, I’m good.” Kurt said lightly and smiled. He put his hand on Blaine’s thigh, stroking it lightly.

“Okay, tiger but you have to let me drive if we want to get to my house safely.” he grabbed Kurt’s hand and squeezed it before putting it on his own thigh. “Do you think you can do it?”

“I can control myself.” Kurt murmured and smiled widely.

“Okay then.”

~*~

Kurt woke up with headache. Or he was actually woken up by the headache. He groaned and opened his eyes only to close them immediately. The light was too bright and make him feel nauseous. He hid his face in a pillow that smelled strangely.

Kurt tried to focus and remember what happened the night before. He went to Scandals with Blaine and got a few drinks and then they got home and… He groaned. He did sleep with Blaine. After all talk about getting over him, after being hurt and being sure he was moving on, Kurt slept with Blaine. He covered himself with the sheets just in time for someone to enter the room.

“Blaine, there’s…” he heard Blaine’s mom voice and groaned into a pillow as he felt Blaine sit up by his side.

“Mom…”

“I’m sorry, I thought you were alone…” she said apologetically.

“No, Kurt stayed overnight.” Blaine explained in a raspy voice.

“I’ll see you two downstairs for breakfast then?” Pam left the room, closing the door behind herself.

Kurt kept the sheets above his head when Blaine tried to push them down.

“Come on, I know you’re not sleeping, Kurt.” he said quietly.

Kurt shook his head and hid deeper. “I’m not up for breakfast. I’m not up for getting any food in, I’m more into getting it out.” he grumbled.

“You know… It’s not helping with a hangover to stay in bed. Come on, let’s get you up and in the shower.” Blaine pulled on the sheets and uncovered Kurt.

“I hate you.”

“You love me.” Blaine chuckled and kissed Kurt’s shoulder. Kurt frowned into a pillow and slowly sat up.

“I’m gonna shower now.” he sighed. “Can I borrow a t-shirt. Or do you have any of mine here?”

“I think I have something, hold on.” Blaine climbed out of the bed and went to his closet.

“Just put them on the bed, I’ll get it on when I’m done with a shower.” he wrapped some blankets around his waist and trotted to the bathroom. Once the door was locked he finally breathed in deeply. The morning just started and it was already a disaster. He slept with Blaine while already dating someone else, while being sure he moved on. It was never a plan so what was he thinking? Kurt hit his head against the door, just enough for it to hurt but not to hurt himself. Then he took another deep breath and went to shower. Shower usually helped.

As he scrubbed his body he realised it was not going to help that time. He could still feel himself open from what he did the night before and it wasn’t? Was it? It had to be the rest of lube, it had no chance to be… Kurt dropped the bar of soap from his hand. Blaine didn’t use protection. And Kurt was probably too drunk to remind him at that point.

Kurt rinsed himself quickly and jumped off the shower, throwing a towel around his hips and tying it quickly.

“Blaine?!” he burst into the room.

“What’s wron… Wow, you look hot.” Blaine hummed appreciatively.

“That’s not the point, you didn’t use a condom?” Kurt hissed at him.

“You didn’t notice last night?” he chuckled and put on a t-shirt. “I figured out it’s not a problem since we trust each other.”

“We trust each other? You had sex with a stranger, I don’t trust you!” Kurt snapped and shook his head. “You didn’t use a condom without checking it with me! What if I have an STD and you just didn’t ask?!”

“Do you?” Blaine’s eyes narrowed.

“Not that I know of but that’s not the point! You shouldn’t have just assumed I would be okay with it?!”

"Kurt, I mean, come on, this is not a big deal.”

“We had sex, that’s as a big of a deal as it is and for you to not use protection? When we’re not even together?!”

“Are you still, really, stubborn about that, Kurt?” Blaine asked in a quiet voice.

“I am and I made it pretty clear last night. I’m not getting back with you, I’m dating someone in New York. And now I don’t even want to look at you?!” Kurt said angrily and went back to the bathroom. He dried himself and quickly put on his pants from last night and came to the room shirtless to get a t-shirt prepared by Blaine.

"Kurt, I’m sorry about the condom but it’s no big deal. I’m clean, I swear.”

“Well it doesn’t matter.” Kurt put on the shirt and grabbed his bag from the chair someone threw it on the previous night. “I just… I don’t want to talk to you right now. And by that I mean I don’t want you to contact me until I let you know it’s okay. Because I’m angry and I’m hurt and I’m tired of being angry and hurt because of you.”

Kurt tried not to start crying in front of Blaine because that would be humiliating. So he needed to get out of there and do it fast. It was becoming too much, one minute he was sure it was a simple mistake and the next it became a huge trainwreck out of control.

Blaine looked at Kurt sadly and shook his head. “I understand, I’ll give you your space.”

“Where are my car keys?”

“You can’t drive in this state, Kurt.” Blaine sighed.

“What did I say about not talking to me?!” Kurt snapped.

“Okay, now you’re just being ridiculous. I don’t want you to crash your car and die, that’s not breaking your space bubble. I don’t want you to kill yourself!”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have exposed me to STDs after sleeping around.”

Blaine took a step back and his face fell. Kurt bit his lip and took a deep breath.

“Okay, I’m sorry, that was inappropriate and shouldn’t have happened. I just want to go home so let me do that.” Kurt noticed his keys on the chest-drawer and grabbed them. “I’m sorry, just… I can’t talk to you right now without yelling or being rude or… It doesn’t matter. I’m gonna go. And I’ll call you. When I’m ready.” he ignored whatever Blaine was saying and left, slamming the door behind himself.

He ran down the stairs and ignored Blaine’s mom. He put on his shoes and a coat before leaving the house without looking back once. He got into his cold car and only then he let his eyes fill with tears.

It was a mistake. He wanted to see if maybe sex still had any meaning for him, he wanted to see if maybe with Blaine it’d be different but at the end of the day he was as confused. Because Blaine turned out to be one of the people with whom sex didn’t matter. An ex who helped him get off but not someone he still really had feelings for. It didn’t feel special even though he was drunk out of his mind what he remembered didn’t feel any special. And it didn’t feel like love anymore at all.

So now he was in the middle of a mess and for what? Nothing. No special realisation, no miracle, not big lovers reconnecting. Just some kissing and then an orgasm. And dirtiness. That actually felt bad.

He wasn’t even sure if he should get back to work as soon as he was in New York. What if Blaine did have something and now Kurt was going to be sick. And tests couldn’t immediately detect infections. He had to talk to Andrew.

Kurt laughed at himself, talk to Andrew and say what? Sorry, I messed up with my health and now I can’t work because I felt the need to be boned by my ex high school boyfriend? He shook his head and groaned. This was not happening to him. Or wasn’t it really? Because bad things always seemed to.

Kurt managed to calm down after a few minutes and started the car. He played music loudly on his way home to stop himself from thinking too much. It took him one and a half plays of Wicked original cast album to reach his house. He grabbed the bag from the passenger’s seat and went inside.

“Hello!” Kurt called out and entered the kitchen after taking off his coat. Burt was inside, sipping coffee. "I hope it’s decaf, dad.“ he smiled and went immediately to medicine cabinet, taking two pills of Tylenol and swallowing it dry.

"Rough night, huh?” Burt asked and looked up at him. “I’m glad you at least remembered to let me know.”

“Sorry about that, I didn’t plan to stay out for the night, I would have warned before leaving.” Kurt sighed and poured himself a glass of water.

“I should get used to it. You’re a grown up now.”

Kurt chuckled and shook his head. If it was adulthood he was already tired of it.  
“I think I’m gonna go and take a nap, actually. My head hurts.” he finished his water and smiled.

“You’re drinking, huh?” Burt frowned and sighed.

“I don’t… I don’t really drink a lot, I don’t drink at all but… Last night was rough. Can we talk about it in the evening?”

Burt chuckled and shook his head. “I should make you suffer like a good father with a hungover son. But we’ll talk in the evening.”

Kurt groaned and stood up. “I really didn’t want you to see me like this, dad.”

“I know. Why do you think I was waiting for you?”

Kurt hummed, picked up his bag from the floor and left the kitchen. He climbed the stairs, said hello to Finn on his way and smiled apologetically as he entered his room. They needed some time together but Kurt really needed sleep first. He got into his old room and took off his pants before climbing into the bed. He sighed happily once he was in it. It took him a few minutes to fall asleep.   
~*~

Kurt woke up after a few hours of sleep, feeling much better. He was hungry and tired but not aching anymore. He got up and went to the shower, wanting to be back on his feet as soon as it was possible. He showered quickly and put on clean clothes. Slowly he went downstairs. Everyone seemed to be gone and it was good. He needed some time to himself to figure out what was he going to do about Blaine.

Kurt put water in a kettle for tea and went to make a sandwich. He was eating it when the front door opened. So much for time alone to think.

“We’re home!” Finn called from the hallway. Kurt chuckled and put the sandwich on a plate and stood up. He went to the hallway and stood in kitchen doorframe.

“Hello.” he smiled at Finn and his parents. He quickly went to Carole and took the grocery backs from her. “You went to do some shopping?”

“We’d have taken you but you didn’t seem up for it.” Burt boomed and went to the kitchen. He was the only one empty handed.

“Yeah, well. That happened.” Kurt murmured and put groceries on the kitchen counter. “But you shouldn’t get too tired with your chemo, too.”

“We didn’t let him overwork himself.” Carole entered the kitchen and looked at Kurt with a polite smile. She clearly didn’t appreciate Kurt’s suggestion that she and Finn didn’t take good care of Burt. But that was not what he meant so he sighed and smiled at her.

“I know, Carole. I’m sorry if I sounded like I doubted it. I just don’t want dad to…” he sighed. “He went to pick me up even though he was too tired, did’t he?”

“I’m here, you know.” Burt said and sat by the table. “And I’m fine. I was fine when I went to pick you up. I don’t want you to baby me, Kurt. You’re not here for that, you’re supposed to rest.”

Kurt hummed and took a banana off the bag before peeling the skin off and popping a piece in his mouth. He hopped on a counter and sighed.

“You are right. You’re a grown up and I’m just. I’m still scared, you know?” Kurt bit his lip and looked at Burt sadly. Carole looked at Finn who was about to enter the kitchen and shook her head. When he wanted to come in further she went to him and gently pushed him out of the kitchen, closing the door behind them both.

“I know you’re scared. But you’re not supposed to be the one to worry about me. I’m the parent here, you know?”

“You are a parent. But you’re also sick, dad.” Kurt said gently, put the banana aside before getting off the counter. He sat on a chair by Burt and took his hand.

“I know I’m sick. But I’m getting better. And much better.” Burt said firmly. “You need to stop worrying all the time. I know it’s hard. You are like your mom, you have to take care of everyone in your life. And I don’t need you to worry.”

Kurt sighed sadly. “I’m going to try to worry less. But I can’t stop altogether.”

“I know, son. I know you, remember?” Burt chuckled and squeezed Kurt’s hand. “And we really should talk about you.”

Kurt let go of Burt’s hand when he leaned on the back of his chair.

“That is really unnecessary, dad. I’m not getting drunk often, I’m barely drinking. I don’t need a lecture about this, I promise.”

“Maybe you don’t. I’m not planning to give you one. But are you being safe? Blaine didn’t drink, right?”

Kurt froze and looked at Burt.

“How do you know I spent the night with Blaine?” he asked sharply.

“You left the house with him. I may not be the most educated parent in the world but when you didn’t come back for the night, I knew what it meant.” Burt replied calmly.

Kurt sighed and bit his lip. “Well, it wasn’t a good idea anyway.”

Burt frowned and stood up to get a glass of water. He took his time pouring it before he came back to the table.

“You really regret that?” he asked carefully and looked at Kurt worriedly.

Kurt sighed and looked down. He didn’t have to worry his dad with that. He really shouldn’t.

“It’s okay, dad, it’s nothing.” he said surely and smiled.

“Kurt, cut this crap. What’s wrong?”

“Dad, it’s nothing.”

“Kurt.” Burt stared at Kurt sternly.

“I’m not with Blaine and I’m not planning to be so I think it was a mistake.” Kurt admitted finally and avoided looking at his dad.

“So, you did the opposite of what I warned you about.” Burt said calmly.

“No, no I didn’t. The first time I was intimate with Blaine? It was beautiful. It was the way you wanted it to be, I’m sure.” Kurt sighed softly and closed his eyes for a second. Everything since the break up was going against his dad’s advice and suddenly Kurt felt guilty. He took a sip of tea he had made earlier. “It’s just now it’s complicated. And I made a mistake but I’m not going to get too deeply into something I don’t want to get into this. And I’m not going to.”

Burt sighed and nodded, sipping his water.

“I just want you to be safe. I don’t want you to be heartbroken…” Kurt interrupted him with a bitter chuckle that made Burt looked at him, alarmed. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Nothing.” Kurt shook his head. “I’m not being hurt and I’m not heartbroken. I’m fine.”

Burt looked at Kurt for a minute and then nodded. He had no reason not to believe his son but he knew there was something under the mask of brave man in front of him. Kurt usually was a pretty quiet child and tried not to bother people with his presence. It had been like this ever since Elizabeth died and Burt never thought of it twice but suddenly it felt like, once again, he was missing a lot.

During Kurt’s junior year they were apart because of differences that still weren’t solved. Now it was just distance that separated them and it felt like Kurt was slipping away. Burt didn’t want it but he was also well aware of the fact that Kurt was a grown up now. And if it meant they needed time to adjust he had to let his son have it. So he didn’t push and didn’t make any comment, just simply stood up and looked at Kurt.

“Are you up for some Vogue reading while I watch the game?”

Kurt smiled and nodded. The hard part was over. Once again, he avoided the crisis. Felt like he was getting better and better in it.

“I’ll finish my sandwich later.” he grabbed a plate to put it into a fridge but Burt shook his head.

“I think Carole will handle one time on breaking the "no food in a living room” rule.“   
~*~

Reaching home was a relief. Not that Kurt didn’t enjoy shopping with his friends because he did, very much, but the whole day on his feet was not much of the rest he hoped to get in Lima. The sight of a police car parked on their side of the road though, ruined the moment. Kurt got out of the car quickly, not even caring to take the keys out of the ignition and ran to the house. He opened the front door and was immediately met by Burt who was pacing in the hallway.

“Dad, you okay?” he asked quickly. His dad didn’t look hurt so it was a relief.

“I’m okay.” Burt hugged him quickly. “I’m handling this.” he whispered before letting go and giving Kurt an opportunity to look around. There were two police officers standing nearby.

“I don’t… What? Handling what?”

“Kurt Hummel?” young woman asked calmly. Kurt frowned and nodded, not looking away from his father. “You’re under arrest for the assault and rape of Blaine Anderson.” she stepped close to Kurt and took out handcuffs. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?”

Kurt shook his head and looked at Burt with wide eyes, not understanding what was going on. He didn’t hurt Blaine, he didn’t do anything to Blaine.

“I don’t know what’s going on.” he whispered and looked at the police officer.

“Do you understand your rights?” she asked coldly.

“I… I do?” Kurt said unsurely.

The officer reached, grabbed his right forearm and cuffed his right wrist and then did the same with the left one, in front of Kurt.

Kurt looked at Burt and shook his head.

“I didn’t do anything, I didn’t hurt… I didn’t do that.” he said quietly in a shaky voice.

“Don’t talk to anyone without a lawyer. I’m going to get you one as soon as Melanie gets here.” Burt said calmly and grabbed a jacket from the hanger by the door and put it over Kurt’s handcuffed hands, covering them completely. “I don’t know what you did but we’ll talk about it later.”

“You…” Kurt didn’t budge when a police officer grabbed his arm and tried to lead him out of the house. He was confused and he needed to talk to his dad. He needed it to stop because it felt like a big joke and not a funny one.

“We don’t have time.” an officer said. “And if you cooperate it’ll be much easier.”

“Go.” Burt took a step to the side to get out of their way. “It’ll be okay.”

Kurt reacted to another tug and went with the officers but he felt like he was going to throw up. They were leading him, handcuffed, out of his own home to bring him somewhere, he had no idea where, because of a misunderstanding. They just needed to call Blaine and they’d find out nothing like that happened. Kurt tripped at the bottom of the stairs in front of the house, not really looking where he was going and off his usual balance because of handcuffs. Female officer gripped his upper arm tighter to prevent him from failing.

“Watch out, kid.” her parter said sharply as they led him to a car. The guy helped opened the door and helped Kurt inside, making sure he didn’t hit his head while the other officer sat on the driver’s side. Kurt slumped on the seat as the door was closed.

“You’re lucky he’s with me, you know.” the female officer spoke. “Because I hate kids like you.”

“I’m, what…?” he asked weakly and looked at her, scared.

“Spoiled idiots who drink too much and hurt people only to play innocent later.” she rolled her eyes and looked at her partner entering the car.

“Leave him alone.” he said sharply without looking at Kurt.

“I didn’t do anything.” Kurt whispered and closed his eyes. This was just a nightmare, nothing reeal and he just needed to wait until he woke up. Only usually in nightmares feelings weren’t this real and he wouldn’t feel sick to his stomach like that. Neither would he come up with an idea for this.

He groaned when he felt the car start, his stomach in knots.

“I need to…” he murmured and grabbed is stomach awkwardly with his hands. “I need to stop.”

“Sure, kid.” the officer said coldly while the one not driving looked at Kurt.   
“Are you going to barf?” he asked with a sigh.

Kurt looked at him and took a deep breath but he felt like it was really difficult. He shook his head. He wasn’t going to throw up but it felt like he couldn’t breathe. This was a mistake and he shouldn’t have been arrested. The word made breathing even more difficult and he whimpered as the police officer pulled to the side of the road without a comment but stayed inside while the other one got out and opened his door.

“You have to breathe. Calm down, breathe.” he said sharply and looked at Kurt. “Breathe, kid.”

Kurt shook his head and tried but it was too difficult, he felt like his throat was closing and he could only take short shallow breaths while trying not to choke. He shouldn’t be there, he wasn’t guilty, he didn’t do anything and everyone just went crazy and he was alone, even his dad didn’t believe him.

He heard police officers saying something but it wasn’t clear and he felt something put to his mouth that made breathing even harder and he tried to slow down but he couldn’t and everything went dark.

~*~


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for rape discussion and medical issues mentions

The first thing Kurt noticed upon waking up were strange voices surrounding him. He groaned at the ache in his chest and opened his eyes only to close them immediately because the light was blinding. He tried to cover his eyes but there was something keeping his wrist in place by his body. He winced in pain at the too energetic movement. 

"Mister Hummel, you're awake." 

Someone entered the room but Kurt didn't want to open his eyes. It was going to hurt again.

"Could you..." Kurt cleared his throat. His voice was weak and his throat hurt. "Could you turn down the light? It's too bright, please." 

"I think you'll survive." the woman said. "Open you eyes for me?" 

"Can't." Kurt murmured and shook his head. "I can't, it hurts, my head hurts." 

She huffed irritably and moved around the room. "Enough?" 

Kurt opened his eyes and blinked twice. 

"Yeah, it's good, thank you." he smiled at the tall woman who he assumed was a doctor. "My head hurts, I don't know what happened." 

"You had a panic attack in a police car." she replied dryly and flashed light into his eyes, checking his reflexes. 

"Oh god, that... That really happened?" Kurt asked quietly. "I don't understand." 

The doctor sighed and rolled her eyes. "You were arrested, well you still are. So that happened. You seem to be fine except for some troubles with breathing but they have no actual source in an illness. Once you can breathe properly on your own for a longer time you should be good to go. In two maybe three hours." 

Kurt gasped and tried to sit up. "I can't... I can't go." he whispered. "I can't go there. You can't let me go, I can't..." 

She closed the chart she was filling and looked at him. "You had a panic attack. If it was up to me you wouldn't even be here because all you needed was some air and maybe mild sedative." 

"I'm not going to be okay, I'm not... I can't go back in there." Kurt whispered in a scared voice.

"Well, you're going to." she said coldly and left him alone in the room. Kurt looked around at the empty room and swallowed heavily. Hospital still seemed better than jail. Not that either of them were a good options. He didn't even do anything, he was spending a great day with his friends only to be handcuffed a minute later. 

Speaking of handcuffed. Kurt looked down at his wrist that hurt slightly ever since he tried to sit up. It was handcuffed to the bed. He groaned and pushed the button on a remote that was in his hand. Once quickly then the second time after two minutes, pushing it for a little longer. The nurse came into his room after a while. She was smiling and she didn't seem as angry as the doctor was.

"I'm sorry I got a little busy in another room. I meant to check up on you but the doctor was here so I figured out you'd be okay for a few more minutes." she explained. "My name is Rose and I'll be the one you'll mostly have to deal with tomorrow." 

Kurt smiled weakly and nodded weakly. "I'm sorry to bother you." he said quietly and winced at his own voice, again. "I'm still... I still feel like I can't breathe properly." 

"Oh, that's... Let me look at your chart because I think, yes..." she smiled when she read what the doctor wrote. "You're getting an oxygen mask back for now and we'll see how it'll go with you." Rose came closer to the bed and connected the oxygen mask to the wall and put it over Kurt's mouth. "Okay, I'll write this down and you tell me if it gets any better." she smiled politely and started filling the chart.

Kurt closed his eyes and breathed slowly. In and out. He was going to be okay and the nurse was nice so maybe he wasn't completely screwed. 

"Rose... Can I call you that?" he asked quietly. 

"Sure, honey. What's wrong?" she looked up at him and smiled.

"Can I get a different doctor?" 

Rose frowned and closed the chart. "It's a night shift so it may be difficult. I can ask but there are not a lot of doctors here at this time." she explained with an apologetic smile.

"She wants to discharge me and I can't..." Kurt breathed in and looked at her. "I still can't breathe and... I can't go to jail, I didn't do anything." 

Rose sighed and nodded. "Okay, I see. I'm not sure..." she sighed again and shook her head. "You deserve a proper care and if a doctor refuses to give it to you we'll need to find you a new doctor." 

Kurt smiled at her sadly. "You don't believe me..." he whispered hoarsely.

"It doesn't matter. You're my patient. I'm going to treat you the best I can." Rose said gently and put the chart by Kurt's bed. "It doesn't matter what I think." 

"You're the only nice person here. It does." Kurt murmured and breathed in deeply, feeling his lungs burn.

She sighed and looked at him. 

"I'm going to go check my other patients and find you a doctor. You don't stress yourself, okay?" Rose said kindly and left the room. She sighed and looked back at the room to Kurt's door. Treating patients brought by police was usually difficult especially in cases like that. But she was a nurse and Kurt needed help so she had to make sure he had the best one he could. She sighed and nodded at the police officer by the door. 

"He's safe to be alone right now. I'll just go find him a new doctor." she explained gently.

"Does he need a new doctor?" the young police officer asked. Rose could remember her being the one bringing Kurt to the hospital.

"He does." she didn't explain further and left to take care of other patients.

  
~*~ 

"I was reassigned from room thirty two at patient's request?" the doctor threw a chart into the desk by nurse's station. Rose sighed and looked at her.

"He asked for someone else. I'm sorry, I had to follow patient's wish." 

"Rapists wish?" she raised her eyebrows.

"Patient's wish. What he did before he came here is none of my concern, doctor Dimare." Rose replied patiently and took the chart. 

"He's a rapist, that's who he is. I didn't authorise this change." 

"When a patient wants to have a new doctor because of whatever reason that's their choice and I cannot argue with this." 

The doctor huffed angrily and turned around to leave. After a few minutes an older man came to the desk.

"I'm looking for Kurt Hummel." he said quickly and looked around. "Which room is he in?" 

"Kurt..." Rose looked down at the charts and sighed. "Ah, yes. You're family?" 

"Yes, I'm his father." 

"Sir, I'm not sure I can really let you in into his room. You'll need to talk to a police officer who brought him here. He's still technically in custody." she explained in a calm voice.

"I need to talk to him. What happened?" 

"I cannot give you this information without his consent. I'll talk to a doctor and you'll have to talk to a police officer." she motioned at the woman standing by Kurt's room to come close.

~*~ 

Kurt was dozing off after seeing a new doctor who was much nicer than the first one when someone entered his room. He opened his eyes and blinked. 

"Dad?" 

"Kurt..." Burt was frowning. Kurt wasn't sure if it was worry or anger. "What the hell did you do?" 

Kurt sighed sadly and reached to take off his oxygen mask with his free hand. "I didn't..." 

Burt shook his head and sat on a chair by the bed. "I know you didn't. I'm asking what did happen. I shouldn't but I know what Blaine said and it's really not good, kiddo. So I need to know what happened there."

Kurt tried to say something but he started coughing. He reached to the oxygen mask and put it back over his mouth. 

"I slept with Blaine." he murmured and winced at Burt's face. "You asked. And that's all that happened. I don't even know what he's talking about." 

"Kurt, he's in this hospital and he's pretty bruised up."

"He wasn't when I left his house yesterday morning. I didn't do any of this. They should just run a rape kit on him and see I didn't." 

Burt looked up at the door, making sure it was closed and no one was listening and then looked back at Kurt seriously.

"They did."

"So I can go home?" Kurt asked with relief. Burt cleared his throat.

"It indicated someone hurt him." he said quietly.

"Well, that wasn't me! I didn't..." Kurt started coughing again. Burt looked at him worriedly and grabbed a remote to call the nurse. "No, I'm okay..." he coughed again. 

"You're not." 

Kurt sighed and leaned on a pillow, closing his eyes. 

"There's no other way to say it. It's impossible because I never, ever..." he sighed frustratedly. "I never even did it to him. I don't..." 

"Okay, okay, okay, I think I get it. But if you don't... What happened?" Burt asked patiently. The whole story didn't make sense. He was expecting for Blaine to overreact but if what Kurt was saying was also true his lab results made absolutely no sense. Someone had to lie and he really didn't know what to think about it.

"I don't know, dad. I'm tired..."  Kurt murmured and closed his eyes. 

"I know. I want to help you. I want you to come home as soon as it's possible but you just need to help me out. Everything is at stake here.” Burt explained seriously. He already started trying to get Kurt out of it but it wasn't easy. Sexual assault charges weren't easy to get overlooked nor in his opinion they should be but it was hard to believe Kurt really did anything. They might have grown apart in the previous few months but Burt still knew his son and Kurt wasn't the one to hurt Blaine, or anyone, in that way. 

"I got drunk. In a gay bar with Blaine. We went to his place, we had sex, I only remember some details but I definitely... I don't... I didn't do it. I don't remember everything, I was drunk and if anything, he used me there, dad. I didn't... I didn't rape Blaine." Kurt whispered, pushing his mask down to his neck. 

Burt nodded and squeezed Kurt's hand. "I know, Kurt. I just... I'm going to get you out of this, I promise." 

Kurt closed his eyes. "I'm really tired, dad. The doctor said I can stay here for the night. Can we talk later?" 

Burt sighed and reached to Kurt's mask.

"Put it back, kiddo. I heard your panic attack was pretty severe, you need to get better." 

"I love you dad. I didn't hurt Blaine." he whispered and slowly dozed off.


	9. Chapter 9

Despite his promise to talk to Burt later Kurt slept through the whole night. He was woken up by doctors who came to his room for rounds. The first one entered his room and hit the side of his bed.

"Wake up!" he commanded and rolled his eyes when it took Kurt a few seconds to open his eyes, look around and figure out what was happening. 

One of the nurses took a chart.

"Kurt Hummel, nineteen admitted from ER after a panic attack while in police custody. Observation overnight showed no signs of further problems. He received oxygen for three hours after arrival until regaining consciousness and then further through the night up until 3 am. Ever since he's been breathing fine. His labs are normal." 

One of the doctors checked his breath sounds and reported them as normal and they decided quickly that he was going to be discharged by noon. Kurt didn't try to ask questions as the doctors seemed irritated enough. Kurt was scared. Being treated like that felt terrible. Not that he could really blame them, it wasn't their fault, they were lied to. But it still felt unfair because he was just a patient. And they treated him like an enemy.

After they left it only took a few minutes though before Burt entered the room and Kurt was still trying not to cry, He knew it was childish but hospitals were one of his worst nightmares ever since his mom's accident and now somehow they got even worse. 

And not being able to look at anyone and feel like they were on his side? It felt terrible.

"Hey, kiddo. I brought you some coffee. Doctors said you're okay to drink it and I managed to convince police officers it's not going to help you get out of here. I'm sure they thought I had a key to your handcuffs in a coffee cup." Burt joked. His way of dealing with troubles. Clearly where Kurt got his habit of doing the same from. 

"Thank you." he smiled sadly and cleared his throat, not liking how shaky his voice was.

"They still don't know you'e getting out of here." Burt gave Kurt a cup, making sure Kurt was able to hold it with his free hand.

"Wait, what?" Kurt looked up hopefully. He wasn't sure drinking coffee before eating anything was a good idea so he just held the cup. 

"You're getting out of here. When they discharge you I'm taking you home. There’ll be a hearing but you're be a free person when you get to it. And in the worst case scenario you'll get out of this with some fine and a restraining order." Burt explained and sat by the bed. 

"It's it... I mean, it's a sexual assault. How is this possible?" he asked quietly. 

Burt sighed and glanced at the door. "I'm a congressman, I can make things happen. Hopefully your charges will be dropped..." 

"No, dad, no." Kurt interrupted him. "I don't want this, I want to be cleared legally and openly I don't want to use you because you're a politician." 

"No, you have to listen to me. You will use this." Burt sighed and took Kurt's handcuffed hand. "You'll do everything as I say because I do believe you. But as far as I know... No one else is going to believe you. I don't know how Blaine did it and I don't know why he did. But he has everything he needs to get you thrown into jail. He's beaten up, he had a rape kit performed but no DNA was found so they assumed someone used protection.” 

Kurt bit his lip. "This is not happening." he whispered weakly.

"I know." 

"No, you don't. You so don't." Kurt laughed sadly and shook his head. "Blaine didn't use a condom. If he tried to do it... He knew he didn't, this is bullshit!" 

"It is. But I don't want to try our luck here. There's a big chance they'll throw you into jail if we don't do this the illegal way. And that will certainly ruin your future." 

Kurt looked at Burt and bit his lip. He had to get out of this and there was apparently no way to do it without using his dad's connections. 

"Okay. It's just so unfair." Kurt murmured angrily. Burt squeezed his hand and stroked his knuckles with his thumb. 

"I know. But you're going to be okay. You won't be able to get close to Blaine anytime soon but I doubt it'll be a problem." 

"If he gets close to me I'll just punch him!" Kurt said angrily. 

"You won't do such thing, Kurt." Burt sighed and squeezed his hand.

"I know, I know. It's just, I'm so angry, dad. I didn't do anything wrong, I mean I did get drunk, it was stupid. But I didn't hurt Blaine, I swear." 

"I know, son." 

~*~ 

It took a few hours before Kurt was discharged. The doctor prescribed him anti-anxiety medication just in case a panic attack happened again but other than that hewas free to go by noon. Kurt was finishing changing when Burt entered the room. 

"Oh, I'll come back in a minute." 

"No, it's okay, I'm done." Kurt zipped his pants and smiled sadly. He tried for it to be honest but it was quite difficult. There was a police officer in the room while he was changing because they had to take off his handcuffs. As if he was going to hurt anyone inside of his hospital room. It was making Kurt both angry and bitter. He had to strip in front of a police officer because he was arrested. It was one of the most humiliating experiences he’d ever had and he spent half of his high school years in a trash cans so that said something.

"Mister Hummel, your hands." the officer said quickly as Kurt was done changing. 

He sighed and turned around to face him and stretched his hands in front of him. Burt turned his back to Kurt, he really didn't want to look at this.

Kurt bit his lip and closed his eyes as handcuffs were closed around his wrists. 

"We're ready to go." police officer said quietly.  

"Wait, I thought..." Kurt snapped his eyes open and looked at Burt. "What's going on?" 

"You have to go to the police station with us. We can't release you in a hospital." the officer replied calmly. 

"No, No, I'm not. Dad, you said I can get home from here. I can't go to the police station, I can't go, no..." Kurt murmured and tried to get close to Burt, fighting police officer's grip on his shoulder.

"Kurt, no, stay where you are." Burt said quickly and came close. "You need to breathe, buddy. You can't just try to move away from this man. I know it's hard and I know you don't deserve this but you really need to go with what they say. You don't want to get in more trouble, Kurt. Breathe." 

Kurt whimpered and leaned into his dad's body. "Okay, you're okay, buddy." Burt wrapped his arms around Kurt and hugged him, rubbing his back. "Breathe in and out with me, okay? We don't want you to stay here for much longer, right? You should come home today and if you calm down it'll be an hour with police and you're free. You're going to be okay." 

Kurt did manage to calm down and breathed slowly before taking a step back. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this all to happen." 

"I know that. Now you have to go to the nurse's station to get discharged. And then we'll meet at the police station I'll pick you up." 

Kurt nodded and sighed as he went with the police officer to the nurse's station. Rose was there, again and she smiled at Kurt. 

"I have your discharge papers, medication and a wheelchair for you here. You're good to go." she said warmly and handed him papers and a bottle with pills and motioned to a wheelchair. 

"I can walk." Kurt protested weakly but it only made her smile. 

"You can't. Hospital regulations." she chuckled and motioned at the wheelchair again. "Hop in, I'll push you since your hands are occupied." 

Kurt sighed and sat down. She looked around quickly and took a blanket from the shelf by the wall. She covered his legs and his hands. Kurt smiled at her gratefully. 

"Thank you." 

"You're welcome honey. You got the instructions on how to take your medication?" she asked gently as she started pushing the wheelchair. The police officer just followed them quietly. 

"Yes, in case of a panic attack if I start having troubles again. But it's never happened before so I don't think it will now." Kurt shrugged.

"You're about to get through a really difficult time. And there's no shame in being scared." Kurt nodded and sighed quietly as they got outside. It was much colder and suddenly he was grateful for a blanket covering him not only for privacy. 

"I know no one told you that but I think you should considering talking to someone. This is going to be difficult time and sometimes friends are not enough. Nor is family. And that's okay because sometimes life can be overwhelming. No matter what happened, no matter who's guilty here you need to take care of yourself." she gave Kurt a small smile while they got to the police car. 

"I'll take it from here." the police officer said. He helped Kurt up and to the car then talked to the nurse briefly about the instructions before joining his partner in front of the car. 

"You have to give me your medicine. We can't have you carrying it." 

Kurt raised his eyebrows and reached to them, handing the pills. 

"I don't need them now anyway." he murmured and leaned on a seat. 

"You're not going to panic this time?" she asked with a smile. Kurt groaned and shook his head. It's not like they cared, they were just irritated because he caused them trouble. He sighed and closed his eyes. It was easier to ignore everything than focus on what was happening around him.  He started humming quietly to make it easier for himself while the police officers chatted in the front. He only looked up when the car stopped. 

Despite his fear no one was waiting there. So maybe no one knew. Maybe there was chance Kurt was going to keep it quiet. He got out of the car with police officer's help and got walked inside. He kept quiet the whole time as he was walked into the station and as he was practically handed over to another officer. He only looked at them once he was walked into a cell and took off his handcuffs.

"Is my dad here?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Not yet. There's no bail paid so you'll stay here until he gets here with your lawyer." 

"Great." he huffed and sat on the bench by the wall, drawing his knees to the chin. He was up for long wait.


	10. Chapter 10

The text from an anonymous number that Blaine got was a surprise. He was sulking in bed, refusing to let his parents into his room ever since Kurt left. The text only included a link and once he clicked it he could see a website of escort agency. 

Pretty sure it was just another joke either by some homophobic asshole from school or his fellow glee clubbers he almost closed it when one thing drew his attention. The man in the picture had a small scar right above the waistline of his pants. Kurt had a scar like that and it made Blaine look closely. 

The picture was pretty simple. Shirtless guy standing in some room, his face hidden. Nothing that would draw Blaine’s attention if it wasn’t for that scar on one hip. Once he paid attention to it everything was more familiar. Freckles on the shoulders of the man, paleness, even chestnut hair. It looked so much like Kurt. 

Blaine started reading the description and groaned. It was Kurt, wasn’t it? Young, available at evening hours and weekends, interested in music and fashion. It was vague enough so no one should recognise who it was but for Blaine it was glaring. 

Despite the shock that made him freeze and try to find reasons why it couldn’t be Kurt he remembered Christmas and Kurt avoiding eating too much then showing up in the morning already showered and fresh when after diner work he should be tired, right? 

Blaine shook his head and threw the phone on the bed before going to the bathroom. If Kurt could sleep around so could he and he certainly was planning to. At least he didn't get paid for it. He wasn't a whore.

~*~

Blaine spent a pretty good night with someone he found in Scandals after he made sure the guy was still in closet and was not going to tell anyone. He didn't need rumours. Especially not after the way he spent the night. 

He didn't know this back when he was with Kurt but Blaine sometimes just liked being treated roughly in bed and more guys than not liked to help him with that. He always made sure they knew any marks should be possible to cover the next day. 

Though Blaine didn't remember getting back home when he woke up he certainly remembered the moment the guy, Mark?, decided to slap him. He did protest afterwards not because of pain but bruises he knew would appear later but for that one it was too late. So when Blaine went to brush his teeth he groaned at the big angry bruise on his face. He needed to make an excuse and now but more than that he needed coffee. And his phone, which he totally forgot about the day before. 

Blaine went back to his room and tried to search through his sheets but when he bent to do that he felt sharp pain in his chest. 

"Oh wow, this is not good." he murmured to himself and straightened up. Okay, standing up helped. Maybe lying down would, too. Maybe he could get away with moping for the day and asking his parents for help. Blaine got back under the sheets and call out to his mom. 

Pam came upstairs after a few minutes and gasped when she saw her son. "Blaine?" 

"It's nothing, mom, I was just wondering..." 

"Yeah, so was I..." she interrupted. "The whole sneaking out thing with Kurt? I mean, you could just simply say where you were going.”

"Mom, what are you talking about?" Blaine frowned and looked at her tiredly.

“I’m just saying, you are still in high school and ruining your future because of a boyfriend that may not be there in a few days, is not worth it. Saturday was fine but yesterday was a school night.”

Blaine groaned and shook his head. "Mom, It’s just one day. I have perfect attendance.” he said irritably.

“So it’s time to ruin it?” Pam crossed her arms on the chest.

“I just wanted to have a fun and then yesterday and this morning I didn’t feel well.“ 

“Next time think before doing something that makes you feel sick for two days. I mean if sleeping with Kurt wore you out for two days maybe next time you have to think twice before agreeing to this.” 

Blaine looked at his mom. She was pissed, he could clearly see that, he wasn't getting out of it, unless he just told her...

"He forced me." Blaine blurted out before he could make up his mind. The change in his mom's behaviour was immediate. She dropped her hands from her chest and got close to the bed in three steps. Her face now concerned not angry.

"He did what?" she asked quietly.

"Mom, it's nothing. It's just why I didn't want to get out of here yesterday and why he stormed out in the morning when I realised what happened." Blaine shrugged and sat up carefully, wincing at pain around his chest. 

"Oh my god, you..." her eyes shone with tears. "You're beaten up, Blaine."  

"I promise, I'll heal easily, this is nothing." 

"Come on, we're going to the hospital." Pam stepped close to his bed and reached to help Blaine up. He sighed and let her. After all they were going to find out it was a lie anyway so no one would get hurt.

~*~ 

The door to the cell opened and Kurt looked up hopefully. 

"Come on, you're going home." a police officer said coldly. Kurt hopped off the bench and came to the door. He was escorted to the main room and smiled at the sight of his dad. 

"Hey, buddy, all paperwork is done, it took a little more time than it should but we're all good to go,” Burt said with a smile. Kurt breathed out with relief and looked at the man standing by Burt. 

"You must be the lawyer they mentioned." he said carefully. "I'm Kurt Hummel." 

“Peter Clemens. I am indeed a lawyer. Why don't we go to the car and I'll explain everything to you on our way." the lawyer expected politely. "Come on." he led Kurt and Burt out of the police station. Kurt completely relaxed then and stopped for a second.

"Kurt?" 

"I'm sorry, I just... I finally feel like I can breathe." he whispered and touched his chest. Peter nodded at Burt and they waited for him to continue. 

When Kurt stepped out of the police station it finally dawned on him that maybe it was going to be alright. Maybe it was not going to go to his records, maybe people wouldn't find out that he apparently raped his ex-boyfriend. Maybe his future wasn't ruined and over, maybe Kurt Hummel wasn't going to be known forever as a rapist. 

He looked up and smiled weakly at Burt and the lawyer. 

"Am I going to be okay?" 

"If you follow what we'll decide, very much. I know it won't be easy for you but we'll win this, Kurt." Peter smiled at him politely. "Are you ready to discuss it?" 

"Yeah, yes, thank you." Kurt followed Burt and Peter to the car and quickly got in on the back. 

"No, buddy, come to the front. Peter will stay at the back." Burt said quickly and opened the passenger's door for Kurt. He bit his lip and looked at Peter.

"Is it okay?" 

"Of course. Go sit with your dad." he replied with a chuckle and got into the back as Kurt hopped on the front. 

"So when can I go to New York? Because my plane was last night and I need to get there for my exams." 

Peter sighed as Burt started a car. 

"I can't help with this. You'll probably have to take them another time. You need to stay here up until the hearing, if it happens, and until then you need to stay in state.”

Kurt hummed and bit his lip. "Do I have to tell people in school what happened? Is there a way for them to find this out?" 

"Not really, they have no legal right to ask you about this. Unless there are any complications in school, until something happens there they have no way to find out. If you decide to tell anyone that's your call. I would advise against it. You never know what they'll do with the knowledge." 

Kurt sighed and nodded. There was no chance for the school authorities to force him to admit what happened and they shouldn't push him. He looked back at Peter. 

"I'm sorry I'm asking so many questions, I know there's more important information to discuss." 

"That's okay, you have questions, it's natural." Peter smiled friendly. "But yes, we need to discuss how it's all going to go. You cannot talk to Blaine Anderson. Not until the hearing, probably not ever." 

"Good. I don't want to even look at him right now." Kurt murmured angrily.

Peter sighed and took a document out of his handbag.

"I'm not going to lie, it doesn't look good. It doesn't mean we can't get through this but it'll be a difficult fight." 

"You know I didn't do it, right?" 

Peter sighed and looked at the document in his hands. 

"I know that's what you say. But I really want to hear the whole story because this is very complicated situation and I want to know every detail I can. Not right now because you need to rest first but during the next appointment I want to hear the whole story."

Kurt bit his lip and looked at him. "I will tell you the whole story. If it's going to help me I'm not going to omit any detail." 

"That's great. It's surely going to help." Peter replied calmly and put the papers back in the bag. Kurt sighed and leaned against the seat with closed eyes. They discussed Kurt's case through the whole ride home and then a little in the kitchen upon finding out no one was home until Peter had to leave.

"Do you want to go to bed?" Burt asked when they were alone. Kurt shook his head. He slept through the whole night and it felt like the first time in ages so he definitely wasn't tired at all. 

"You know, I think I want to call someone. Is it okay?" Kurt smiled at his dad and stood up.

"Yeah. Your phone is in your room, I figured out you'll want it charged for when you come back." 

"Thank you. Um, do you think... Does anyone know?"  

"No, not yet for sure. You may want to do the magic with whatever you do on the internet when troubles happen." 

"Oh god, yes. I'll be back in a few minutes." Kurt all but run to his room. Before he even touched his phone he turned on his laptop. He checked his Facebook, which had always been private but he made sure no one could post on his wall. Then he proceeded to set to private all his other accounts and block the comments options before he finally reached for his phone. 

He had absolutely no idea if anyone in Lima was going to find out but he had to make sure they could not contact anyone in New York. No one should do that but they were Glee club. They fed off any drama. Kurt took his phone and sat on the bed before calling Adam's number. After a few seconds Adam picked up.

"Hello, sweetheart?" 

"Hey, Adam." he crossed his legs and smiled at the sound of Adam's voice. "I missed you." 

"You should have called earlier." Adam said warmly. 

“I couldn’t. I will explain it to you but not through the phone.” Kurt replied and sat more comfortably. “I think we have a lot to talk about when I’m in New York.” Adam went silent, probably waiting for more explanation. Kurt sighed softly. “It’s not… Okay, it’s not good but it’s probably not like anything you’re thinking about now.”

“So you’re not breaking up with me?” 

“I hope to do the opposite.” Kurt admitted and then closed his eyes. “But we’ll see how it goes. Don’t worry now, okay?”  

“I’ll try not to. So how have you been?” Adam asked and Kurt was sure he could practically hear his smile. The positive energy around his friend (boyfriend?) was refreshing compared to the energy that Kurt usually had surrounding him.

"Well, I'm better now. It was rough for some time. But I can't wait to come back to New York now." 

"When are you coming, sweetheart?"

Kurt groaned and let his head rest against the headboard of his bed. "I wish I knew that. I don't... I don't know, Adam, I wish I could give you an answer but it's just so complicated." 

"Calm down, Kurt." Adam interrupted his babbling calmly and Kurt was sure Adam was ready to make some tea. And he would, had it not been for the distance between them two. "What happened?" 

"It's complicated." Kurt replied pullin his legs higher, crossing them at ankles. "It's hard because I should be there for exams but I may not make it."

Adam hummed and Kurt could hear some clattering on the other side. Maybe Adam needed a cheer up himself, maybe something bad happened and Kurt was being selfish and inattentive. "Oh god, Adam, I'm so sorry. How are you, are you okay?" he asked nervously.

"I'm okay, don't worry about me. I don't know how to help you from here, sweetheart. So I'll just... I will come, Kurt." 

Kurt gasped and covered his mouth with a hand. He would never ask for that. He knew Adam had plans, that's why they were separated in the first place. 

"Adam, no, no. You can't just drop everything for me. You know that." he protested quickly, despite the fact all he really wanted was for Adam to be able to come.

"Well, the Valentine's day concert is done. It was really good, by the way. I'll tell you more once I'm in Lima. I'm free now for some time and I have some spare cash. I'll explain it." Adam said gently. 

Kurt bit his lip and sighed quietly. He should keep saying no, he shouldn't make Adam spend money and time or keep him away from studying before finals. There were many reasons for Adam not to come and yet Kurt couldn't get himself to say no again.

"Are you sure?" 

"I'm sure. Can you pick me up from the airport or should I rent a car? I have GPS so it's not a problem." 

Kurt heard the clicking of buttons on the other side of the line as Adam probably booked the ticket. He smiled to himself. Having Adam there was going to feel so much better. That was unless knowing the truth was going to convince Adam Kurt wasn't worth it. He tried not to think about it. 

Of course this was a lot to take and he was aware Adam wasn't expecting this. But if he wanted to be with Adam he just had to be honest first. Maybe Brody could live with hiding something so big but Kurt knew he certainly couldn't. He couldn't build a relationship when he was lying to his partner from the beginning. And while not judgemental, he was certain what he needed to do. Hiding this wasn't for him. 

Kurt gave Adam all information and promised to pick him up from the airport before hanging up. They were going to see each other in the evening anyway, and Kurt had no idea how Adam could afford buying tickets for the evening but he was going to ask later, so there was no reason to keep Adam away from packing. 

Kurt smiled and put his phone on the bedside table before jogging downstairs. His dad was still in the kitchen so he smiled and went to grab a cup of coffee. 

"You're going to meet my friend today." he said to Burt with a smile as he poured coffee into a mug. 

"Is someone I don't know coming over?" Burt asked curiously.

"Adam is coming here." Kurt said with a smile. 

"Oh. Your New York boyfriend?" 

Kurt chuckled and shook his head. "We're serious. Yet. And maybe we won't. But I want to tell him everything and not through the phone so he decided to come."

Burt smiled and nodded. "That's very mature."

"That's who I'm trying to be." Kurt replied and took a sip of his coffee. He looked at his phone when it beeped with new message. "Adan booked his ticket. I'll pick him up at nine."

"Are you going to Columbus by yourself?" 

"Yeah, I think so. We have a lot to talk about and I don't want him intimidated by your first." Kurt joked.

Burt chuckled and shook his head. "I don't plan to intimidate him. Unless you think I should?"

"No, I think I can handle myself, dad." Kurt said surely and smiled over his coffee.

 "You really like this guy."

"I do. I don't know how well it will work once he finds out what happened with Blaine. But I really want it to work out." Kurt admitted softly and chuckled at the thought of Adam. It was easy to smile when Adam was with him and he couldn’t wait to be reunited after the difficult weekend he’d had.

"It will work out, buddy. If he's smart he'll know who's the bad guy here."

"Thanks, dad. I'm gonna go prepare for meeting him." 

"Good luck, Kurt." Burt smiled as his son stood up and left the kitchen. 

Kurt jogged upstairs and immediately went to the bathroom. He hopped into the shower and then afterwards quickly planned his outfit before stopping himself after he put on pants. Kurt sighed and reached for his phone. He thought "not leaving state" didn't mean "not showing up at the airport" but if it did? What if he was going to get into more trouble if someone thought he was going to fly out of Ohio? 

Kurt winced when choosing Adam's phone number. He was only hoping Adam wasn't at the airport already without GPS.

"Hello, sweetheart?" he picked up after the first signal, his voice slightly worried.

"Hey, Adam." Kurt smiled and sat on the bed. "I don't think I can pick you up after all, I'm sorry.

"Did something happen? Are you okay, Kurt?" Kurt could practically hear Adam's frown in his voice. 

"I'm okay, I just didn't think of something I have to do. I can't get out of Lima right now. I hope you still have time to grab your GPS? Or I could ask my dad to bring you? I'm sorry, I forgot about this." Kurt said apologetically.

"That's okay, I'm already at the airport but I'll figure out my way to Lima." Adam replied calmly. 

"I'm really sorry about this." 

"It's okay, sweetheart, don't worry about this." 

"You're doing so much for me and I can't do as much as pick you up from the airport." Kurt sighed sadly. 

"It's okay, don't worry about it. I should be there in about four hours. So maybe try to get some rest? You sound quite stressed, I can't imagine it being good for you."  

"You're too good for me." Kurt murmured.

"I'm just being a decent human being. That's not too much." Adam replied immediately. "I have to check in my baggage, I'll talk to you when I'm there." 

"Sure, I'll see you in a few hours." Kurt hang up and put the phone on the bedside table. It was all so complicated, he made his life complicated when he decided to have sex with Blaine and for what? For a few minutes of pleasure that he didn't even remember. It was completely stupid and shouldn't have happened, it wasn't worth the drama and all the pain he caused to his friends and family.

After all he decided to take Adam's advice and take a nap. He set up an alarm and lay down. After a second of consideration he stood up though and trotted to his suitcase to take one Ambien pill out of the bottle. He wanted to have a few hours of peaceful sleep without all thoughts about police station, Blaine and pain. He swallowed it dry and got back into bed after stripping down to his boxers. After a few minutes he was asleep.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Burt didn't expect to see Kurt asleep when he went to check on when he was going to leave. But he let him, assuming he had made an arrangement with Adam. Maybe Kurt decided he needed rest? Maybe he just didn't feel like taking a long trip to Columbus. Whatever the reason was, he was asleep and when Burt opened the door after someone rung a bell he saw who he assumed was Adam at the door. 

"Well, hello." he hummed and raised his eyebrows. "I thought Kurt was going to pick you up." 

"Hi, hi. Kurt called a few hours ago he cannot make it and asked me to come. I couldn't reach him through the phone so I figured out I'll try my luck with a doorbell, I hope that's okay, sir." Adam replied politely and shook offered by Burt's hand. "I'm Adam Crawford." 

"Burt Hummel. Come in, I think Kurt's still asleep, he didn't show up downstairs in a few hours and you probably know how he is with his phone when tired." 

Adam chuckled warmly and nodded. "Probably didn't react to his alarm." 

Burt chuckled and led Adam in. "Do you want something to drink, coffee, tea?"

"Tea would be amazing but I'd like to go say hello to Kurt first, if that's okay?" 

"Of course. Upstairs, second door on the left. I'll let you two have some privacy while I make you tea." 

Adam nodded and headed upstairs, a little surprised he was simply let in but maybe Kurt showed his dad pictures of them together. Adam knocked on the door he was instructed to go through and when he heard no answer he looked inside and smiled immediately at the sight of Kurt sleeping, wrapped in the blankets. He entered the room and went to the bed, sat on the edge of it and rubbed Kurt's back through the blanket. 

"Hey, Kurt?" he said gently and smiled when Kurt stirred. "Here we go. Hello, sweetheart." 

"Adam?" Kurt frowned and yawned. "You're here. I had an alarm on, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened." 

"That's okay, sweetheart. I know how you are with alarms when you're exhausted." Adam whispered gently and leaned down to kiss Kurt's forehead. "Do you need some time?" 

"No, unless you're scared of seeing someone in underwear only." Kurt sat up and untangled himself from the blankets. 

"I'm quite okay with this. I mean this in the most innocent way possible." Adam smiled and stood up to let Kurt out of the bed. 

"I need to grab some clothes and I'm ready. You've met my dad, right?" Kurt got up and went to the bathroom to use mouthwash. 

"I have. Briefly. He was surprised you were in bed."

"So am I. I mean, I tried to make sure I woke up but I seemed to fail." Kurt sighed and put on clothes he had prepared in the bathroom before leaving it and smiling at Adam. "Sorry about that, I was so ready to talk in the car but then I had to change plans." 

"We can talk later, if you want. Or we can talk now." Adam smiled gently.

"Have you eaten since getting out of New York?"

"I drank some tea, I'm good." 

"Tea doesn't count." Kurt rolled his eyes.

Adam made an offended face and touched his heart with right hand, faking a shock. "Tea always counts." 

"Not as food." Kurt chuckled and went to the mirror to coif his hair before stopping middle through the way. "Maybe I'll just cook for you? I thought about eating out today but since you're already here I can just make something when we're done with this." 

"So straight to the point?" Adam smiled and looked at Kurt working on his hair. It was always a fascinating process, Kurt managing to put his hair up high almost effortlessly. with well exercised moves. 

“Okay, yeah.” Kurt sighed when he was done and went to rinse his hands quickly. “It’s not a good story. I’m not proud of this.” he said firmly while sitting on the bed by Adam. “But I figured you should know and you should know before it gets serious. Because I can’t handle you walking away when I let myself get involved.” 

“Understandable.” Adam smiled warmly and reached for Kurt’s hand but Kurt moved it closer to himself. Adam frowned and looked at Kurt. “Sweetheart?” 

“Blaine filed a report. He told the police I raped him.” Kurt said quietly and looked down at his feet curled under himself. “I didn’t… I swear I didn’t hurt him, I didn’t force him to do anything but he said that and now they all think I’m a rapist. I was arrested. It’s why I didn’t want to go to the airport, I’m not allowed to leave the state because I’m only out on a bail.” 

Adam was shocked. It was hard not to be when something like that happened. He was expecting some mild problems, something that was going to be easily fixed but that was, it was quite much. Not that he thought Kurt would be able to do something like that, to rape someone and the fact that he didn’t try to hide anything only pointed towards innocence but something had to happen. 

“How… What happened, Kurt?” he asked carefully. 

“I slept with Blaine. I was drunk and I don’t remember much but I know I didn’t rape him, I’m sure of that. But I got mad in the morning and left the house because of what happened, I didn’t want to talk to him.” Kurt explained softly and bit his lip. “I found out what he did and stormed out. Two days later I was arrested. I don’t know what he was thinking, I’m not sure what he really did, how they let it happen. But I was arrested and people think I’m some kind of a monster now.” 

Adam took a deep breath and stood up. “How is this even possible, is everyone insane?” he murmured angrily. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you mad…” Kurt whispered and finally looked at Adam with shining eyes. He was on the verge of crying because this could be it, this could be a break up before they even really dated. 

“I just don’’t understand how is this possible. I mean okay, I believe you, you didn’t hurt Blaine but how could he lie about it? And they check it, there are ways to do so. So how could they arrest you without any proof and when it’s based on a lie?” 

“Apparently the rape kit showed that he was hurt.” Kurt murmured. 

“Kurt…” Adam paled and took a step back. 

“I didn’t do it. I swear to God I didn’t.” 

“I want to believe you. I do. But if he has proof, Kurt. That’s not something he can make up so I don’t know what to think.” Adam replied seriously and stepped towards the door. “I need some time, I’m sorry, I just…” 

“I don’t top!” Kurt let it slip and then immediately covered his mouth. He murmured something illegible that made Adam raise his eyebrows. 

“Come again?” 

“I don’t top. I never have, really, except for maybe one time we gave it a try. I hated it. And I hate it in every state even hammered. He didn’t use the condom when sleeping with me. So I know I didn’t top, I couldn’t have raped him if I didn’t top.” Kurt whispered with a deep blush reddening his face. “I know I didn’t rape him because he topped that night. I’m sure because I found out in the shower…” 

‘Oh, honey…” Adam sighed and shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell them?” 

“Because it was already two days afterwards. I showered three times and since I wasn’t hurt there was no proof left…” Kurt whispered and untangled his legs to pull his knees close to the chest. “So I don’t know what he did but somehow they bought it.” 

“This is bullshit.” Adam frowned and came back to the bed, sitting next to Kurt. “He can’t just do this to you.” 

“He was hurt, probably. I said something hurtful I should’t have said but I got angry when I found out what he did. I mean we’re not together and he didn’t use protection, it’s so stupid.” 

“It’s thoughtless. He risked your health.” 

“He risked his own, too.” Kurt said quietly and blushed. “I’m not innocent.” 

“I know that. Or I suspect.” Adam replied gently and patted Kurt’s knee. “But he made that decision for himself. You didn’t have a choice.” 

“That’s the truth. I doubt he even thought I'd be able to sleep with someone besides him. He's quite self centred." Kurt chuckled bitterly. If only Blaine knew. But he had no right anymore. Unlike Adam, who, Kurt decided, should find out. "There's one more thing." 

Adam's eyes widened and he cocked his head to the side. "Did you murder someone this time?" he asked playfully and smiled wider when Kurt chuckled. 

"Not quite that bad. Not good either, though." 

"Shoot. Let's get over with bad news so we can catch up." Adam said cheerfully and sat cross-legged opposite of Kurt. 

"Okay. So I told you on the phone, I would love to call it properly... Whatever we want to call it. I want us to be what we decide to be but I need to be honest with you and it's not anything my ex related. It's not about past baggage. It's about my... Well, my job." Kurt paused and looked at Adam. 

"The one where you're definitely not waiting in a diner?" Adam asked with a slight smile.

"How do you...?" 

"Do you really think I didn't try to visit you on graveyard shift more than once? Somehow you were never there and when I asked about one Kurt Hummel I found out no one named Kurt Hummel ever worked there. So I was wondering, I'm not gonna lie. But I was waiting for you to decide to be honest with me when you decide it's time." Adam explained calmly. He wasn't angry, he had been disappointed upon finding out Kurt lied but he knew honesty wasn't something Kurt just owned him. If there were secrets, it was fine but he didn’t want lies. "Just in the future? You don't have to lie, you can just say you don't want to talk about it." 

"I just felt like you'd think I was silly not wanting to talk about my job. It's just a job, right? Except, well... No one really knows. And everyone believes I work in a diner for a reason that I'm an escort. I work as a..." 

"Prostitute?" Adam supplied with raised eyebrows. 

"Well, yes, technically." Kurt sighed and looked down. 

"Oh wow, okay..." Adam straightened his back. "I mean..." 

"You can leave. I mean not physically leave, I don't want you to go back today or if it's up to me anytime soon. But if you decide to keep being friends because of this... Or not being friends at all because I don't deserve you as a friend, really, that's okay. I'll understand." 

"I'm not leaving. Not as a friend, not... I'm not leaving Kurt but I need some time alone to think it through.” Adam said carefully and looked at Kurt. "I'm not angry or disappointed, I don't think worse of you. We do what we gotta do but this is quite difficult..." 

"I know, it's... You have all time in the world, Adam." Kurt looked up at Adam with a sad smile. He felt his eyes already stinging, full of tears he tried to keep from spilling.  

"Don't cry, sweetheart." 

"I can't not cry when I'm losing the best thing that has happened to me in the past few months." Kurt whispered as his lip trembled. 

"You're not losing me. I'll just take a walk or a ride around the city and I'll be back and then we can talk, is this okay?" Adam asked quietly and kissed Kurt's temple.

"No, no, don't..." Kurt shook his head and stood up. "I mean, I just... You can go, okay? I just don't want you to give me hope I shouldn't have." 

"That's okay, sweetheart. I'll go and I'll be back. I swear I'll be back." Adam smiled sadly and left the room. Kurt sat back on the bed and looked at the opened door. He knew Adam said he'd be back but it felt like everyone was leaving. 

Kurt inhaled sharply and let out a sob. He had known it was the risk all along. Doing that job meant he knew the risk all along. But then he never even thought this was going to happen. He never believed he'd even find anyone again. And the disappointments from the relationships with Blaine made him not want to. but Adam was so much better. Adam was gentle and loving even though they weren't even together, they were merely friends and he was there for Kurt all the time. And it was never a plan to want more but here he was. 

Kurt curled on the bed and hid his face in a pillow. He was hoping for more despite knowing it was impossible and it was his own decision. So why did it hurt so much. Why did something he gave up on long time ago hurt so much when it was lost? 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Adam! :D

It felt like eternity since he laid down on his bed and the tears didn't stop coming. Kurt told his dad he needed time and smiled sadly when Carole came over to check on him. In the end he needed to be left alone for just a little to mourn the end of what could have been. 

Kurt didn't react when yet another person entered his room. They were going to go away in a second they just kept coming for a little while but really knew he just had to stay alone. So they checked and left. He turned around to smile at Carole when she brought him something to drink, the sound of a mug put on the bedside table getting his attention. But it wasn't her. 

Adam's sad smile surprised Kurt. He sat up quickly and tried to straighten his shirt but it was a lost battle.

"You came..." Kurt whispered in a hoarse voice. 

"I told you, I wasn't going anywhere far." Adam said gently and motioned at the bed. "Can I sit?" 

"Of course, yeah..." Kurt moved farther from the edge to make place. "I'm sorry, I don't look good right now, probably." 

"You look as good as ever. And if you didn't that'd be okay." Adam smiled and sat on the bed.

"You brought tea?" 

"I always bring tea. I also brought some thoughts with me, if you want to hear?" 

Kurt sighed and nodded. "Let's get over with bad stuff." Kurt tried to make it sound positive but it didn't work.

"Okay." Adam sat more comfortably. "I thought about everything you said and I have to apologise. No, let me finish." he smiled when Kurt tried to interrupt. "I never should have had doubts about your arrest being a mistake or some kind of a cruel joke on Blaine's part. It's not that I didn't want to believe you, because I do believe you. I know you're a good person and from what I've found out so far, I'm sure you'd never hurt anyone, not on purpose, not like that. But I worked in a shelter and I worked with children, yeah, sometimes they were children, that suffered all kind of abuse. This too. Rape is... It's such a big problem but tests are just... They're tests. They can be manipulated. And because of that you're suffering consequences from something you didn't do and it sucks." 

Kurt nodded and sighed heavily. He leaned on the headboard and listened to Adam.

"It's a mistake and it's the one that will just... You'll need me. You'll need all the friends you can get because this is just terrible. And I'll be here all the way through it for you." Adam declared and reached for Kurt's hand but Kurt didn't offer it.

Friends. Being Adam's friend was amazing but it didn't feel enough anymore. It was more like a consolation price. Hey Kurt, you're a prostitute now but I'll stay your friend. He shook his head and bit his lip, trying to clear his mind and calm down. It had to be enough. 

"But I want to be more than that. Your job, it's just a job. I hope it is. It's the one that will make our, well, intimate life if we get there more difficult and will require a lot of special care and just simple attention that would not be needed if you weren't doing it. But I'm willing to take it. Because I know this is just a job and it's a choice you had to make for this or that choice and now we're here." 

Kurt gasped and looked at Adam with wide eyes. "Does it mean you want to...?" he asked in a quiet voice. What if he was mistaken and Adam didn't mean it? He couldn't let himself hope. 

"I want to be with you. And I don't want to make a big deal out of it like it's some kind of a problem. I want to be with you because you're an amazing person and this we can deal with." Adam smiled and reached for Kurt's hand again. This time Kurt took it and smiled. 

"You want to try." 

"I want to be with you. It's not a trial. What will come out of it, I don't know but I want to be with you." Adam smiled and squeezed Kurt's hand. 

"I want that, too." Kurt whispered and moved to sit on his heels. "I never thought 'd be lucky enough to find anyone." 

"Well, I'm lucky I met you." 

"Cheesy." 

"Honest." Adam leaned closer and kissed Kurt gently.  "I really don't care what the world tells you, Kurt." 

Kurt grinned and took Adam's other hand. He was blushing slightly.   
"We have so much to talk about." 

"And we will. But I think we should go let your dad know you're okay. I'm not sure he's really happy with me." Adam whispered and stroked)Kurt's hand with his thumb. "I didn't mean to make you sad." 

"It wasn't your fault. Or really, nothing you did. I was just scared that maybe you were going to leave just when I let myself hope for something..." 

"I had to take time to cool off. It was quite a lot you told me and not really easy stuff. I'm better now and I'm glad I left because maybe if I didn't give myself time I'd have said something I didn't mean to and hurt you. I wouldn't want that." Adam explained with a smile and stroke Kurt's cheek. "I just wished that hadn't made you cry." 

"It's okay. I'm getting used to it." Kurt said with a small smile but it made Adam frown. The thought of Kurt crying was the sad thing that he didn't want to think about. People making someone like Kurt, kind, gentle person cry was unimaginable. There was absolutely no reason to make him upset, he was nothing but nice to everyone and he wished everyone well. And ruining his future with something like that? It was unimaginable.

"No more crying now, okay?" Adam asked with a sad smile and stood up. "Let's go talk to your dad."

"Are you ready to face a shotgun?" Kurt joked and got off the bed. 

"Can't wait." 

~*~ 

The talk with Burt went pretty smoothly. They had to omit the parts about Kurt's job as he warned Adam his dad didn't know about it. But they managed to explain what happened without as well as announce they've made a decision to start dating. It made Burt smile and Kurt couldn't be happier about that. 

After diner Kurt and Adam went upstairs to rest a little. Kurt got on the bed and grinned at Adam. 

"That went well." he commented and leaned on the pillows. 

Adam smiled and went to his suitcase he had brought to the room to put his cardigan in it before lying down by Kurt. 

"It did. I didn't get shot." he joked and kissed Kurt's temple. "So... I want to know." 

"Know what?" Kurt frowned and looked at Adam unsurely. 

"What happened the past few days." Adam explained and wrapped his arms around Kurt's middle. 

Kurt sighed and bit his lip. "Are you sure you want to know? It involves things I'd rather not talk with you about if they were going to upset you." 

"I'm not going to be upset because you had sex with Blaine." Adam said bluntly and stroked his thumb on Kurt's stomach when he flinched. "I know you did and that's fine. It's not like you cheated on me. Of course I'd prefer if you didn't do it but I can't see how it's my right to be upset or angry with you in any way."

"You can't help if you're upset." Kurt hummed and laid his head on Adam's shoulder. 

"That's the truth. I'm not upset though, don't worry. I want to know what happened." 

Kurt sighed and nodded, his body tense against Adam's side.

"We went to a club. Because our teacher's wedding was a flop and I wanted to have some fun. And I got drunk, which I don't do often but it happened. I don't know what my thought process was. Perhaps I wanted to check if I can still make sex meaningful, you know?" 

"That actually makes a lot of sense to me." Adam replied softly and smiled. 

"And Blaine seemed, well. It used to mean something so it made sense to my drunk mind somehow. And then I woke up. I don't remember anything. I was a little freaked out so I went to the shower where I realised he didn't use protection. And I felt so dirty. I know it's probably hypocritical but I know what I'm doing. And I'm not hurting anyone with it. When he cheated on me we were dating. So the thought of him sleeping with that guy and then just deciding not to use a condom." Kurt sighed heavily and hid his face in Adam's shirt. 

"It was irresponsible." Adam said softly and stroked the back of Kurt's neck. "He shouldn't have done that." 

"Right? So I told him that and then, I told him it wouldn't be a problem in the first place if he wasn't sleeping around. It was quite rude, I must admit." 

"Not the best way to word your concern." Adam admitted but his tone wasn't judgemental. He knew anger didn't justify any behaviour but it made it easier to understand. He wasn't going to judge Kurt for hurting Blaine when there was so much going on at the time.

"I stormed out. I didn't talk to him since then. And well two days later I came home and there were police officers waiting for me. I was so confused, Adam." Kurt whispered in a trembling voice. The memory was making him anxious all over again. 

"Of course you were, sweetheart." Adam rubbed Kurt's back soothingly. 

"I was arrested in front of my dad. It was humiliating and shocking. They took me to the car, taking me to the station and I had a panic attack." 

"Oh, honey." Adam interrupted him and kissed his forehead. 

"I passed out and I woke up in a hospital. There was a nice nurse who made the doctor let me stay until the morning so I didn't have to spend the night at the police station in a cell like a criminal, despite them not really believing me.

But they put me there in the morning anyway until my dad arrived." Kurt looked at Adam and bit his lip. "It felt awful but once I was free I felt so relieved." 

Adam smiled at Kurt sadly. He didn't want to interrupt too much but he was aching to say something. It all seemed unfair to him, Blaine making the accusation like that without any real reason - Kurt had the right to be angry and it didn't seem like Blaine had anything against what happened until it turned out he was wrong. Which seemed to be a pattern in his behaviour but this was much worse than anything he'd ever done before. 

Kurt sighed and moved a little, resting his head on Adam's middle, his legs bent in knees so his feet weren't off the bed. 

"Is this okay?" he asked shyly.

"Of course." Adam chuckled. He laid his hand on Kurt's chest. "Whatever you're comfortable with." 

"This is good." Kurt smiled and put his hand over Adam's, squeezing his fingers gently. "The rest, well, I had a conversation with my dad and his lawyer who's now my lawyer apparently. I never wanted to have one." he frowned. 

"Well, it's good to have someone that knows the law in your corner. It's only bad you need him in this mess." Adam supplied gently. His right hand wondered towards Kurt's hard, stroking it gently.

"You're so smart." Kurt smiled warmly.

"Just practical. So was he helpful?" 

"He was. Except, well I don't like the idea of the help I need right now. The idea is using my dad's influence to get the charges dropped. Not really perfect but I have no chance in court, really. There's too much evidence and no one is going to question a rape victim on being honest."

"Probably not." Adam nodded. 

"So that's it. I have to use my dad's connections to get out of this situation. And that sucks so much." Kurt huffed and closed his eyes. "I don't want people to think I'm a rapist." 

"If the charges will be dropped no one will think that, Kurt." 

"Everyone will know it's because of my dad. So it won't matter anyway." 

Adam sighed and nodded sadly. 

"It is terribly unfair." he admitted softly and petted Kurt's hair.

"I'm lucky though. You could have left and then I'd be alone now."   
   
"I'd never leave. And I'm more lucky." Adam whispered and smiled down at Kurt before bending a little and pecking Kurt's lips.   
   
~*~  
   
Kurt's phone rang while he was in the shower. Adam noticed the strange number and decided not to pick it up. If it was his and Kurt's mutual friend he'd do it without hesitation. Adam stood up and knocked on the bathroom door where Kurt was showering.   
   
"Hey, sweetheart?" he called out and smiled as he heard the water stop.

"Is something wrong?" Kurt asked with concern. 

"Your phone is ringing for the second time now and I'm not sure if it's not important, the number isn't saved."   
   
"Oh, I'll get out in a sec."   
   
Adam could hear Kurt moving around before he left the bathroom, still dripping from the shower and only with a towel wrapped around his hips. Adam raised his eyebrows and bit his lip. Kurt's body wasn't unfamiliar to him, he’d seen him change a few times but it never stopped being impressive to him.   
   
"My phone?" Kurt chuckled. 

"Oh yeah, here." Adam blushed and handed it to Kurt.   
   
Kurt frowned at the strange number but picked up the call.

"Hello?" 

"Hey, Kurt." 

Kurt froze and almost dropped his cell. 

"Blaine?" he hissed and looked at Adam with wide eyes. Why would Blaine call? Adam straightened his back and after a second of hesitation took Kurt's hand and led him to the bed, soothing him into sitting position quickly. 

Kurt sat down and sighed gracefully as Adam let him lean against his body. 

"What do you want?" he asked Blaine coldly. The fact that he dared to call after everything was making Kurt incredibly angry. 

"I never wanted this to go so far." Blaine said quietly and Kurt could hear shuffling on the other end of the line. "I just had to tell my mom something." 

"You could have told her the truth? That you're an adult who had sex with someone."

"After what you did to me?"

"What did I do to you, now?" Kurt rolled his eyes and huffed angrily.

"You used me. I wanted us to reunite and you just thought you could sleep with me and everything would be fine?"  
   
"I told you that was all I wanted. From the very beginning I told you we were going out as friends." 

"Maybe. But I wanted more. And then you said that thing about what I had done to you and I thought it was the past." Blaine said in an angry voice.

"So you go out there and tell people I raped you? Ruin my future?" 

"Well, there is a way to resolve it without people thinking you're a rapist." Blaine said smugly. 

"What are you talking about now?" Kurt huffed.  
   
"You can just take it back and we can get together. I’ll tell people it was misunderstanding."

Kurt gasped and gripped his phone tighter. "You have to be kidding me." he hissed. 

"No, it'd make perfe..."

"Forget about me. And don't call me again or next time I'll record the conversation." Kurt said angrily and hung up. He threw the phone on the bed and tightened his fist. The nerve Blaine had to call him like that.

"Sweetheart?" Adam whispered and touched Kurt's shoulder gently. "What did he want?"

"He wants me to get back together with him and he'll drop the charges." Kurt said quietly and bit his lip. It was ridiculous, Blaine was being ridiculous.

Adam's body tensed and he clenched his jaw. "What a little shit." he whispered angrily. Kurt raised his eyebrows and turned around. Adam wasn't the one to swear, usually. He was kind and gentle but now he was angry and Kurt didn't really know what to make of it. 

"I don't know what he's thinking, after what he's done I'd never take him." he whispered.

Adam shook his head and sighed heavily. "I think you should though." 

"What? Adam..."

"No, listen to me. He will drop the charges and he can't go back on his word again just because you two have a fight. So you’d be free from this." Adam explained gently.  
   
"I won't be free. I'll have to be with Blaine!" Kurt looked at Adam with wide eyes. He couldn't really think it was a good idea, could he? 

"I know. But I don't want you to risk your future because of me.

"It's not only because of you. It's because of me. I don't want to be with him and I want to be with you. And if it means you'll have to visit me in jail then so be it."  
   
"Don't say that.” Adam whispered sadly and kissed Kurt's temple. "How about this? You put on some clothes and I'll make tea in the meantime and we can rest in bed."   
   
"That sounds awesome." Kurt smiled and went to the bathroom. 


	13. Chapter 13

The next day Kurt got a call from his lawyer. The hearing was going to happen seven days later. The night before the hearing Kurt couldn't sleep. He didn't want to take Ambien to help with that because sometimes it left him groggy in the morning. So he spent the whole night lying on the bed and staring at the wall. Adam found him like that after waking up. He sighed and sat up. 

"Kurt?" 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." Kurt whispered quietly.

"You didn't. You were quiet the whole night." Adam smiled softly and sat closer to Kurt. "I'd ask what is bothering you but I have a feeling I know." 

Kurt nodded and sat up, leaning against the pillows. "It's not so easy. I don't know what to say anymore." 

"You discussed everything with Peter, you'll be alright." Adam said calmly and rubbed Kurt's back. 

"I hope I will be but I'm scared it's all for nothing anyway. What if there's a trial and I end up in jail for years?" 

"You won't. Peter is good, you know that." 

"I know but this is such a big deal. I'm congressman's son. If this gets out they won't be able to do anything.  Everyone will thinkI raped my ex-boyfriend." Kurt said quietly in a trembling voice.

"There's a gag order on this. And the hearing will be private for your own good. That's the only reason I won't be there." Adam smiled at Kurt. 

"I know. I wish you could be there but media coverage would be bad." 

"See, Peter knows what he's doing. Now you get up and go shower while I make breakfast, how does it sound?" 

"Amazing." Kurt smiled and got up from the bed, helping Adam up, too.

"I'll wait with breakfast for you." 

"You're the best."

~*~

Kurt was trying to focus on everything happening around him but there was a little too much law talk for him to understand. He did try though and he looked at the judge carefully the whole time, avoiding looking at Blaine completely. Only when he was on the stand to tell his part of the story did he glance at his ex-boyfriend. Blaine really did look beaten up, Kurt's throat tightened. He looked hurt and Kurt suddenly couldn't stop thinking about what had to happen to him. It wasn't Kurt but it had to be someone because Blaine didn't hurt himself. 

Kurt took a deep breath and cleared his throat. 

"February 16th I told my dad I was going out and when Blaine picked me up I went with him to the bar in West Lima. I was going to go home that night so I didn't even tell my dad I wouldn't come home. I didn't plan to get drunk and I didn't plan to stay with Blaine for the night." 

"How much did you drink?" Blaine's lawyer asked. 

Kurt frowned and looked at Peter. He didn't remember how much it was and didn't know what was an expected answer. But he remembered that Peter said he was supposed to be honest about everything that happened so Kurt took a deep breath and looked at the lawyer. 

"I"m not sure. I think four glasses of wine? But I don't know for sure." 

"So you drank four glasses of wine. You're underage, aren't you?" 

"I am." 

"Go on." the lawyer said without a comment.

"I don't remember much of what happened after that. I remember kissing Blaine and then him taking me home. The rest." Kurt shook his head. "The next thing I remember is waking up in Blaine's bed." 

"So you don't remember what happened between you two?" the lawyer asked.

"I know I didn't hurt Blaine." Kurt said surely.

"How do you know that if you don't remember anything?" 

"Blaine claimed I raped him. And I know I didn't do it because..." Kurt bit his lip and looked at Peter who nodded. "I know because in the morning when I was showering I realised he didn't use a condom. And I could see that because, frankly, there was still semen residue in my body." he said firmly.

Blaine's lawyer raised his eyebrows and looked at Blaine for a second before looking back at Kurt. 

"Are you claiming you didn't hurt Blaine that night?" she asked.

"Not physically. He took me home despite me not planning it, I didn't want to have sex with Blaine when I left the house that evening and that it happened was surprising. He didn't use a condom so if I was reported immediately or if he was hurt it'd be found out. If not for the fact there were twenty four hours between the night I was intimate with Blaine and the report everyone would find out I was on the receiving end that night." 

"There is no proof for that. There is proof, however, that Blaine was hurt." the lawyer said calmly.

"I don't know how it happened. In the morning we had a fight and I left immediately after that." 

"So you're saying Blaine hurt himself."

"I'm not saying that, I just don't know who did but it wasn't me." Kurt said surely.

"I don't have anymore questions." she sat down. Peter stood up and came close to Kurt. 

"Mr Hummel, care to tell me how much sexual experience you've had before the night of the alleged assault?" Peter asked calmly.

"I didn't have much, there was only Blaine and well, I've never really been..." Kurt winced and dug his nails harder into his thigh. "I've never topped, I've never enjoyed it so I cannot imagine why that night would it be different. And I know it wasn't because of what I found out in the shower."   

Peter nodded and looked at the judge briefly before focusing on Kurt again.

"And the fight you two had in the morning, what it was about?" 

"Blaine wanted us to get back together and I didn't want that. So I said something I didn't really mean about our past, I called him, well I said he was sleeping around and that's why I was angry about him forgoing protection." 

"So you didn't split that morning peacefully."

"No, we didn't. I stormed out after telling Blaine not to contact me. And other than today and the phone call Blaine made a week ago I had no contact with him." 

"Phone call?" Peter looked at Kurt like he heard it for the first time, even though it was all planned.

"Um, yeah... A week ago or so Blaine called me from a phone number I didn't recognise and told me he'd drop the charges if I took him back." Kurt replied quietly.

"So let me make it clear, he said he'd drop the charges if you agreed to be in a relationship with him?"

"Yes."

"I don't have anymore questions then."

Kurt nodded and stood up, getting back to his place. He smiled at Peter uncertainly. 

"It went well." Peter said quietly and rubbed Kurt's shoulder. "You can speak now, ask Blaine any and all questions, it's not a trial so I'm not the only person to ask, remember?"

Kurt nodded and looked up at the stand when Blaine got there. He swallowed heavily, the sight was making him uneasy. Blaine didn't look bruised like that the morning Kurt left and he was sure of that. 

"So the night Kurt hurt me we indeed went out together." Blaine started his story in a trembling voice. Kurt clenched his jaw at the tone he was using. Blaine wasn't a victim here, no matter what, Kurt was the one hurt. "I took Kurt to my house because he was drunk, I didn't want his dad to find out. If I had known what was going to happen I'd have thought twice. We went up to my room and I planned to put Kurt in bed. I helped him take off his pants so he wouldn't be uncomfortable. That's when he grabbed me." 

Kurt shuddered and had to take a deep breath to calm himself down. He had expected it to be difficult but knowing he was going to hear a story about him assaulting Blaine. The one that didn't happen so Blaine could make up anything to make Kurt look bad. It was unimaginable to him and he did not understand why Blaine wanted to hurt him so much.

"Kurt was drunk, he wanted to sleep with me but I didn't want that so he pulled me on top of him and held me tight. I said no a few times and tried to move but that's when Kurt got angry. He flipped us and got on top of me." 

Kurt looked at Blaine with wide eyes. This was worse than he thought. He reached for his glass of water and gripped it firmly. 

"Kurt, you should calm down." Peter said quietly.

"I can't listen to it, he's making it up right now." Kurt whispered in a trembling voice. 

"I know. It didn't happen and we'll prove it but you need to stay calm right now. You're an actor, right? Try to use it." 

Kurt nodded nervously and looked back at Blaine, who was shaking. 

"He undressed me and then himself. He managed to hold me down because he sat on my hips." Blaine explained. Peter stood up and went closer to the stand. 

"Mr Anderson, you said Kurt managed to hold you down easily. Don't you train sports? You're a boxer, right?" 

"I am." Blaine nodded. 

"So why didn't manage to push Kurt off your hips?" Peter asked calmly.

"He's a dancer, he has a lot of physical activity in school so he's pretty fit, too. You can see that." Blaine answered quietly.

"I do but being a dancer and being fit doesn't equal the training you have. And Kurt was drunk that night, it seems highly unlikely to me that he was able to hold you down in this state." 

"But he did." 

Peter nodded. "Go on, then." 

"He didn't... The clothes stayed on the bed which is why they were dirty afterwards, he didn't care to toss them off the bed. He then... He was drunk, he didn't even care to prepare me, I don't know where the lube came from because I tried to shove him off myself the whole time. He just... He just started that..." 

"By 'that' you mean?" 

"He just started raping me." Blaine whispered and hid his face in his hands. Kurt shook his head. 

"I didn't do that." he said quietly. His hands were trembling hard, his breath was heavy. 

Peter looked at Kurt and raised his eyebrows. "Kurt, do you have your anxiety medication?" he asked calmly.

"I'm okay." Kurt answered surely. Peter looked at the judge. 

"I think we need a short break, this is getting too much for my client." 

The judge sighed and nodded. "Let's take ten minutes break then." 

Peter smiled at her and got back to the table. "Come on, your boyfriend is waiting outside." he said quietly and helped Kurt up. "Do you have that medication?"

Kurt went after Peter and shook his head. "No, but Adam has." 

"Okay." Peter opened the door for Kurt, letting him out first. Kurt looked at Adam and went to him immediately. Adam stood up and wrapped his arms around Kurt.

"Sweetheart, you're shaking." Adam whispered softly and rubbed Kurt's lower back. 

"I need my medication, I think." Kurt said quietly and blushed. "This is so hard to do." 

"I know. Come on." Adam took Kurt's hands and led him to the bench. "Your dad went to grab coffee, he won't be here for the next few minutes." 

"That's okay, I have only ten but tell him I'm okay, please?" 

"I will." Adam handed Kurt a water bottle and pills he took out from his bag. "Take it, sweetheart." 

Kurt smiled gratefully and swallowed one pill. "I hope this will help. I feel like this is too much, I don't know how to handle this, him telling everyone I raped him when I didn't." he babbled nervously.

Adam sighed and crouched down in front of Kurt.

"You know what happened and he can't change that. He cannot change the fact that you're a great person that would never hurt him like that." Adam said calmly as he stroked Kurt's knuckles with his thumbs. 

"I don't understand this, I don't understand how he can do this to me. I didn't do anything to him except breaking up with him." Kurt whispered in a trembling voice. 

"I'm so sorry, honey." Adam sat by Kurt's side, still holding his hands. He winced when he saw Blaine leaving the room. "Don't look there." Adam kissed Kurt's forehead. "You don't need to see this asshole." 

Kurt chuckled nervously at the word and kissed Adam's cheek. "I need to go back in a minute. I don't know how to hold it together anymore, Adam. I have to keep listening to him talking about this and I feel like I'm an awful person." 

"But it's not true, Kurt. You didn't do anything terrible, you're not the person he's describing." 

Kurt shuddered and bit his lip. "The worst part is that the only proof that wasn't truth is what I found out in the morning. Like, I don't remember details other than this." 

"I know, you were drunk. That happens sometimes, it's not the most responsible thing to do but everyone does it sometimes. It doesn't make you guilty of hurting Blaine, sweetheart. Now take a deep breath, stand up and go back in there because you can do it." Adam kissed Kurt gently and helped him up. "Remember to breathe, okay?" 

"I will. I want to be done with this so I don't need another day in a hospital." Kurt said with a smile and kissed Adam back. "Just a few more hours, right? You should go home and rest, Adam." 

"I'm fine with being here." Adam replied simply and pushed Kurt gently towards the room. "You can do it." 

Kurt looked at him and smiled weakly before joining Peter by the door. 

"Did you take your medication?" 

"Yeah, I did." Kurt nodded and they entered the courtroom together. Kurt sat at his place and they waited for Blaine and his lawyer as the judge was already there. 

"There's only a  little left, you can do it." Peter smiled, Kurt returned it weakly and crossed his legs at ankles under the table. He flinched when he heard Blaine enter and didn't look back, not looking at him until he sat down at the stand. 

"So, we can continue?" the judge asked and Kurt nodded.

"I'm sorry, yes, we can." he replied quietly.

"Continue then." she looked at Blaine. 

"When he started I gave up the fight. I was just in too much pain and it was too humiliating. It took him a few minutes, maybe ten to come and then he made me, too. He then went to sleep and I left the room to go to shower. I just had to leave the room where he was and the bathroom seemed better than going downstairs and having to face my parents." Blaine said quietly. He didn't once look up at Kurt.

"Do you think I could have just fallen asleep after this?" Kurt asked quietly. 

"You did. You were pretty drunk so you passed out immediately afterwards." Blaine replied simply. The mediator stood up and got close to the stand. They didn't need this to spiral out of control. 

Kurt shook his head. "I have sleeping problems, I can't just fall asleep easily lately. I have hard time believing, no matter what happened that night, that I just fell asleep easily." Kurt explained calmly. 

"You were trashed, Kurt. I don't know if it was the alcohol or exhaustion but you were out like a light." 

Kurt groaned and shook his head. "Where did I get condoms from?" he asked.

"I don't know, I was busy struggling with you." 

"I didn't have the condoms with me when I left the house so did you have some in your room? Because I did not have any." 

"Yeah, in the same place as always." Blaine shrugged. Kurt looked at Peter and bit his lip.

"Blaine, did Kurt really use a condom because according to the evidence there was semen residue with Kurt's DNA on your clothes." Peter explained calmly.

Blaine frowned and shook his head. "I told the nurse in a hospital that I don't think he really used one. As I said I was struggling with him at the time." 

"So there was no condom?"

"I don't think so, no." Blaine answered firmly.

Kurt sighed heavily. This was getting nowhere. Blaine's story did make sense, he had to admit it, but it wasn't truth. With no proof, though, Kurt had no arguments against it. 

"What happened in the morning?" Blaine's lawyer asked him. 

"My mom woke us up and then I told him what happened and he was angry at me so he stormed out. I stayed in my room for two days and then my mom found out what happened and took me to the hospital." 

"What about the phone call you made to Kurt?" Peter asked.

"I never called Kurt afterwards, I haven't felt like talking to him. You can check my phone any time." Blaine took his phone out of the pocket and offered it to the judge.

"It wasn't his number, so checking the phone won't help in any way." Kurt sighed and shook his head.  

Blaine rolled his eyes and took his phone out anyway. "There's one more thing, though." 

Kurt frowned and looked at Blaine with raised eyebrows. He couldn't think about anything else Blaine could say. He looked at Peter and bit his lip unsurely. He knew they needed the hearing to end as soon as possible so Blaine didn't make up any more lies. Kurt took a sip of water to make himself occupied.

 "Kurt said I was his only experience with men but it's not truth. A few days ago I found out he works as a prostitute." Blaine said firmly. 


	14. Chapter 14

Kurt put the glass down forcefully, shocked by Blaine's words. It broke and glass and water got all over Kurt's lap, some shards cutting into his hands. His eyes widened in panic and he didn't even notice the pain or the danger of having broken glass all over his legs. Peter rushed to Kurt's side.

"Kurt?"

He shook his head and looked up at Peter, who seemed worried.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Kurt tried to hide his face in his hands but Peter grabbed his hands by the wrists.

"Don't touch it, you'll hurt yourself."

The judge called the break and a few seconds later there was a cleaning person in thick rubber gloves by Kurt's side while Peter talked him out of the shock he was in.

"Just wait a few seconds more and we can talk, Kurt."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to break the glass, I made such a mess." Kurt whispered, not fighting Peter's hold on his wrists.

"I know, it's no big deal, the glass is replaceable." Peter said surely and then the man scooping the glass looked up.

"I think some glasses cut your legs, too." he said quietly. "You could use some medical help but I scooped all the free pieces out you can stand up now."

Kurt nodded and tried to stand and winced in pain in his thigh. Peter came close the judge and talked with her for a few seconds before nodding.

"We'll need half an hour break." she said as Peter went back to Kurt's side. "Are you able to walk?"

"I'm not sure." Kurt said quietly and looked at Peter.

"Let's get you to the hallway and we'll ask Adam for help."

The judge frowned and looked at the guard by the door. "Mr Flietze, could you help Mr Hummel and Mr Clemens to get to the medical ward?" she asked before leaving the room.

The guard came up to Kurt and with Peter they helped him out of the room. Adam got up as soon as he saw them and frowned at the sight of Kurt.

"Sweetheart, what's going on? Oh no, Kurt." his eyes widened as he saw blood on Kurt's hands and ripped pants of his suit. He rushed to their side and took the place of a guard. "What happened?"

"They know." Kurt whispered weakly and looked up at him. "Blaine knows."

"Oh, honey." Adam sighed and bent a little, grabbing Kurt's legs under his knees and pulling him up into his arms.

"Come on, I'll carry you wherever you need to go. What happened there?"

Kurt hid his face in Adam's shoulder, his hands away from their bodies so he didn't cause any more injuries. He was shaking and mumbling, not really able to talk. Peter sighed heavily as they followed the guard.

"He dropped the glass of water on himself when he heard what Blaine said." he explained. He didn't know what to think so he decided to wait until Kurt was able to talk.

Adam nodded and kissed Kurt's forehead. "You're going to be okay, sweetheart. You'll get help you need and you'll be fine."

Kurt shook his head and wrapped his arms around Adam's neck. "Nothing is okay, I'm so screwed, Adam." he whispered in a trembling voice.

Adam sighed heavily and held Kurt close. "I know it feels like this but I'm sure it's fixable, sweetheart." he looked at Peter.

"I can't tell you anything, only he can, you know that." Peter said firmly.

Adam nodded and kissed Kurt's temple as they reached the medical room. Adam entered it first and looked at the nurse there.

"Hi, we had a little accident here." he said with a worried smile.

"Come in." the nurse motioned at them. "What happened?"

Peter stepped up and looked at the nurse. "My client smashed his glass and it broke over his hand and thighs. There are some glass shards still in his palm."

The nurse raised her eyebrows and showed Adam the stretcher in the corner where he laid Kurt down while she left to get a doctor. The guard left the room after he wasn't needed anymore.   
  
Kurt looked at Adam and Peter with tears in his eyes. "This is bad." he whispered, not looking at his hands.

"You will probably need stitches, sweetheart but you'll be okay." Adam said in a soothing voice and stroked Kurt's hair gently.

"It's not that. Blaine knows about my job." Kurt said quietly and bit his lip. Adam winced and shook his head.

"Honey..."

"Everyone will know now, Adam. Everyone will know."

Peter raised his eyebrows and frowned.

"Kurt, are you saying that's truth?" he asked. Kurt bit his lip and looked down at his hands.

"I didn't know anyone knew. He had no way of knowing." Kurt whispered, not looking at Peter.

"And that's completely reasonable in this situation but you should have told me during the first meeting." Peter said firmly. Kurt saw he was angry and didn't really know how to deal with that.

"I know but I thought if no one found out it'd be okay."

"There's no such thing as a secret once you're here." Peter said angrily and crossed his hands at his chest.

Kurt sighed and closed his eyes. This was really unexpected and bad, he couldn't blame Peter for being angry at him now. He opened his mouth to say something but Peter shushed him as the nurse came back with a doctor. She asked Kurt for his insurance card and Adam handed it to her while she asked more questions about Kurt's health while the doctor numbed his hands with a spray and started taking out pieces of glass. Kurt winced at the first one, his hands might have been numbed but it still wasn't painless.   
  
"I'll have to stitch your fingers and then I'll take a look at your thighs. I don't see any glass shards there, though so they're probably just shallow scratches not actual cuts."

Kurt hissed as another glass shard was removed and bit his lip.

"You want to stitch me up here?" he asked in a trembling voice. Almost no one knew but he was actually terrified of needles so it made him really uncomfortable.

"Yes, we have all equipment here unless you'd prefer to go to a hospital?"

"No, it's okay here." Kurt sighed heavily and looked at Adam. "Can you stay here?"

"I will, don't worry." Adam smiled and carded his fingers through Kurt's hair.

"I won't, I need to make a few phone calls." Peter said firmly. "This complicates things for you, Kurt. And I need to do some damage control before it gets too late."

Peter left the room quickly. Kurt winced and looked at Adam unsurely.

"This is not good." he whispered.

Adam sighed and nodded. He wasn't going to lie to Kurt - it didn't look great that he'd lied to his lawyer and it meant more unexpected work for Peter so he just kissed Kurt's forehead.

"Kurt, I'm sure it'll all end well. It may be difficult for some time but it doesn't mean it's unfixable." he said softly and sighed when Kurt closed his eyes and shook his head. "Sweetheart..."

"I screwed up." Kurt said quietly.

"I know. How about you now try to calm down and we'll worry about it once you're stitched up." Adam proposed and smiled sadly.

Kurt nodded and sat up when prompted by the doctor.

"It doesn't look very good but I think none of your tendons are damaged. Can you move your fingers?" he asked.

"I think so, it just hurts to do." Kurt bent and straightened his fingers.

"It'll hurt for some time. I'd recommend getting ultrasound for these when you're free afterwards." the doctor advised.

Kurt nodded and bit his lips. "I will do that. Do you think there still may be some damage?" he asked unsurely.

"I doubt it but it's better safe than sorry. I'll numb your fingers with more spray so you don't feel much. I could put some local anaesthesia in your fingers but it involves injections and isn't that much more effective.”

"I'm good with spray." Kurt said nervously. Adam sat by his side and took his left, unhurt, hand.

"You're doing great." he whispered into Kurt's ear.

"I'm not." Kurt sighed and leaned against his side, trying to relax. Adam sighed and rubbed his shoulder soothingly while the doctor sprayed Kurt's fingers.

"It'll take a few minutes but hopefully not too long and you'll be good as new." the nurse said with a friendly smile.  
  
Kurt opened his eyes and smiled at her gratefully. Adam kissed Kurt's forehead again and made sure he held him close as the doctor started stitching Kurt's fingers. Kurt whimpered in pain and hid his face in Adam's shoulder. Adam cooed with a sad smile and kissed the top of his head. He held Kurt through the whole process and only once the stitches were done Kurt looked up at the doctor.   
  
"I put six stitches on your fingers and I'd really like to take a look on your thigh, if that's okay?" Kurt bit his lip and nodded slowly.

"Do I have to take off my pants?"

"That would be useful. Do you have anything to change into? They are torn in a few places."

Kurt frowned and looked down at his legs. "Oh no..." he sighed before standing up. Adam helped him take off his slacks and then sit down.

"I texted your dad to bring you some pants on his way from home." Adam smiled at Kurt and got out of the doctor's way.

"Thank you, Adam." Kurt smiled gratefully.

"It's nothing, sweetheart." he smiled back and kissed Kurt's temple.

~*~   
  
It took a few more minutes and bandaging his thigh before Kurt was able to get out of the medical ward. He put on his new pants and his fingers were splinted and afterwards Kurt was lead to the private room with Peter.

"How could you not tell me?" Peter looked at Kurt angrily.

"I didn't want this to get out. It's my job and I can't lose it if I'm ever going to get back out of here." Kurt said quietly.

"Well, if this goes the way Blaine and his lawyer probably plan it to, you won't get out of jail until you're not able to do this job anymore."

Kurt flinched and looked down at his hands, his fingers splinted and stitched, a little stiff ever since the doctor cleaned them up.

"Is this possible to still clean it up?" Kurt asked quietly and bit his lip.

"I'm already taking care of that, Kurt but this is so much worse now. You weren't honest with me and they know it. You also weren’t honest while giving your statement." Peter explained and sat at the other end of the table. "I wish you would’ve told me that before, Kurt."   
  
"I know..." Kurt nodded and sighed. "I never thought it was possible he knew. I didn't think anyone would know that."

Peter sighed heavily and took some papers from his bag. "I'm going to try and make them focus on something else but Blaine's lawyer is surely going to ask about it. They'll try to make you seem like a liar here and we have to make sure that's not going to be the rest of the hearing."   
  
Kurt nodded nervously. "Okay, I can show them my phone and prove he called me. Or at least that someone called me that evening."

"That's a good start, then. I'll dig harder into the missing condom problem. He's obviously covering up something there." Peter said and wrote it down. "What about your work, Kurt?"   
  
Kurt swallowed heavily and shook his head. "Do I have to talk about this?"

"Yes." Peter said firmly and looked at Kurt. "I need to know as much as I can."   
  
Kurt looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath. "I started working there soon after I moved to New York. I'm an escort, I have a contract with an agency but only as an entertainer. Officially, I go to dinners, I pretend to be someone's partner for the night, this kind of stuff. It's not all I do. Blaine had to see a website or something like it, I don't know but there are no traces because officially my job is innocent."   
  
"Can you give me any names?" Peter asked.

"No, I can't do that. I need to protect them or I'll get in a lot of trouble. I can't do that." Kurt whispered and bit his lip. "I'm sorry, I know it'd probably help but it may get bad."

"Are you in danger?"

"No, no, I'm not. And I don't want to be." Kurt replied surely.

"Okay, so you're safe now. How many clients have you had?"

"Oh, that's..."

"Be honest with me." Peter interrupted.

"It's been less than half a year, I'd say forty." Kurt shrugged and bit his lip. "But I'm not counting, Peter."

"So I guessed. About the experience, have you ever..." Peter winced, not knowing how to ask that one.

"I've never topped with my clients, no."

"So it wouldn't help you with what Blaine claims happened that night?"

"No, definitely not." Kurt replied quietly.

"Who knows about your job?" Peter asked and looked at Kurt. "This is really important because I need to know what to expect there."

"I do, obviously. Adam does, has ever since he came here. Brody, my roommate's boyfriend knows. He works for the same agency. My clients do. And well, apparently now Blaine does." Kurt shrugged. "But I don't know how it's possible."   
  
Peter nodded and wrote down everything. “Your dad?"

Kurt straightened his back and looked at Peter with wide eyes. "No. And he can't find out, Peter, he really cannot know about this." he whispered in a panicked voice.  
  
"I won't tell him, then. But he already knows something happened there because we need to work together here so you don't leave the court in handcuffs."

"Please, don't say that." Kurt asked in a shaking voice.

"That's the truth, Kurt. You messed this up, do you not understand that?"

"I do! But you're scaring me, I need to get out of here."

Peter huffed irritably. "I'm literally working miracles here, Kurt."

"I know and I'm grateful for it and I'll probably never manage to pay my dad back for this."

"It's not about money, Kurt. I do care about this case and I want you to be able to prove you're telling the truth but you have to start doing it."

"I told you everything, that's all I know."

"Okay then." Peter sighed heavily and stood up. "You're going to get there and ask to get on the stand before Blaine. You'll answer every question they ask you about your job. If Blaine has anything to say about it you will listen. You'll tell them you were too ashamed to admit what your work really is so you hid it from everyone."

"Okay." Kurt nodded and looked up at Peter. "Can I ask you something?'

"Of course."

"Do you really think I'll get arrested today?"

Peter winced and looked down at his papers, trying to gather his thoughts.

"We have a chance, Kurt. But I'm afraid there is a possibility you will be found guilty."  
  
Kurt bit his lip and nodded, looking down. "I'll go to jail, won't I?"

"I hope not." Peter smiled at Kurt. "I'm sorry, I know being angry at you doesn't help but this surprised me."

"I know, it's okay."

Peter smiled at Kurt and came close to pat his shoulder. "You'll be fine, we'll make sure of it."

Kurt shrugged and went to the door, he went towards the room where the hearing was taking place, followed by Peter. Adam and Burt were waiting there and Kurt smiled at them weakly. Adam came up to him and kissed him gently.

"You can do this." he whispered and let Kurt go to hug Burt.

"Son, what did you get yourself into?" Burt asked quietly and rubbed Kurt's back.

"It's going to be okay, dad." Kurt whispered and held him close. "I just wish we could be finished with this already."   
  
"I did everything Peter told me to do, you'll be free. Kurt."

"Thank you. I wish you didn't have to clean up my mess,"

"But that's what you have me for." Burt boomed and let go of Kurt. "Did you get painkillers?"

"Yeah, the nurse gave me some before I left the room. Dad, I need to get inside now." Kurt bit his lip. Burt nodded and kissed his forehead.

"Do your best, Kurt."

Kurt smiled at Adam and Burt and went into the room where everyone was waiting. He went to the stand while Peter talked to the judge and after a few minutes he was permitted to speak.

Kurt looked at her as he started speaking.

"I never told anyone about my job. I felt like no one could know, even Peter because I was ashamed. Even New York isn't that liberal, it was hard to expect people there to be okay with something like that. I don't think anyone knew and I didn't know it was relevant here." he explained in a quiet voice, not looking at Blaine.

"But you said you didn't have much experience." Blaine's lawyer looked at Kurt and crossed his hands at his chest.

"Most of my clients want a companion and those who I've done more with are always in charge of an intercourse."  

"So you think your job is irrelevant to this case?" Peter asked calmly.

"Yes, I never thought anyone would connect it to the accusation." Kurt smiled and fidgeted with his fingers but it made him hiss from pain immediately.

"About the call you said Blaine made." Peter changed the subject, seeing Kurt's nervousness over the topic. "You said it was made from an unfamiliar number, not Blaine's? Do you still have your calls history on your phone?"

"Yes, I do." Kurt tried to reach to his pocket with his right hand and frowned at the sharp pain in his fingers. He stood up and reached for it with his left hand, taking it out awkwardly before unlocking and entering his call records. He scrolled down and found the call from the day Blaine offered him the deal. "Here." he handed it to Peter who then took it to the judge. The judge looked at it then handed the phone over to Blaine and the lawyer.

"I never saw that phone number." Blaine said quickly and handed the phone back to Peter. "I was with my friend, Tina, that day."

Kurt scrunched his nose at that and looked at Blaine. "Tina is Blaine's friend, it's not her phone but if they had a pre-paid number she'd let him call from her place."

"You're just speculating here." Blaine's lawyer said.

Kurt bit his lip. "I'm just saying that wouldn't surprise me."

"Do you have any proof that this conversation happened?" she asked.

Kurt frowned and looked at Peter unsurely before looking at the judge.

"My boyfriend was in the room with me when I picked up the call. He didn't hear Blaine though, only my parts."

Peter looked at the judge. "Could we include Adam Crawford in the hearing then?"

She sighed heavily and looked through the paperwork on her table then at Blaine and his lawyer.

"I really don't see the point in continuing this. We've heard both sides of the story and I know everything I needed to know." the judge said. Kurt held in his breath and looked at her nervously.  "There's not enough evidence to process to a trial but there's obviously a lot of tension between sides so I'll issue a restraining order. As of today Kurt Hummel cannot get closer than 100 feet from Blaine Anderson. I hope this will stop conflicts from happening in the future."

Kurt let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in and stood up to go back to Peter's side while the judge left.

"I'm free?" he whispered with relief.

"You are." Peter smiled at him.

"I can't..."

"Come on." Peter lead Kurt out of the room before Blaine even managed to get up from his seat. As soon as he saw him Kurt went to hug Burt immediately. He ignored Blaine's parents sitting nearby and focused on his own family.

"Dad, I'm free." he whispered in a trembling voice. Burt held Kurt close and breathed out with relief.  Kurt's body was tense and when Burt let go of him there were tears in Kurt's eyes. He smiled despite it before going to hug Adam. Adam wrapped his arms around Kurt and kissed the top of his head. Burt and Peter went towards the exit to give Kurt and Adam more privacy.

"You're okay, sweetheart. You're free, everything is going to be okay." Adam whispered in a soothing voice. "Don't cry, Kurt."

"I'm not crying, I'm not unhappy." Kurt whispered and leaned on Adam more. He tried not to hurt his splinted fingers. Adam held Kurt until he stopped shaking in his arms and only then let him step back and smiled. Kurt bit his lip and looked up at Adam who reached to Kurt's face and wiped out his tears with his sleeve. "You're so good to me."

Adam shook his head. "You're so worth it."

They both looked behind Kurt when the door opened and Blaine and his lawyer walked out. Blaine's parents immediately jumped up to meet him. Kurt couldn't hear their conversation but the minute he saw Pam coming in their direction he took the step back.

"Oh no." he whispered and reached for Adam's hand. Adam squeezed his uninjured hand and took a step forward, practically shielding Kurt's body with his own.

"How much money did you pay for this?!" Pam asked angrily.

"I didn't do anything." Kurt whispered in a trembling voice.  

"You raped him and you're getting away with it!"

"With all due respect, Mrs Anderson I think it'll be better if you stayed away from Kurt" Adam said calmly and reached to Kurt's back to rub it soothingly. "Everyone is quite emotional right now and you screaming isn't helping."

Pam stepped up, getting closer to them but Blaine came over and grabbed her arm.

"Mom, it's not worth it. Stop." he said quietly.

"He hurt you, Blaine."

"I know but he's not worth getting arrested over. Let's go."

Kurt squeezed Adam's hand harder.  

Adam looked at Kurt and kissed his forehead before turning around. He wrapped his arm around Kurt's back to shield his body away from Andersons.

"You know, you're dating a rapist, I hope you're prepared to get hurt!" Blaine called after them. Adam stopped and clenched his jaw before letting go of Kurt to turn around to look at Blaine.

"What did you say?" he asked quietly.

"He's dangerous." Blaine answered angrily. "He'll use you, hurt you and then abandon you when he's bored."

Adam shook his head and let go of Kurt's hand to step closer to Blaine.

"Listen, you think you can get away with all your lies and for now it'll work. But life isn't like that. You can't harass people into submission when they have different ideas than you. You cannot accuse someone of rape because they don't want to date you. This may work for you now but one day you'll realise it's not working anymore. Quite frankly I hope this happens soon because what you've done to Kurt is disgusting. So for your own good, leave us alone. Because your loss is my gain and no amount of pretending will change the fact that you're jealous of me." The whole time Adam's voice was calm and quiet, his anger suppressed. Kurt reached to grasp Adam's shoulder with his healthy hand.

"Let's go." he urged.

"Whatever you want, sweetheart." Adam whispered and kissed Kurt's forehead before gently prying away Kurt's fingers from his shoulder and taking his hand. Kurt's hand was shaking and Adam knew it was better to get away from there than continue the fight.

They joined Burt and Peter by the door and left the courthouse quickly.

"I can't believe this, how he can act like this!" Burt said angrily as soon as they were out of the building.

Kurt sighed and looked at him. "Dad, this is not worth getting angry over, I don't want you to get upset over this, you're sick."

"I'm fine, Kurt. I've been fine through this whole thing so you need to stop worrying. I'm the parent here." Burt looked at Kurt seriously. "I had to see you getting arrested, I had to visit you in a hospital and now you're hurt again."

"I'm going to be fine." Kurt said surely and let go of Adam's hand to come closer to Burt. "My fingers will heal and everything will be okay."

"It just makes me really angry that they can do this to you for no reason." Burt boomed.

"I know, dad. And I know it was difficult for all of us and there's still stuff we have to handle but I'm not in jail. And I don't want you to care about a stupid kid and his lies." Kurt smiled at him.

"You're right. As usual." Burt fixed his cap and looked at Peter. "We'll see you at our house, right?"

"Yes. We can discuss what's left to be done." Peter nodded with a smile and went to his car. Kurt followed his dad and boyfriend to Burt's car. He reached to open the door and hissed when his fingers hurt. The painkillers were already wearing off and Kurt still wasn't used to the stitches.

"No, let me." Adam opened the door for Kurt. "Is your hand okay?" he took Kurt's hand and looked at his splinted fingers before kissing every one of them gently.

"I'm okay, I just forgot." Kurt smiled at Adam and sighed softly. "You're just too good."

"You keep saying it and that's not true. Come on, hop in before your dad leaves without us."  

Kurt chuckled and got inside carefully. Once the car started he looked at Burt and bit his lip.

"Dad, why is Peter coming over?" he asked unsurely.

"There's still a lot we need to discuss. You don't have to stay with us for it, though, if you want to rest."

"It's about money, isn't it?" Kurt sighed heavily and closed his eyes.

"Kurt, it's not something you should be worried about. I've got it under control." Burt said firmly.

"I'll pay you all of it back, I promise. It may take me some time but I'll do it."

"You will do no such thing. This is something I decided to deal with and I'm doing it. I know you're an adult now but you're my child so if I want to take care of you I will."

Kurt smiled and moved closer to Adam. He was grateful for Burt's help but at the same he really didn't want to cause his dad any trouble.

Adam quickly wrapped his arm around Kurt and held him close. He was there for support and was going to give as much of it as was possible. There was no doubt Kurt was still in fragile state, his hands shaking slightly as they cuddled on the back seat. Burt let them rest in peace and put on some gentle music. They were going to talk but they had time for that later. Kurt was not going to New York yet so it could wait.

~*~

Adam jogged downstairs after Kurt drifted off. They got home and as soon as Carole and Finn found out about the news and hugged Kurt he excused himself and went to his room. Adam had cuddled Kurt until he managed to fall asleep and then joined the rest downstairs.

"He's asleep." he announced and immediately went to the counter with a kettle. "I don't want to interrupt you so I'll only make some tea for myself and go upstairs to study."

"You can stay here, Peter will come soon but that doesn't mean you have to stay upstairs." Carole said with a smile.

"Thank you but I really need to study right now. I've been putting it off for some time but I have to take finals in May and I cannot let myself slip right now." Adam answered politely as he poured water into the kettle.

"It may take some time before Kurt will be able to go back to New York, are you sure you can wait that long?" Burt spoke up from his place at the top of the table.

"My return can wait. I've been in touch with my teachers, I'm up to date with work." Adam got busy with preparing tea. He put the tea bags in the cups. Didn't hurt to make some tea for Kurt as well in case he woke up early. "Do you maybe have a travel mug somewhere? I'd make tea for Kurt in it so it'll stay warm."

"There should be one at the top shelf in a cupboard. The black one? With blue stripes." Carole replied with a smile.

"Thank you." Adam took it and put one of the tea bags in it. He poured water into the mugs when it boiled and put some sugar in his and after a second of hesitation in Kurt's too. He didn't want to disrupt Kurt's diet but it sounded like a better choice in the situation. Kurt'd barely eaten in the previous day and he was exhausted, he could use some energy. "I'm going to take this upstairs but you know where to find me if I'm needed."


	15. Chapter 15

Adam was finishing his essay for English theatre history when Kurt moved on the bed, closer to Adam but then he jerked against his side. Adam put the laptop on the bedside table and turned to look at Kurt.

"Sweetheart?" he whispered softly.

Kurt whined and moved away from him. "Don't touch me." he begged quietly and hid his face in a pillow. "Blaine, don't touch me, please."

"Oh, angel." Adam sighed and touched Kurt's shoulder. "Wake up, sweetie."

"No, don't touch me." Kurt jerked away from Adam and curled on his side. "I don't want to go to jail." he whimpered.

Adam bit his lip and looked around. He didn't want to distress Kurt more but he was obviously already panicking. Adam reached over and stroked Kurt's hair. "Wake up, right now, angel." he said firmly. Kurt jerked away from him again and Adam shook his shoulder. "Wake up, come on."

Kurt opened his eyes, breathing quickly. "Adam." he whispered in a hoarse voice.

"Hey, there." Adam reached back and stroked Kurt's hair again. He swiped some hair out of Kurt's face. "Nightmare?"

"Yeah, I was in a court." Kurt explained with a sigh and moved closer to Adam to rest his head on his thigh. "He wanted to..." he swallowed heavily.

"Oh no, sweetheart. Come up here." Adam opened his arms for Kurt and curled up and rest against his chest. "It's all over now and you're safe."

Kurt sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Adam stroked his back as Kurt's breathing slowed down and his tense muscles relaxed.

"This is going to haunt me forever, Adam. I want to move on but it feels like I'm stuck in this place and I can't be free."

"Sweetheart." Adam sighed heavily again and kissed the top of Kurt's hair. "As soon as we're in New York you'll be able to do that. I know it'll take time but it's possible and I'll be there every step of the way to help you."

Kurt smiled sadly and nodded. "Can we go to New York today?" he asked weakly. Adam chuckled warmly and shook his head.

"Not yet but soon. We need to talk to your family and then make arrangements for the flight and school."

Kurt groaned suddenly and hid his face in Adam's shoulder. He kept forgetting about one more problem he had to deal with. He didn't answer a few calls from Andrew, not sure what to say and he knew he was going to have to call him back finally. He needed the job and if he was going to get kicked out finding a new one was going to be a struggle.

"I need to call my boss. And Isabelle. And I need to make excuses for school."

 "I think with NYADA the best thing is to be honest with them. If Blaine still plans to apply there they will probably find out anyway. I mean they have no legal right to ask but that won't stop Blaine from telling them." Adam said softly as he stroked Kurt's hair. "But that can be taken care of when we're in New York, don't worry about it yet, okay?"

 Kurt nodded and bit his lip. He reached for the cup standing on the bedside table.

 "The travel mug is yours if you want something warmer but you're welcome to drink my tea as well."

 Kurt smiled and kissed Adam's cheek as he took the travel mug carefully with his left hand. "You're a life saver."

 "Do you want to go downstairs for dinner later?" Adam asked as he reached back for his laptop to continue the work while Kurt got out of the bed and went to shower. He was already looking for flights back to New York, ready to book the tickets as soon as Kurt said they could go back. He was all for waiting as long as it was needed but he wanted to be ready. As he was finishing bookmarking a few airline websites Kurt came out of the shower. "You didn't answer my question earlier."

"I don't know." Kurt shrugged and went to the mirror in the corner. He only had a towel wrapped around his hips but he wasn't shy about his body around Adam. "I'm not sure I can handle eating with them right now. The disappointment..."

"No one is disappointed in you." Adam said quickly and looked at Kurt over his screen. "No one is angry at you."

Kurt sighed and turned around with a frown. "This is not so easy. I know they're aware I didn't rape Blaine and they're not thinking I did. But it doesn't change the fact this situation is a little more complicated than that. My dad probably had to pay a lot of money for this. I don't know how I'll pay him back if I don't have a job and just... I'm causing more bad than good."

Adam put the laptop to the side and got up from the bed. He went to stand behind Kurt and wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist. "You're not a bother to anyone, sweetheart."

"Sometimes it doesn't feel like that." Kurt leaned against Adam's chest. Adam sighed and stroked Kurt's stomach with his thumb.

"But you are not. How's your hand?"

"Hurting and itching both, it's irritating." Kurt frowned and looked at his splinted fingers. They were bothering him ever since the shower even though he didn't use them at all during it, which made cleaning his body actually quite difficult.

"Your fingers are going to heal, sweetheart. In the meantime I'm around to help you with whatever you need." Adam kissed the top of Kurt's head.

"I'm going to put on some clothes for now if you can help me with that and then we can go downstairs to talk to my dad."

"Of course."

~*~

"I'm just wondering what happened there. It seemed like everything was going okay and then you came out and said Kurt needs help immediately."

"I know that. But he's my client and if he's not ready to tell you then I can't discuss the matter.

Kurt stopped on the stairs, almost making Adam crash into his back. He knew Peter promised not to tell Burt but he had to be sure. Adam looked at Kurt unsurely.

"Sweetheart?"

"Shhh." No one in the living room could know they were there. Adam frowned but stood behind Kurt, listening.

"I'm the one who's paying you." Burt's voice was firm and the hint of anger made Kurt ache to go to the kitchen and help him calm down.

"Yes, but you're paying me to defend Kurt not you. That makes him my client now and I have to keep his secret. It's just how this works, Burt."

Kurt could hear his dad huff angrily and looked at Adam uncertainly.

"Peter can't tell him." Adam assured softly.

Kurt nodded and Adam took his hand gently to lead him to the kitchen.

"Hello." Kurt smiled and looked at everyone in the kitchen. Carole, Burt and Peter were sitting by the table, drinking coffee.

"Hey, we were just talking about you." Carole smiled warmly. "Do you want some coffee?"

"No, thank you, I had some tea upstairs. I heard you talking. Dad, you can't push Peter like that, it's unfair. I asked him to keep my secrets and that's what he is doing. And I will pay you back for this whole ordeal, I told you already." Kurt said firmly and went to sit by the table, only then letting go of Adam's hand. Adam sat on the chair next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Then talk to me, Kurt!" Carole winced and reached to take Burt's hand. He needed to be calm and everyone in the room was painfully aware of that. Kurt sighed heavily and shook his head. "What did you get into?"

"Nothing, dad!"

Peter looked at Kurt and then at Burt and stood up. "I think I'll get going. I have everything I needed, the case is closed, I don't need to impose myself on you anymore."

"I'll walk you out to the door." Burt stood up and they both left. Kurt slumped against the chair.

"You need to talk to your father, you need to tell him what happened." Carole said firmly. "He worries and it's not healthy."

Kurt groaned and shook his head. "You can't do this, you can't use his health against me. This whole mess, I didn't do this."

"I know that."

"Do you? Because you're acting like I've done something wrong here when this is all Blaine's fault." Kurt said icily.

Adam winced and reached to wrap his arm around Kurt's back. "Sweetheart, you need to calm down, it doesn't help anyone to get angry now."

"I know but everyone's acting like I'm lying about this but I am not. I didn't rape Blaine!"

"I know you didn't." Carole said quietly.

"Then act like you do!" Kurt was aware he was probably lashing out on her unfairly but the suggestion that he was hurting Burt's health was as bad.

Carole sighed and stood up to put her mug in the sink. "I'm not blaming you for this, I don't think you raped Blaine but something happened in that courtroom and it threw everyone over the edge. You have stitches in your fingers, Kurt."

"I know I have stitches. I was stressed, I hurt myself when drinking water and accidentally broke the glass because I was nervous, that's all."

Adam kissed Kurt's shoulder. He knew it was difficult to Kurt to try answering all the questions without telling everyone about his job. He also slowly started realising why telling Kurt's parents about the agency wasn't a viable choice.

"We just want to help you, Kurt." Carole said softly. 

"I know. And you're doing plenty, Carole, I'm so grateful, I cannot explain how much. But I just want this part to be over with and everyone keeps bringing it back, it's not helping. I almost went to jail because of Blaine and I just want to forget." Kurt said quietly in a trembling voice.

Carole sighed and rubbed her temples and looked at him. "I'm really sorry it happened to you, Kurt."

"I know you are, I'm sorry. I'll go talk to dad, since Peter will be gone in soon we can have some peace in a living room and then we can start on dinner, okay?" Kurt stood up carefully, kissed Adam's cheek and smiled at Carole before leaving the kitchen.

Adam sighed heavily and looked after him before focusing on Carole.

"He's stressed, this has taken a lot out of him." Adam spoke calmly. "Kurt is scared, it's not my place to tell you this but I think someone has to. He's afraid he's being judged and I know it's not truth but being arrested, being in court, this has been harder on him than you realise. Kurt's self-conscious about himself right now and trying to push him won't help."

Carole rubbed her neck awkwardly. They never really thought about that, how it all could influence Kurt's self esteem. Everyone explained enough times for him to know they didn't believe Blaine but no one considered other effects of this accusation. "Do you think he's going to be okay?"

"I don't know, I can't say he's going to be okay and be sure of that. I can however hope and I can believe in him because he's incredibly strong and brave and he's been handling this extraordinarily well."

"He is and I am proud of him for it. But we worry and it seems like he's keeping some big secret."

"I don't know about any secret Kurt keeps away from you." Adam said firmly. He wasn't fully okay with lying to Kurt's family but he knew that was what Kurt wanted and he was going to help even if made him feel uncomfortable. They could talk about it later but for now he had to protect Kurt from unnecessary questions.

Carole nodded and sat back by the table. "So we should leave him alone?"

"I don't know about leaving him alone but I think you could try not pressuring him anymore. It would certainly help him." Adam answered carefully.

"I wasn't trying to hurt him." Carole said with a sigh. She was hoping to be able to help Kurt get better but instead she made it worse.

"I know that. And I'm sure Kurt does too. He's lashing out because this is a difficult situation and everyone keeps pushing him. I can't imagine how he feels right now."

Carole nodded and looked in the direction of the living room. "I"m glad you're around." she said to Adam quietly.

"I'm lucky he lets me be. Don't get me wrong, I love Kurt and I'm happy to be here. But for him, it's not so easy. He's been hurt by Blaine more than once and trusting for Kurt is really difficult now. I'm doing as much as I can but recovering from this will be more complicated than everyone thinks. I am not going to leave him though, I'm going to stay by his side all the way through it. But only if he wants me and he lets me, I'm not going to force him into anything." Adam smiled at Carole and stood up, feeling a little awkward sitting there doing nothing. He went to the fridge and started preparing a sandwich. Moving helped with awkwardness, sitting by the table made him feel a little like he was being interrogated.

"Are you hungry?" Carole asked with a frown.

"Not really but I expect Kurt to be once he lets himself feel it." Adam smiled sadly. Kurt sometimes forgot to eat or drink enough and he was well aware of that. Kurt once had said he didn't feel hunger when in rush or stressed and Adam suspected it was one of these situation so he planned to help out.

"You seem like such a good boyfriend to him."

"Thank you, I'm trying to be." Adam smiled at her over his shoulder.

~*~

When Peter left Kurt went up to Burt.

"Can we talk?" he asked quietly.

"We can." Burt boomed and looked at Kurt. "Are you ready to tell me everything?"

"Yeah, I guess. Come on." Kurt went to the living room and sat on the armchair, curling his legs under himself. He looked around the room. There were pictures of him with his mom on the fireplace mantle that had been there for years. Not much changed since Kurt moved out, some pictures were added but none of pictures were taken down.

"So, talk?" Burt hinted from his place on the couch, which startled Kurt a little.

"Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to tell you I'm not keeping anything important from you, I promise." Kurt said quietly.

"Then what do you want to talk about?"

"I never told you about the trial, really." Kurt explained softly and uncurled his legs from under himself and sat more comfortably. "Things Blaine said in the court, they were painful to me…”

"Hold on, did you get hurt because Blaine talked about your and his history?"

Kurt nodded without a word. He had to say something to make everyone calm down and stop asking with questions and if it was saying Blaine talking about their sexual history was what had thrown Kurt over the edge, he was going to do that.

"I don't want to know details, Kurt." Burt said firmly. "I'm not sure I'm ready to listen about your intimate life with boys."

Kurt winced and drew his knees to his chest. "Is it because it's about the boy?"

"Kurt, you gotta give me a break. I love you but this whole thing is a lot to take." Burt explained and leaned against the armrest of the couch. "I know you're dating and I know you're with guys, it's not that I am against it but intimate details, they're a little bit too much."

Kurt nodded and sighed heavily. "So... Are we going to be okay?"

"We are okay, buddy. I'm just really worried about you but this is my role as a parent, to want to take care of you."

"I've been taking care of myself quite alright lately." Kurt replied dryly.

"Hey, don't give me this attitude now. It's not fair. I offer you all the help, I've been doing everything I could to save you from this mess." 

"And I'm grateful for that. But I don't want you to have to pay for it, I want to pay you back because this is all my fault. I got into this mess by dating Blaine and then breaking up with him."

"It's not your fault that kid is insane."

"But it is my fault that I dated someone so stupid. That I let him fool me into thinking he was a good person when it's obviously untrue." Kurt huffed and stood up. "But it's done now. And I'll try my best to give you back all the money you spent on me."

"I told you, I can handle it. You're a student, you need to focus on your life in New York, on your studies. That what matters the most to me right now." Burt replied firmly, got up and stood in front of his son. "You need to learn as much as you can in this fancy school of yours so one day you can afford anything you want to have. I don't want you to pay me back for this."

Kurt could feel tears already pooling in his eyes and bit his lip. "Thank you, dad." he whispered and hugged him tightly.

"I just want you to be happy because I won't be here forever."

"Don't say that.” Kurt frowned.

"But it's truth." Burt patted Kurt's shoulder. "I'm here and I am not going anywhere. But one day I won't be here to protect you and I want you to be ready then. So do everything you can now to prepare." he said firmly before leaving the room.

Kurt bit his lip and looked after him sadly but his face brightened up the second Adam entered the room.

“Hey there, how did it go?” Adam asked with a warm smile as he came closer to wrap his arms around Kurt’s middle.

“Better than I thought.” Kurt murmured and leaned against Adam’s chest. “But I hate lying to them. I wish I could just admit to what I’m doing.”

“You know what I’m thinking, Kurt.”

“Yeah but you saw him. He’s already worried and if he found out what I was doing to get all the money he hasn’t had to spend on me in the past months… I don’t want him to have to know. I don’t want him to think any less of me.” Kurt sighed sadly and closed his eyes.

“I doubt he would. But it’s your choice. I told Carole there’s nothing you’re hiding from them if that’s okay?”

“Yes, thank you. I’m sorry you had to do this.”

“It is fine.” Adam rubbed the small of Kurt’s back and smiled down at him. “As long as you’re okay with this decision I'll do as much as I can to help you.”

“You’re really amazing.’ Kurt sighed and stepped back from Adam.

“I’m decent, you’re just not used to be treated kindly.” Adam kissed Kurt’s cheek. “But you deserve to be.”


	16. Chapter 16

It took Kurt another week until he was sure he could go back to New York. He took that time to finish all the things that became irrelevant the night of his arrest. He missed the performance New Directions threw for the alumni who came back for the wedding because he didn’t get an invitation. Figuring out why wasn’t hard - especially after he got a few nasty texts from his former high school peers. After the first few texts Adam sat by Kurt's side and gently took his phone from his hand.

"Come on, sweetheart, you don't need this." Adam said firmly and put Kurt's phone on the floor behind himself.

"They hate me now." Kurt sighed heavily and leaned against Adam's chest, abandoning underwear he was trying (and failing) to fold with one hand. Adam held Kurt without a word. There was nothing he could say because what Blaine did seemed to ruin all Kurt's old friendship and there were no words to cheer him up. After a few minutes Kurt straightened up and sighed sadly.

"Well, it's their loss. I can make new friends and I can get myself together."

"You can do that, sweetheart." Adam said warmly and kissed Kurt's forehead. "And you didn't lose everyone."

"I know." Kurt smiled and sniffled. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome."

~*~

Burt drove Kurt and Adam to the airport. He didn't completely agree with their decision to go back to New York but he knew Kurt was fully able to make a decision for himself, no matter how he felt about it. Kurt spent the whole ride sleeping on the front seat, tired after one more sleepless night. Burt looked at Adam, who was typing on his laptop.

"Take care of him there." he said quietly, startling the man a little.

"I will." Adam said firmly and put his laptop in the computer bag. "I really do care about him."

"I've noticed. And I'm glad you stayed when everyone else left."

Adam smiled and nodded. "I can't imagine doing anything else. He's not guilty here and what Blaine's done disgusts me."

Burt nodded with a sad smile. "It's sad you're the only one who thinks that."

"Well, yeah. But I'm sticking around. And in New York Kurt can easily find new friends. He's living there anyway, so there's no reason to just focus on what happened here." Adam said calmly.

"You're quite smart, aren't you?"

Adam chuckled and nodded. "Well, I try to be. I've had my dose of experience, not all of it happy. Nothing as bad as Kurt's of course. Sometimes I think he's a very good person that happens to go through a lot of painful stuff. It's very unfair but he's pulling through it. Because he's stronger than that."

Kurt stirred on the front seat and opened his eyes. "Dad...?"

"Hi, buddy." Burt chuckled and reached to ruffle Kurt's hair.

"Hey, no messing up the hair." Kurt mumbled and looked at the back seat. "Adam?"

"I'm here." Adam smiled and reached to rub Kurt's shoulder. "We're almost at the airport, you slept the whole way here."

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't the best trip company."

"It's fine, buddy. We can talk anytime on the phone and I think we'll visit you soon." Burt said firmly and stopped by the terminal. "Can you two get your stuff and get inside without my help? I'll park the car."

"Sure." Kurt got out of the car and went to the trunk to take out his suitcases, quickly followed by Adam. He tried to protest when his boyfriend took most of the bags but Adam shushed him quickly.

"Come on, sweetheart, let me show off." he joked with a smile. Kurt nodded and smiled, actually grateful for help. He kept getting ahead of himself and forgetting his one hand was completely useless. He took his laptop bag and went after Adam into a terminal. They checked in their luggage and waited for Burt so Kurt could say goodbye. As soon as they saw him Adam kissed Kurt's temple and got in line for security after saying goodbye to Burt.

"I'll miss you, dad." Kurt said quietly when they were left alone.

"I will miss you, too. I'll visit you in New York sometime soon, okay?"

"Sure, just let me know this time, okay? I'll probably need to move some time soon, the place may be smaller than Bushwick apartment." Kurt smiled sadly.

"Rachel can't kick you out." Burt protested quickly.

"Maybe not but I don't know that. And I'm not sure I'll want to live with her after she finds out from Blaine what allegedly happened. I'll have to figure it out. Just, warn me, okay?" Kurt asked.

"Of course. And you let me know how this thing with Rachel goes." Burt said firmly and hugged Kurt. "One more thing."

"Yeah?" Kurt frowned and looked at Burt unsurely.

"If you need to, find someone to talk when you get there."

"Dad, I have Adam..." Kurt frowned.

"I mean a professional. Someone, who can help you deal with this. It may not be easy, what Blaine's done is awful and it'll still have some consequences." Burt sighed. "Just promise me, if you need this you'll find someone?"

"I will, dad. But I doubt it'll be necessary."

Burt nodded and hugged Kurt again. "Be safe, buddy."

"I always am. I'll call you when I get home, okay?"

"If you don't I'll fly there to yell at you so you better do that."

Kurt chuckled and rubbed his eyes, trying to stop the tears from spilling.

"You've gotta go, buddy. We'll see each other as soon as possible." Burt smiled and patted Kurt's shoulder, pushing him towards the security. Kurt sighed and got out his ID and ticket before going to the security check. He bent to take off his shoes and hissed at the pain in his splinted fingers as he tried to untie his shoes.

He swore under his breath and slipped them off without untying before putting them in the box along with his laptop and bag. Then he went through the security and winced as the gate beeped.

"Your belt." the guard said quickly after looking at Kurt, he pointed at the gate for him to go back.

"I can't take it off by myself." Kurt said quickly and pointed at his stitched fingers.

"Okay, we can check you with the small detector if that's the problem."

"If it's possible."

He motioned at Kurt to come closer and checked him with a small detector, it only beeped at Kurt's waist.

"Okay, you can go but next time let the airlines know you'll need assistance." the security guy said firmly.

"I will, sorry for causing problems." Kurt said quickly and grabbed his shoes and laptop bag and went to the bench where Adam was waiting.

"Sorry, I forgot I shouldn't wear those shoes." Kurt said quietly and blushed slightly.

"Oh, sweetheart, come on, sit down, I'll help you. I forgot you might need help when I came here."

"I'm fine." Kurt sat down and looked at the floor, ashamed. He didn't want to be so hopeless anymore. Adam crouched down and untied Kurt shoes before helping him put them on and tying them.

"Don't be ashamed, sweetheart." Adam said softly and kissed Kurt's forehead. "It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"It's embarrassing. I'm going to have to figure out something for school and Vogue. I'm not even thinking about my job." Kurt sighed and stood up.

"Come on, I got us some tea for the wait." Adam stood up after him and grabbed two cups standing by the bench.

"Thank you." Kurt kissed Adam's cheek and they went together to the gate, waiting for their plane.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm semi-back if anyone is still here to read the rest of the story. It's too long to explain why I disappeared but I really want to finish this so... here goes.

The day after their arrival to New York Kurt woke up early. He got up carefully so as not to wake Adam and went to put on some clothes. He had to settle on a simple hoodie and sweat pants because of his hand. Kurt wrote a note to Adam and went to kiss his cheek before putting the note on the bedside table and leaving the apartment.

He planned to go both to Vogue office and then NYADA before noon and in the evening go meet up with Andrew, who he already texted, making clear he can't work yet but needs to meet up. His boss wasn't overjoyed but agreed to meet in the hotel and that was what really counted, so Kurt still had hope he'd keep his job. He sighed as he entered the subway, and there were no free seats. Normally, it wouldn't be a big deal but with only one hand fully functioning

Kurt didn't really feel safe while standing. He leaned against the rail in the middle of the aisle and tapped his foot, waiting for the train to get to his destination. As soon as he got to his station Kurt left the subway. He went into a coffee shop at the street corner and bought coffee for himself and a few coworkers.

Caroline, the receptionist waved at him as he entered. "Hi, Kurt! We missed you." she smiled brightly.

"Hi, Caroline." he put the tray with the cups on her desk. "Sorry, I can't hand you one."

"What happened to you?" she frowned and took one of the cups.

"Long story, I'm supposed to meet with Isabelle, so I better get going." Kurt waved at her and took the tray and got on an elevator.

When he got upstairs Isabelle was talking on the phone. She noticed him and asked him to wait in the hallway. Kurt smiled at Chase as he came up to him.

"Hey, coffee?" he asked cheerfully.

"Kurt, hello! We missed you here." Chase took the coffee and stood by Kurt. "Where did you go for so long?"

"I was home." Kurt sighed heavily. "Just as I told you. Things got complicated..."

"Your hand certainly looks like something complicated happened to it." Chase raised his eyebrows.

"It's a long story. I'm sure I'll tell you one day but definitely not today, as Isabelle obviously is ready for me." Kurt smiled and got inside his boss' office.

"Kurt, honey, we've missed you."

"I'm sorry, Isabelle. I know I used all of my free time for the planned time trip and then I didn't show up on time. And my explanation wasn't really that convincing." Kurt sighed heavily and sat on a chair Isabelle motioned to. He offered her the last coffee that wasn't Kurt's and she took it with a grateful smile.

"Well, I knew you wouldn't miss work for any reason that wasn't really important so I was waiting for you to come back and explain. You said family emergency, is your dad okay?" Isabelle said calmly.

Kurt smiled and bit his lip. "Yeah, My dad's fine. And I do have an explanation." he leaned on a chair and told Isabelle the whole story. He didn't know if she was going to believe him but he didn't want to lie either. But Isabelle's reaction surprised him. As soon as he was done she stood up and went to hug him. Kurt's whole body tensed immediately.

"I never liked that guy." Isabelle murmured and rubbed Kurt's back. "But you're okay now, right?"

"I'm fine, Isabelle." Kurt said surely and stepped back. "I just need my head to heal before I can do any projects, I can type so I can come back to work as soon as you need me, I may just be a little slow."

"Are you sure you don't want to take some time off? Compose yourself, have time to get yourself together, get your hand better." Isabelle offered as they sat back in their chairs.

"No, thank you, Isabelle but if it's not too inconvenient for you I'd like to come back as soon as possible. I need to get to work when you'll have me."

"Well, there's some work I could have for you concerning out new project..."

~*~

"Madame Tibideaux?" Kurt looked into her office after her assistant told him to go in. "Am I interrupting?"

"Mr Hummel, I was expecting you almost two weeks ago. Everyone was, actually."

Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Yes, I tried to explain in the email, it was an emergency, I couldn't return any earlier."

"I know. I'm not surprised, I can imagine typing an email while arrested might be a little difficult." Tibideaux replied calmly and looked up at Kurt. He took a step back, surprised. "No one from the staff knows or will find out. Unless there's media coverage, of course. That's not up to me and I obviously have no control over press. Which is why I'm going to let you go now, quietly."

Kurt felt like the ground was suddenly gone from under his feet. He expected to have to work hard to make up the time, but never expected to be kicked out without warning and being kicked out from NYADA would ruin his chances of getting into another great school. He sat down in the nearest chair and took a deep breath.

"Madame Tibideaux, please, you can't do this."

"Well, maybe you should have thought about that before doing what you did." his teacher replied coolly.

Kurt swallowed heavily and shook his head.

"This isn't fair..." he whispered and stood up slowly.

"You can't exactly attend your classes from the jail."

"I'm innocent." Kurt said firmly.

Tibideaux looked up at Kurt again.

"That is know what I heard."

"From Blaine?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Well, he's applied to study here and he's informed me that we'll need special precautions if you two are going to study in the same school. And it's why it's going to be better for everyone if you're not here anymore. I can't have someone threatening my students in this school." she replied and sighed deeply.

"Blaine just wants to get me kicked out from school. Actually, he just wants to ruin my life altogether. I didn't hurt him, I'm not a threat at all."

"Mr. Hummel, this is a really difficult situation. You being accused of raping anyone is bad enough, those charges are not light. It's even worse if it's a potential NYADA student." the dean said calmly and motioned at the chair for Kurt to sit on. He sat in front of her, his hands still shaking. "We'd have to make sure your classes take place at different times and in this situation, it's not good for anyone if you are going to be in the same school."

"Nothing happened, though. I know it's hard to believe and it doesn't look good for me. But I'm not the person Blaine described, I'd never hurt anyone like this, much less a friend I thought he was." Kurt explained in a shaking voice. "This school is what's supposed to guarantee my future, how could I..." he sighed sadly.

"That's what I was wondering, exactly."

"I didn't do it. And Blaine had no right to just tell everyone, especially since I was ruled innocent. Definitely, no press coverage for that, it's taken care of, so no danger for the school's image."

Tibideaux sighed heavily but nodded. "You obviously can't attend classes right now, can you?" she pointed at Kurt's stitched up hand.

"I'm supposed to take these off in a week, it's gotten worse over last week, I was supposed to be okay by now but there was some infection. In a week I can attend classes again with no problem."

"It can be arranged. You will have to make up for lost classes, though. Until the end of this term."

Kurt nodded and rubbed his healthy hand against his thighs. "So, can I go back? And be back to class in a week?"

"Yes. But you're not allowed to be on a campus on Monday in two weeks." Tibideaux said.

"It's when auditions are taking place, isn't it?"

"Yes. And if there's any report on you, anything at all, I'm not keen on giving anyone in this school second chances when it comes to violence of any kind. If I heard anything about you hurting any student in any way I'll not only kick you out, I'll make sure it's reported to authorities and taken care of. I'll see you in a week in my class."

Kurt stood up and left her office after saying goodbye. Only when he went into an empty classroom he sat in the corner of a room and let himself cry. For a split second he felt like he wanted to hurt Blaine but he knew this wasn't going to make any better. Kurt texted Adam, asking to come to the campus and rested his head on his knees. He might have managed not to get kicked out of NYADA but now there was a huge chance everyone would find out by the next year if Blaine managed to get in.

"Kurt, sweetheart." Adam entered the classroom after almost half and hour and came close to his boyfriend. "What happened?"

"Blaine told Tibideaux about the trial..." Kurt whispered and rubbed his eyes furiously. He didn't want to cry but it was difficult.

"Oh, honey." Adam sat by Kurt's side. "What did she say?"

"She wanted to kick me out but I explained I'm innocent but... If Blaine comes to school here I'll have to adjust my schedule and be careful not to get close to him. And he probably will tell everyone..."

"Sweetie, he can't do that."

Kurt bit his lip and hugged Adam. "I'm so scared what will happen."

"I know." Adam rubbed his back and sighed deeply. "I can't believe how awful he is, making your life difficult for no reason."

"He's just jealous I moved on with my life." Kurt sighed and closed his eyes, leaning against Adam's side. They talked for a few more minutes before the next class started and people came into the room. They left the campus then, going to grab lunch at home before Kurt had a meeting with Andrew.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, time flies lately but I promise I have more to post. I just need to set up an alarm on something because a lot is happening in my life right now.

Kurt stood in front of a mirror. Adam had helped him put on the clothing Kurt knew he couldn't put on by himself. This outfit was the best choice for this conversation, not the kind of work clothes he wore every night but something nice. He didn't have work, he just had to save what he already had. 

Adam came out of the bathroom and smiled at Kurt. "You look amazing, sweetheart. Don't get too nervous, whatever happens we'll deal with it."

"I just don't want to lose this job." Kurt said in a shaky voice as he straightened up his jacket. 

"I know, honey." Adam kissed Kurt's neck. "You'll have to explain and talk to him and see what he says. And if there's any trouble, you call the police." 

"Come on..." Kurt stepped away from Adam's embrace. "It's not like that." 

"I know, I know. Can you blame me for worrying though?" Adam rubbed Kurt's shoulder. "You've got to go, I called you a cab." 

"Adam, that's quite a distance from here." 

"I know. He'll wait for you and then bring you home. I'll pay when you're back." 

"You don't have to..." 

"I want to. Go." Adam kissed Kurt lightly and steered him towards the door. 

~*~ 

Andrew was waiting in a hotel restaurant Kurt usually worked in, by one of the tables. Kurt slowly went up to him. 

"Evening." Andrew said quietly and motioned at Kurt to sit down. "I thought you just dropped the job." he said coldly. 

"Hey." Kurt sat down carefully. He put one leg over another under the table. "I just wasn't able to contact anyone." 

Andrew hummed and looked at Kurt. "Honestly, when you came to work with us? I had a lot of hopes for you and now I'm not so sure anymore. This stunt you pulled, you were supposed to have scheduled clients." 

"I know, I can explain."

"I hope so." Andrew raised his eyebrows. 

"I was arrested back in Lima for something I did’t really do anyway and it definitely had nothing to do with my work or anything I do here..." Kurt sighed softly and rubbed his thigh with left hand. 

"What was it?" Andrew asked quietly. "What did you do?" 

Kurt groaned and leaned against his seat. “My ex boyfriend accused me of raping him." 

Andrew started laughing loudly. "Is he out of his mind?" he asked when he finally calmed down. "I mean I'm sorry, I'm not judging you but if I know about your specific taste, he has to.” 

Kurt chuckled and shook his head. "I didn't expect you to believe he lied so easily." 

"Well, of course he lied. But what my concern is, how much do the cops know about you?" 

"Nothing." Kurt said surely. "They're not going to get to anyone through me. And there's a gag order on this whole thing so no press." 

Andrew sighed and shook his head. "I wish you weren't so good with your clients, I could let you go and have no doubts about it."  Kurt winced and looked at the ground. "People like you and you're one of my best guys on the receiving end. I can't afford to let you go. But I need you to get your hand back in shape first. And get a clean bill of health." 

Kurt raised his eyebrows and looked at Andrew surprised. "So I can come back?"

"STD results and a healthy hand. And for a week you're working for half price as during your trial period so I'm sure you're back in shape." 

Kurt smiled and nodded. "In a week I'll have stitches out. If you want to be sure my hand should be okay in two weeks it's going to be back in use completely and safely. I'll get the STD tests before then." he said quietly.

"Okay. Now get out, I have someone to hire coming in half an hour." Andrew offered his hand to shake but then remembered Kurt's right hand was hurt and just patted his shoulder. "And charge your pager while you're getting those tests." 

Kurt waved at Andrew with a small smile and stood up before leaving the restaurant and the hotel. He got in the waiting cab and closed his eyes. Maybe it was going to be okay after all.

~*~ 

Rachel came back home a few days after Adam and Kurt did. They were cuddling on the couch when she burst into the apartment, singing loudly. She put her suitcase by the door and went to the kitchen. Only then she noticed the cuddling pair on the couch.

"What are you doing here?" she asked angrily. 

"Living." Kurt replied calmly and looked at Rachel with raised eyebrows. "It's nice to see you, too."

"You're not living here!" Rachel frowned and crossed her arms on her chest. "I sent you an email about this, I don't want a rapist here." 

Adam's body tensed against Kurt's side. Kurt touched his knee and shook his head. He was going to deal with it by himself. Standing up, he fixed his clothes and came to the kitchen. Rachel stepped back immediately like he was going to hit her. 

"Come on, Rach, let's be adults." Kurt said calmly. 

"No, leave me alone!" she shrieked and took another step away from him. 

"I didn't do anything to Blaine, stop acting like a child and talk to me." Kurt said sharply and sighed when Rachel shrieked again. 

"Stop lying, you might have lied your way out of the jail but I know better!" 

"Exactly, you know me better than this, I've never hurt anyone like that and I would never do it. And come on, you can't kick me out of the apartment, I paid the deposit and signed the lease and I'm paying half of the rent every month. Be reasonable and talk to me." 

"I already talked to the landlord, I'll pay the deposit and he'll give you your money back and my dads will pay rent every month until I start gaining money." 

Kurt groaned and shook his head. "This is stupid, Rachel." he sighed and leaned against the counter. 

"I don't want to live with you." she said stubbornly and pushed by him to get to her room. "Get out or I'll throw all your stuff in the trash as soon as you go to school. Which they should kick you out of anyway!" 

Kurt felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped surprised. Adam was standing behind him. 

"Come on, Kurt. This fight is not worth it." he took Kurt's hand. 

"I don't have anywhere to live, come on. This is ridiculous." Kurt groaned and let go of Adam's hand. "This is bullshit." 

"I know, it is unfair but you can stay with me and we'll find you a place to stay if you don't want to live with me." 

Kurt bit his lip and rubbed his temple. This was a surprise to him and something he didn't expect. Rachel has been his friend for longer than Blaine was in their lives and there was no reason for her to believe his ex over him.

"I can live with you?" Kurt asked uncertainly. "I can pay half of the rent when I can go back work." he promised quietly. Adam nodded and kissed him gently. 

"You can live with me and you don't have to worry about money, sweetheart. Come on, let's pack your things." Adam led Kurt to his bedroom. Rachel scoffed and rolled her eyes. 

"Sure, help a rapist, why not." she murmured angrily. Adam stopped and looked at her over his shoulder. 

"I'll help my boyfriend who's never hurt anyone and who you decided to kick out for no reason at all." He said gently and continue going to Kurt's room.


End file.
